Yeap, just like the topic today says. I'm taking another step forward. Before i start with today's story, i would like to say, i really miss baby alot, i really love baby alot and whatever happens, i'll always be there for u. If not as ur lover, then as ur fren =)
Went partying yesterday nite, and it was one hell of a nite! Meet this girl whom i think is quite attractive. I usually dun approach girls whom are attractive as i tend to have nothing to say =.= But that nite was different because, well... i lost the love of my life to another guy =.= so yea, i was thinking 'what the heck" and just go towards this girl and started introducing myself.
Like i said, that nite was different, not becos of me being daring and everything, but becos of that girl. She is dam open and before i even started introducing myself, she said "hello, nice party rite? wat's ur name?" and i was like "..... ye..yea... I'm wingz, what bout u?"
At that point i thought of "her" again, and i got kinda moody. I was hoping that my thoughts of her wont spoil the mood of the party with that girl. So, i shook the thoughts off and continued with my talks with her. Found out she's older than me and is married already. But i didn't mind, (hey, viewers out there, i aint hitting on this chick yet ok.)* cos i wasn't gonna hit on her. Its just that she's pretty, and she's open and down to earth. U guys know the feeling rite? yeap! =)
Here are part of our conversation:
girl: so where's ur girl?
me: i dun have one. just broke up 2 months + ago.
girl: aw.. that's sad, dun worry, u'll get a new one. ^^
me: yea, i know, it aint easy tho.
girl: well, its never easy finding the right person.
me: well, i found her, but i lost her =.=
girl: then find another one... hahaha. u found it once, so u can find it again.
me: yea well, i still love her so.
girl: so u want her back? hahaha...
me: er... yea.. sorta...
girl: well, why dun u try finding someone and wait for her at the same time? This way, its either she'll be back with you or u'll be with a new girl whom u fell in love with.
me: i am...
girl: dun seem like it. there's a girl over there, go!
-end-
That was "part" of our conversation in mandarin.
Later on that day, still in the party, i thought of what the girl said.
Really, have i really been waiting for her and going after another girl? or am i just waiting for her? What if she doesn't come back? am i gonna be a monk? =.=|||
In a conversation with my dad, i said before "let fate decide" and my dad went "fate, fate ur head, u dun go look where got fate?"
Seriusly tho, its true =.=. So have i really been looking and waiting at the same time? or just waiting?
Found out i was only waiting =.=||| so from that nite on, i aint gonna just wait around anymore. I thought to myself, i aint bad, i aint that poor, its not like i'm fugly or something, i'm willing to change for the better, i somewat know how to treat a girl i love and i got plans for myself before. So why am i just waiting around?
So that nite was one hell of a party, cos i actually went hitting on girls =.= and got myself 2 numbers. Now, i aint gonna rush things so, i'll start with a little "hi" and do some research. kekekeke.
This morning, i was gonna sms those girls but then i didn't. I hesitated cos i thought "what if things got serius?" am i really ready to move on with the new girl? do i even have the cash to treat them to drinks and foods and stuff when i got either one of them? =.=||| ah well.. i guess i'll just develop some relation with them 1st. At least by doing this, even if we can't be together, we'll still remain as frens ^^
So yea, this morning have been good, cos the pain i had in my chest every morning is gone. I'm actually waiting while moving on now. And i got options again. Wat's a guy without options rite? =.=|||
I've decided to stop blogging here from today on as well, its inappropriate as i created this blog solely for "her". If u find me blogging here again, its gonna be becos i'm back with her =) but i'll review this blog over and over again from time to time just so to remind myself that i still love her so much. And If viewers wanna see what i'm up to, then visit my new blog at bbwingzlife.blogspot.com. This blog aint up yet. It will soon ^^. Over there, i will touch up on "her" as well whenever i miss her or thought of something related to her.
Minor notice: there aint gonna be pictures in that blog too so yea... hahaha
152 <3 always and forever
Sunday, 8 November 2009
New verse 7 - A promise fulfilled too late
Lets start by telling what i did yesterday. Nothing. there.. =)
Boring rite? whenever someone replies me with "nothing", there's nothing else to talk about =.=|||
Anyways, i went home early yesterday cos i got dizzy staring at the computer in the office for so long. I kept thinking about her blog and at one point, i almost wanted to visit it again. So i had to stop myself by going to the toilet and getting my face washed =.=. Success!
I went home and took a short nap. Later on, i asked 2 of my frens out to shop around, kai kai and stuff. The thing about them is, one of them is like so dam childish =.=||| seriusly, very annoying. Believe me, when i say its annoying, its really annoying =.=. She was like pushing my face while i was driving. It got me so pissed at one point that i almost "ALMOST" scolded her =.=||| seriusly tho, i'll never bring that girl shopping again =.=.
Anyways, the other girl she's with was abit decent and how lucky, she works in the shopping mall we're in. There's this watch section that i passed by with "her" once. And i told her that i'll buy a heart shaped watch for her. She didn't commented on anything at 1st until i showed her the poster. I guess she likes it alot? =) i can see the glow in her eyes already that time =.=|||. It was then, that i vowed to myself and promised her that i'll get it for her as soon as i got the cash. But then the ring have to come 1st =.=||| oh well.
So i passed by that section and i dunno if i got emo or not. But i remembered her saying in cheezebox once, after we've broken up, "you buy for me la" when i asked her to get a new watch. SOOooo... i sorta asked the sales lady if that watch was still available. The sales lady said no. Sad~ really..
Then the other girl fren whom i said just now was "decent" =.= says that there's one at the bandar branch. Without thinking, i flew down to bandar with the "decent" girl and the "childish" girl =.=|||| *yea, i'm hoping that girl will see this blog and realize that i was really mad* lol...
We rushed down and up to the section where the watch was laying. It's so beautiful, i'm sure it'll suit "her" alot. Without thinking twice, i bought it =.=||| and becos ms.decent works there, i get to have 10% discount... lol. Lets not talk about the price of the watch =.=|||
After shopping around for awhile, we got hungry... so we went to "sempurna restaurant" that nite to have something to eat. Love the american style fried rice there. Think i'll be going there again soon =)
The day ended with us feeling tired and sleepy. After i got home, i layed in bed with my window's curtain opened and stared at the watch, thinking how happy she would be, thinking about her smile. Then i thought to myself, "how am i suppose to give it to her now?" =.=||| just like the ring, the reason i bought this watch is for her, so it'll be very inappropriate to give it to someone else =.=. sigh* God, i miss her so much. As i looked up to the moon i thought to myself, "When u're thinking of someone all the time, that person will come home one day". So when will baby come home to me? cos there's not one day that passed by without baby in my mind.... and i fell asleep. =.=
Lesson learn today? nothing... ^^ and there, end of topic =)
This is like the longest time i've been alone without her in my arms, without her in my life. I can't believe i'm still missing her so much...
152 <3
Boring rite? whenever someone replies me with "nothing", there's nothing else to talk about =.=|||
Anyways, i went home early yesterday cos i got dizzy staring at the computer in the office for so long. I kept thinking about her blog and at one point, i almost wanted to visit it again. So i had to stop myself by going to the toilet and getting my face washed =.=. Success!
I went home and took a short nap. Later on, i asked 2 of my frens out to shop around, kai kai and stuff. The thing about them is, one of them is like so dam childish =.=||| seriusly, very annoying. Believe me, when i say its annoying, its really annoying =.=. She was like pushing my face while i was driving. It got me so pissed at one point that i almost "ALMOST" scolded her =.=||| seriusly tho, i'll never bring that girl shopping again =.=.
Anyways, the other girl she's with was abit decent and how lucky, she works in the shopping mall we're in. There's this watch section that i passed by with "her" once. And i told her that i'll buy a heart shaped watch for her. She didn't commented on anything at 1st until i showed her the poster. I guess she likes it alot? =) i can see the glow in her eyes already that time =.=|||. It was then, that i vowed to myself and promised her that i'll get it for her as soon as i got the cash. But then the ring have to come 1st =.=||| oh well.
So i passed by that section and i dunno if i got emo or not. But i remembered her saying in cheezebox once, after we've broken up, "you buy for me la" when i asked her to get a new watch. SOOooo... i sorta asked the sales lady if that watch was still available. The sales lady said no. Sad~ really..
Then the other girl fren whom i said just now was "decent" =.= says that there's one at the bandar branch. Without thinking, i flew down to bandar with the "decent" girl and the "childish" girl =.=|||| *yea, i'm hoping that girl will see this blog and realize that i was really mad* lol...
We rushed down and up to the section where the watch was laying. It's so beautiful, i'm sure it'll suit "her" alot. Without thinking twice, i bought it =.=||| and becos ms.decent works there, i get to have 10% discount... lol. Lets not talk about the price of the watch =.=|||
After shopping around for awhile, we got hungry... so we went to "sempurna restaurant" that nite to have something to eat. Love the american style fried rice there. Think i'll be going there again soon =)
The day ended with us feeling tired and sleepy. After i got home, i layed in bed with my window's curtain opened and stared at the watch, thinking how happy she would be, thinking about her smile. Then i thought to myself, "how am i suppose to give it to her now?" =.=||| just like the ring, the reason i bought this watch is for her, so it'll be very inappropriate to give it to someone else =.=. sigh* God, i miss her so much. As i looked up to the moon i thought to myself, "When u're thinking of someone all the time, that person will come home one day". So when will baby come home to me? cos there's not one day that passed by without baby in my mind.... and i fell asleep. =.=
Lesson learn today? nothing... ^^ and there, end of topic =)
This is like the longest time i've been alone without her in my arms, without her in my life. I can't believe i'm still missing her so much...
152 <3
Friday, 6 November 2009
New verse 6 - misunderstandings handled improperly
*I wont be disclosing her blog, cos then, all u viewers will be busy reading hers and not mine =.= and i dun really wan ppl to know who she is anyways. ^^ This blog is between my relationship with her's. Names and info aren't required =)
I just read her blog. I said i wouldn't visit her blog ever again, and i did... hence i dunno what happened until someone told me about it. They say curiousity kills the cat. Somewat i find it quite true. =.=||| i'm just lucky i aint dead yet.
What can i say? i've been through worse...
Its regarding my previous post. I posted that my fren says that she's "immature" (*lol.. i told u she'll be furious*) and she totally were and still is i suppose? F.u.r.i.o.u.s.
Well... maybe its my fault too for not saying what is to be said. She thinks that i've been saying bad things behind her back, leading to my frens or ppl that's i've talked to (*only 4 so far jst so she know, to cleansed her from curiousity and further fury) thinking that she's immature =.=|||
I dunno how to explain it but the fact is, they all concluded she's immature in a way and i didn't say anything fake. All 100% truth.
Maybe she wont be so mad at me if i've posted other things that this "girl friend" of mine said yesterday.
For her info, and all u viewers too, my fren said that i'm immature too =) and i admit that. I used to be so immature that i couldn't bare the sight of it. Not saying that i've changed everything now. Even a 50 year old man have a certain immaturity in him ^^.
Why'd my fren say i was immature? cos i gets mad at "her" most of the time over little things in the past, scolding her bitch and everything, cos i always stopped by the road side fighting with her in the car, cos i couldn't control my urge of wanting to stop this senseless fight right now *as in then*, i couldn't even wait till we all calmed down 1st, cos i waited outside her house that time until she came out to see me.
Seriusly, i sorta know the reason why she was this furious after reading my previous post. If u were thinking "this bastard were talking bad things behind me while saying nice words infront of me just to get me back" i would bet u'll be mad like a bull too =)
Lesson to be learn here? well.. always ask and find out everything, truth and facts before going mad. I dun blame her, i blame myself. why? cos i used to be like her too and i should know better than to comment on her blog. I just added some gasoline to a fire breathing dragon... lol.
She told me that she saw my conversation with a girl in facebook. And here's what i have to say. "so?"
I hope before she goes berserk again, my "so?" is meant in a nice way. Yea, i told that girl that i have to move on BECOS u dun wanna come back anymore. Yea, i told her that u left me and that we're not a match from the begining. Yea, i told her that u have a bad temper. And here's my question "so?"
I never mentioned to her about our past, nor did i mention to her ur name, ur URL, or who u were. This girl i added after we've broken up for about a few weeks i think? hm... can't remember. And i was moody, i just said things out without making much effort to explain things. WHY? cos i'm not very fond with "pin yin" and its freaking facebook... u know how hard it is to chat in facebook? =.=|||
She says she knows i'm going nuts without her and "heheheheheh" =.=||| here my answer to that again... "so?"
Everyone here knows that. Everyone who's reading my blog anyways. Inc my frens and the ppl i've talked to just so i could get some advice and opinions.
She says i've been bugging her. But i haven't been in contact with her for 2-3 days already =S
Baby have a bad day just becos she thought this and that without knowing facts. I have a bad day today, correction "tonite" cos baby had to be this way and wat's worse is at the end of the blog, she commented "why must you make me do this =( lol"
But hey, i'm gonna tell everyone here right now that i'm not blaming her for that. WHY? cos those who don't know, have no guilt. And becos i'm going NUTS without her, and i love her.
Baby said to make up my mind, dun be a 2 face, a poker face. But i've already made up my mind. What was baby doing reading my blog? remembering the word "immature" only?
To all my viewers, I've gotta be one professional Liar huh? to make u all believe that i'm still madly in love with this girl and that i wanted her back so badly. To my frens, i think i can make it to hollywood with my tears act huh? lol... Anyways, i'm gonna take a time out until i've something to post again ^^ i'll make sure to get my words rite or sentences rite before posting, just so to prevent any misunderstandings again.
I hope i've somehow calmed baby down tonite, and as always, please drink lotsa water everday, and try ur best to finish ur assignments on time k? gd luck with everything <3
152 <3
I just read her blog. I said i wouldn't visit her blog ever again, and i did... hence i dunno what happened until someone told me about it. They say curiousity kills the cat. Somewat i find it quite true. =.=||| i'm just lucky i aint dead yet.
What can i say? i've been through worse...
Its regarding my previous post. I posted that my fren says that she's "immature" (*lol.. i told u she'll be furious*) and she totally were and still is i suppose? F.u.r.i.o.u.s.
Well... maybe its my fault too for not saying what is to be said. She thinks that i've been saying bad things behind her back, leading to my frens or ppl that's i've talked to (*only 4 so far jst so she know, to cleansed her from curiousity and further fury) thinking that she's immature =.=|||
I dunno how to explain it but the fact is, they all concluded she's immature in a way and i didn't say anything fake. All 100% truth.
Maybe she wont be so mad at me if i've posted other things that this "girl friend" of mine said yesterday.
For her info, and all u viewers too, my fren said that i'm immature too =) and i admit that. I used to be so immature that i couldn't bare the sight of it. Not saying that i've changed everything now. Even a 50 year old man have a certain immaturity in him ^^.
Why'd my fren say i was immature? cos i gets mad at "her" most of the time over little things in the past, scolding her bitch and everything, cos i always stopped by the road side fighting with her in the car, cos i couldn't control my urge of wanting to stop this senseless fight right now *as in then*, i couldn't even wait till we all calmed down 1st, cos i waited outside her house that time until she came out to see me.
Seriusly, i sorta know the reason why she was this furious after reading my previous post. If u were thinking "this bastard were talking bad things behind me while saying nice words infront of me just to get me back" i would bet u'll be mad like a bull too =)
Lesson to be learn here? well.. always ask and find out everything, truth and facts before going mad. I dun blame her, i blame myself. why? cos i used to be like her too and i should know better than to comment on her blog. I just added some gasoline to a fire breathing dragon... lol.
She told me that she saw my conversation with a girl in facebook. And here's what i have to say. "so?"
I hope before she goes berserk again, my "so?" is meant in a nice way. Yea, i told that girl that i have to move on BECOS u dun wanna come back anymore. Yea, i told her that u left me and that we're not a match from the begining. Yea, i told her that u have a bad temper. And here's my question "so?"
I never mentioned to her about our past, nor did i mention to her ur name, ur URL, or who u were. This girl i added after we've broken up for about a few weeks i think? hm... can't remember. And i was moody, i just said things out without making much effort to explain things. WHY? cos i'm not very fond with "pin yin" and its freaking facebook... u know how hard it is to chat in facebook? =.=|||
She says she knows i'm going nuts without her and "heheheheheh" =.=||| here my answer to that again... "so?"
Everyone here knows that. Everyone who's reading my blog anyways. Inc my frens and the ppl i've talked to just so i could get some advice and opinions.
She says i've been bugging her. But i haven't been in contact with her for 2-3 days already =S
Baby have a bad day just becos she thought this and that without knowing facts. I have a bad day today, correction "tonite" cos baby had to be this way and wat's worse is at the end of the blog, she commented "why must you make me do this =( lol"
But hey, i'm gonna tell everyone here right now that i'm not blaming her for that. WHY? cos those who don't know, have no guilt. And becos i'm going NUTS without her, and i love her.
Baby said to make up my mind, dun be a 2 face, a poker face. But i've already made up my mind. What was baby doing reading my blog? remembering the word "immature" only?
To all my viewers, I've gotta be one professional Liar huh? to make u all believe that i'm still madly in love with this girl and that i wanted her back so badly. To my frens, i think i can make it to hollywood with my tears act huh? lol... Anyways, i'm gonna take a time out until i've something to post again ^^ i'll make sure to get my words rite or sentences rite before posting, just so to prevent any misunderstandings again.
I hope i've somehow calmed baby down tonite, and as always, please drink lotsa water everday, and try ur best to finish ur assignments on time k? gd luck with everything <3
152 <3
New verse 5 - What else can i do?
Yesterday, i was talking to one of my fren and here are part of our conversation:
her: do u know how to love?
me: i dunno, i do i guess?
her: no, u don't...
me: .......... what makes u say that?
her: cos u're starving urself ever since i meet you a few weeks back. u've been so emotionally down. sure, u can talk straight, make sense in what u say, know what u should do and what you shouldn't, but u're still being controlled by ur emotions. and your emotions, ur feelings are saying "get her back, even if u have wait a year or 2, just get her back". I understand that you love her, but do u think u can love her properly even if u got her back now?
me: i can, just as long as she's back, i would feel so... (she stops me here)
her: don't lie to yourself wingz, u have this thoughts of treating her better, treating her good and everything. but didn't u realise? everything you do is about her, her, her... If i were ur gf, i would probably feel that u're too sticky. What i'm trying to say is, if u love her, let her do wat she wants and just catch her when she falls. Isn't that what u said in ur blog? In order for u to love her properly if she ever comes back, 1st u must learn to love urself.
me: u could've just said that u know? =.=||| no need to go through all this talks.
and we continue yapping =.=.
Lesson learnt? nothing basically... it just reminded me about her. About the time we spent together, laughing and holding hands. I browse through the pictures i took with her. I can't believe its all over. Really, why does she have to leave?
Later that day, we touched on this topic.
me: bla bla bla... cos i hurt her and she needs a time out from me.
her: yea, a time out, so why did she leave?
me: she says she dun wanna come back to this hell hole. waiting for a guy to come home every nite.
her: ur gf, sorry, ur ex, is just too young, immature.. a time out is a time out, every couple have that once in awhile, specially when everything seems to just go so wrong at times. But a break up? ridiculous~ have u ever cheated on her?
me: no, but thinking back, there're words that i used that hurt her i guess..
her: that's why she's immature, she should understand that words aren't everything. I said i hate my ex alot of time too, i even called him a bastard. If he takes my word seriusly, then what about my actions when i'm with him? the time we kiss? wow! i'm kissing someone i dun even love. I must be a whore then?
me: lol... u dun have to go into that extent =.=
her: do u get my point now?
me: yea, i got it ^^, i'm sure she'll be pissed when she hear u saying that she's immature. hahaha...
me: i understand wat u're trying to say, but understand that she's only 19, yea... maybe immature abit, i am "immature" too, but i can't blame her rite? me being 24, i should know better and treat her better. Break things down to her gently... I know she's very fragile and yet, i handled her so roughly =.=
her: stop blaming urself wingz.
me: i'm not, we all make mistakes, i'm not saying that she's all rite too. i'm just saying that i'm learning from this that's all...
-end-
Just for my viewer's info, the sentences above are translated from mandarin language and some mixed english. The exact words might not be there, but the meanings are more or less the same.
To my fren: dun blame me, u dared me to blog it remember? =.=
Anyways, lesson supposed to be learn from all this is "learn to love yourself before you love others" am i rite? =)
I've been loving myself really.. Been going to gym, been eating healthy food. Tho i must admit i dun have the appetite to eat every time i thought of her, or rather, thought of us being together in the past. The days we spent on every occasions, Valentine's day, Anniversary, Birthdays, Chinese new year, and so on... Its really unforgettable and it'll always remain in my heart. But yea, i've been eating even when my appetite is in an all time low.
Cant explain how much i miss her anymore, Cant be bothered to think about how long more must i wait for her to come back. But i'm sure, like most people say, time is still ticking, i'll have to move on one day too. I gotta make a success in my career 1st else things wont change even if she comes back. Its just too bad she's not by my side going through all these changes with me. I understand, its hard for her, painful and everything, i wouldn't want her to go through it with me either. So i'll go through it myself and i'm keeping my promise baby, I'll catch u if ever u were to fall...
152 <3
her: do u know how to love?
me: i dunno, i do i guess?
her: no, u don't...
me: .......... what makes u say that?
her: cos u're starving urself ever since i meet you a few weeks back. u've been so emotionally down. sure, u can talk straight, make sense in what u say, know what u should do and what you shouldn't, but u're still being controlled by ur emotions. and your emotions, ur feelings are saying "get her back, even if u have wait a year or 2, just get her back". I understand that you love her, but do u think u can love her properly even if u got her back now?
me: i can, just as long as she's back, i would feel so... (she stops me here)
her: don't lie to yourself wingz, u have this thoughts of treating her better, treating her good and everything. but didn't u realise? everything you do is about her, her, her... If i were ur gf, i would probably feel that u're too sticky. What i'm trying to say is, if u love her, let her do wat she wants and just catch her when she falls. Isn't that what u said in ur blog? In order for u to love her properly if she ever comes back, 1st u must learn to love urself.
me: u could've just said that u know? =.=||| no need to go through all this talks.
and we continue yapping =.=.
Lesson learnt? nothing basically... it just reminded me about her. About the time we spent together, laughing and holding hands. I browse through the pictures i took with her. I can't believe its all over. Really, why does she have to leave?
Later that day, we touched on this topic.
me: bla bla bla... cos i hurt her and she needs a time out from me.
her: yea, a time out, so why did she leave?
me: she says she dun wanna come back to this hell hole. waiting for a guy to come home every nite.
her: ur gf, sorry, ur ex, is just too young, immature.. a time out is a time out, every couple have that once in awhile, specially when everything seems to just go so wrong at times. But a break up? ridiculous~ have u ever cheated on her?
me: no, but thinking back, there're words that i used that hurt her i guess..
her: that's why she's immature, she should understand that words aren't everything. I said i hate my ex alot of time too, i even called him a bastard. If he takes my word seriusly, then what about my actions when i'm with him? the time we kiss? wow! i'm kissing someone i dun even love. I must be a whore then?
me: lol... u dun have to go into that extent =.=
her: do u get my point now?
me: yea, i got it ^^, i'm sure she'll be pissed when she hear u saying that she's immature. hahaha...
me: i understand wat u're trying to say, but understand that she's only 19, yea... maybe immature abit, i am "immature" too, but i can't blame her rite? me being 24, i should know better and treat her better. Break things down to her gently... I know she's very fragile and yet, i handled her so roughly =.=
her: stop blaming urself wingz.
me: i'm not, we all make mistakes, i'm not saying that she's all rite too. i'm just saying that i'm learning from this that's all...
-end-
Just for my viewer's info, the sentences above are translated from mandarin language and some mixed english. The exact words might not be there, but the meanings are more or less the same.
To my fren: dun blame me, u dared me to blog it remember? =.=
Anyways, lesson supposed to be learn from all this is "learn to love yourself before you love others" am i rite? =)
I've been loving myself really.. Been going to gym, been eating healthy food. Tho i must admit i dun have the appetite to eat every time i thought of her, or rather, thought of us being together in the past. The days we spent on every occasions, Valentine's day, Anniversary, Birthdays, Chinese new year, and so on... Its really unforgettable and it'll always remain in my heart. But yea, i've been eating even when my appetite is in an all time low.
Cant explain how much i miss her anymore, Cant be bothered to think about how long more must i wait for her to come back. But i'm sure, like most people say, time is still ticking, i'll have to move on one day too. I gotta make a success in my career 1st else things wont change even if she comes back. Its just too bad she's not by my side going through all these changes with me. I understand, its hard for her, painful and everything, i wouldn't want her to go through it with me either. So i'll go through it myself and i'm keeping my promise baby, I'll catch u if ever u were to fall...
152 <3
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
New verse 4 - Its love...
Here's something that woke me up and made me decide what i should do next. It explained what is this feelings i'm having all these while. It explains why after so many complaints about her, i'm still missing her right now, wishing i could change something or make things better. God, u must really be playing me right now =.=
Is Your Love Genuine Or Fake?
“Buy Rolex. $20 only.”
A moustached guy offered it to me while walking in a busy street.
Wow. Didn’t Rolex watches sell at $5000 each?
Because he thought I was interested, the man opened his jacket and displayed other designer watches—such as Patek Phillip, Cartier, and Omega. “Choose what you want. $20 only each.”
That was shocking. I knew some high-end Patek watches cost $200,000. So how in the world could this man be selling them for $20?
Too bad for the watch guy, I don’t use watches. Stopped using them 25 years ago. To know the time, I look at the sun. On a cloudy day, I look at someone else’s watch.
But my buddy bought a $20 Rolex. It was a steal, he said.
Hey, it looked like a Rolex. It worked like a Rolex. It felt like a Rolex. But it wasn’t a Rolex.
Five months later, my friend was sad because his watch broke down. I told him, “What did you expect?”
Let me use this to explain why we have problems in our relationships.
How To Do The Great Switcheroo
Why do so many marriages have problems today?
Because many couples built their marriage on a pirated version of Love, not Love.
The pirated version of Love is Infatuation.
There was a time when I thought Infatuation was only for pimple-faced teenyboppers. Not true. Old fogies like myself aren’t exempted.
Not that Infatuation is a bad thing. It’s totally normal. Infatuation only becomes a bad thing if a person thinks it was Love.
I repeat: Infatuation is like a pirated copy of Love.
Foolish people think the pirated copy is real. When it breaks down, they panic or get depressed. They realize it’s fake. And their whole world crumbles.
Wise people know Infatuation is a pirated copy. They enjoy it while it lasts, but they know it was brittle and wouldn’t last. So secretly, they also bought the genuine article. (Note: Pirated versions are given; Real versions are bought. I’ll explain later.) So when the pirated version breaks down, the wise person does the great switcheroo. He pulls out the real thing.
Today, I’ll tell you how to spot the genuine from the fake.
I’ll describe the real deal—and how it’s the only thing that can save your marriage. But not only your marriage, but every other relationship you have.
Oh yes, so many people have relationship problems with their parents, or children, or siblings, or friends—because they don’t know what Real Love is.
I’m going to explain to you that Real Love is about dirty hands, not beating hearts.
Let me explain how this great switcheroo works…
“Ngooorrrk!”
“Father, we want to get married.”
When the engaged couple went to the priest to schedule their wedding, their hearts were beating for each other. It was so loud, the priest could actually hear it. “Dubdub. Dubdub. Dubdub.”
But he’s seen this before. How sweet lovebirds end up almost killing each other a year after the wedding. So he warned them, “As you know, feelings of love won’t last.”
And the couple said, “We know Father.”
But at the back of their minds, they’re saying, “We know Father that feelings of love won’t last for everyone else. But not for us. How can this feeling be fake when it’s as strong as a roaring volcano? It is as clear as the noonday sun, as eternal as the waves of the sea, as beautiful as the stars in the night sky.”
After the wedding ceremony, they have their honeymoon.
On their first night, the new husband watches his bride asleep, the moonlight streaming from the bedroom window onto her lovely face. He gazes at her long eyelashes, her pinkish cheeks, her parted lips. All of a sudden, she snores.
“Ngooorrrk.”
What does he say?
“How cute.”
Six months later, it’s the same scene.
They’re at home. The guy sees his wife asleep, with the moonlight streaming from the window onto her face. All of a sudden, she snores.
“Ngooorrrk.”
What does he say?
“How gross.”
What happened? Infatuation, the pirated version of love, disappeared. Real Love must now kick in.
But only if he has it.
Let me give you another example.
From Gazing To Gossiping
How do you know if a couple in the restaurant are not married?
Easy.
If they’re physically close, touching each other, hand to hand, eye to eye, nose to nose, bad breath to bad breath—they’re not married.
Look underneath their table, and if their legs are intertwined and they’re playing footsies together, they’re not married.
If they don’t look at anything else but each other, they’re not married.
If nuclear bombs fall right beside them and they won’t even notice, they’re not married.
If a flash flood engulfs the entire restaurant and all the guy could say was, “Sweetheart, I love the color of your eyes as it reflects the brownish floodwater around us,” you can bet your life, they’re not married.
And how do you know if a couple in a restaurant are married?
Easy.
If they’re seated far apart, so far a part, a six by six truck could pass in between them, they’re married.
If they look bored, they’re married.
If the whole night, all they do is talk about other people, they’re married. The wife whispers, “Don’t look at her, but the woman behind you is wearing fake eyelashes, fake jewellery, a fake Coach bag, fake anatomical parts, and a fake husband.” Being dense, the man turns around and asks, “Where? Where?”
Once upon a time, they had eyes only for one another.
Now, they barely look at each other.
What has happened? Infatuation, the pirated version of love, disappeared. Real Love must now kick in.
But only if they have it.
Spot The Difference
Let me now share five clear-as-daylight differences between Infatuation and Real Love:
1. Infatuation doesn’t require a decision. It just happens. You see a girl and boom—your hormones kick in and you want her. You don’t know why. It’s her dress. It’s the way her hair falls on her shoulder. It’s her smile. It’s the way she bites her fingernail. That’s why I said that pirated versions are free. But Real Love doesn’t just happen; Real Love requires a decision. That’s why Scott Peck says Real Love can only start after one has “fallen out of love.”
2. Infatuation, no matter what you do, lasts only for a season. You have these feelings of love swirling within you until something happens that breaks the spell. Maybe she’ll open her mouth. Maybe she’ll reveal her fangs. Maybe she’ll pick her nose. Maybe she’ll spend your money. Maybe she’ll introduce you to her mother. Maybe she gains 30 pounds. It could be anything. Infatuation can last for a few days or for a couple of years. But Real Love can last forever precisely because it’s a decision.
3. Infatuation is directed towards a figment of your imagination. You’re not attracted to a real person. You’re attracted to a projection of that person from your own imagination. Like Infatuation itself, you’re in love with a fake. But Real Love is directed towards a real person. You now know her strengths and weaknesses, and have accepted it all.
4. Infatuation is a spontaneous collapse of your boundaries. You get lost and you merge with the other. You’re enmeshed. You can’t survive without each other. But Real Love requires strengthening of both your boundaries; You actually don’t need each other, but you choose each other because you want to serve.
5. Infatuation is all about feelings. Dubdub. Dubdub. Dubdub. Cold palms, giddy spells, dazed looks, and feet on the clouds. But Real Love is about dirty hands. You don’t have to feelanything to love. Love is a verb, not just a feeling. Love is an action, not just a state. Let me repeat my message: I believe love is about dirty hands, not beating hearts. The essence of love isn’t feelings but service. Scott Peck says it so well—the opposite of love isn’t hatred; the opposite of love is laziness.
Your Physiology Affects Your Psychology
Here’s the thing.
I’ve found out that only mature people can love. Only mature people can do the great switcheroo when the pirated copy fails. They just pull out the genuine article.
Why? Only mature people have love within them.
Real Love has very little to do with the other person. A loving person can love because he is a loving person, not because the other person is lovable.
You may be asking me, “But Bo, is love dry? Isn’t there room for feelings?”
Of course, there is.
Here’s a secret mature people know in their hearts even if they don’t know it cognitively: Your physiology affects your psychology. Your feeling follows your action.
If we keep on doing acts of love, we increase our feelings of love. The more we “dirty our hands”, the more we find our “hearts beating” for the other.
To make this practical, let me share seven simple ways of dirtying your hands. They are (1) Help, (2) Prayer, (3) Presence, (4) Touch, (5) Words, (6) Gifts, and (7) Boundaries.
1. Help
Love means giving practical help.
If you’re a mother, I’m sure there are days when you wake up feeling blue and you don’t want to enter the kitchen. But fifteen minutes later, where are you? Cooking in the kitchen, because some little people will get hungry. You don’t feel like doing it. But you do it anyway. That’s love.
If you’re a husband, I’m sure there are days when you go home tired from work. But you see your kids. And even if all you want to do is lie down on the couch, you decide to play with them. You don’t feel like doing it. But you do it anyway. That’s love.
If you’re a child whose parents are older, I’m sure you want to help them. Sure, you’ve got your own problems now, but doesn’t stop you from serving them. You don’t feel like doing it. But you do it anyway. That’s love.
2. Prayer
Love means praying for your loved ones.
Perhaps your father was a horrible man. And you hate him. But you decide to pray for him.
Sooner or later, God will answer your prayer. God will change him, but He’ll change you first. Your father gets blessed, but you get blessed too. Ultimately, you become a more loving person.
You pray whether you feel like it or not.
That’s love.
3. Presence
Love means spending time together.
Not just being physically together, but also being emotionally together.
That could mean a father playing with his kids. Or a daughter visiting her aging parents. Or siblings going shopping together. Or friends laughing over pizza. Or a couple taking a walk.
There’ll be times when you won’t feel like bonding together.
But you do it anyway. That’s love.
4. Touch
Love means physical affection.
One day, a couple walking to work noticed a man passionately kissing a woman. “Why don’t you do that?” said the wife.
“Honey,” replied her husband, “I don’t even know that woman!”
People aren’t machines. They need to be touched. Holding hands, pats on the back, shoulder rubs, hugs, and kisses nourish and heal people more than you can possibly imagine.
Again, there’ll be days when you don’t want to kiss or hold hands or hug. But you do it anyway. That’s love.
5. Words
Love means verbal or written expressions.
When was the last time you told your husband, “Thank you for working so hard for our family”? When was the last time you told your wife, “Thank you for being a great mother to our kids”? When was the last time you told your mother, “Thanks for serving me all these years”? And when was the last time you actually said, “I love you”?
You might argue with me and say, “Bo, I don’t want to be a hypocrite. When I say it, I must feel it.”
Here’s my question: Are you just your emotions?
Or are you much more than your emotions? Are you also your spirit, your soul, your mind, your imagination, your will?
6. Gifts
Love means giving tokens—or symbols of love.
To you, your gift may mean nothing. But to another person, a small, inexpensive gift from you could mean the world.
7. Boundaries
Love means respecting the boundaries of the other.
Love means giving space to the other and letting the other person grow on her own. Love also means letting the other face her own responsibilities.
I like it when my wife goes out with her girlfriends each week. I like it when she takes up other interests. I like it when she grows and flourishes as an individual. I like it when she tells me, “Bo, I need some alone time. I’ll just go window shopping for awhile.” So I pray over her, “Lord, I claim in faith that she’ll be faithful to those words, that she will indeed go ‘window’ shopping only. Thank you, Lord, for this miracle!”
Love Is Service
Many years ago, I met Alice, a Filipina teacher in Brunei.
She was my host and took care of me while I was there. When I woke up early one morning, I noticed that she was on the phone. But she wasn’t speaking.
She explained that it was her beautiful ritual of love to her husband. Years ago, her husband suffered a stroke and he became paralyzed. So she went to Brunei to work for the family.
And what was this ritual of love? Alice would wake up at 4 in the morning to call her husband. (This was before the days of cell phones and text messages.) But because they could not afford long distance calls, they agreed that the husband was not to answer the phone.
Instead, the husband would allow the phone to ring.
And ring.
And ring.
He would allow the love of Alice, symbolized by the ringing, to fill their house and to fill his heart.
For 8 years straight, Alice did this beautiful ritual without fail.
Until he finally passed away.
That’s what love is.
Not like feelings that come and go.
Not like moods that are here today and gone tomorrow.
Love is simply done, day in and day out.
Because it’s eternal.
Constant.
Faithful.
It was Mother Teresa who said, “Service is a fruit of love”.
If you love, you will serve.
Go now, and like Mother Teresa, dirty your hands.
May your dreams come true.
-end-
Baby, i dun mind if u grow fat in the future, have pimples all over ur face. I dun mind if u have bad habits. I dun mind right now, and i wont mind in the future. That's what i came up with after thinking under normal circumstances.
If its becos i've hurt u so much, i would gladly make things better for you, u know i can do it rite?
Yea i was lazy to care about ur feelings at times, that's why i'm realizing it now. They say Real Love can only start after one has “fallen out of love.”
Remembered when i got u back, whenever we quarreled, we always brought up the past to talk about. I kept asking and asking u not to bring up the past, but i failed to realized that there's always a reason why u brought it up. I was hard headed, and sub-consciously i guess i always wanted to win.
They say men are from mars and women are from venus. Women do things through feelings and men do things through logic. I should've put myself in ur shoes and see wat u're feeling baby.
Nothing is ever too late, just as long as i still love you... one day, maybe we can all start over. I promise, i swear, i'll talk with u everyday, accompany u whenever i can. Even if i can't, i'll make an effort to... No matter how lazy i would get. I'll review this blog i made and go straight to u and tell u once again just how much i love you so...
But ofcos, I guess it all depends if u would wanna come back.... sigh*
152 <3
Is Your Love Genuine Or Fake?
“Buy Rolex. $20 only.”
A moustached guy offered it to me while walking in a busy street.
Wow. Didn’t Rolex watches sell at $5000 each?
Because he thought I was interested, the man opened his jacket and displayed other designer watches—such as Patek Phillip, Cartier, and Omega. “Choose what you want. $20 only each.”
That was shocking. I knew some high-end Patek watches cost $200,000. So how in the world could this man be selling them for $20?
Too bad for the watch guy, I don’t use watches. Stopped using them 25 years ago. To know the time, I look at the sun. On a cloudy day, I look at someone else’s watch.
But my buddy bought a $20 Rolex. It was a steal, he said.
Hey, it looked like a Rolex. It worked like a Rolex. It felt like a Rolex. But it wasn’t a Rolex.
Five months later, my friend was sad because his watch broke down. I told him, “What did you expect?”
Let me use this to explain why we have problems in our relationships.
How To Do The Great Switcheroo
Why do so many marriages have problems today?
Because many couples built their marriage on a pirated version of Love, not Love.
The pirated version of Love is Infatuation.
There was a time when I thought Infatuation was only for pimple-faced teenyboppers. Not true. Old fogies like myself aren’t exempted.
Not that Infatuation is a bad thing. It’s totally normal. Infatuation only becomes a bad thing if a person thinks it was Love.
I repeat: Infatuation is like a pirated copy of Love.
Foolish people think the pirated copy is real. When it breaks down, they panic or get depressed. They realize it’s fake. And their whole world crumbles.
Wise people know Infatuation is a pirated copy. They enjoy it while it lasts, but they know it was brittle and wouldn’t last. So secretly, they also bought the genuine article. (Note: Pirated versions are given; Real versions are bought. I’ll explain later.) So when the pirated version breaks down, the wise person does the great switcheroo. He pulls out the real thing.
Today, I’ll tell you how to spot the genuine from the fake.
I’ll describe the real deal—and how it’s the only thing that can save your marriage. But not only your marriage, but every other relationship you have.
Oh yes, so many people have relationship problems with their parents, or children, or siblings, or friends—because they don’t know what Real Love is.
I’m going to explain to you that Real Love is about dirty hands, not beating hearts.
Let me explain how this great switcheroo works…
“Ngooorrrk!”
“Father, we want to get married.”
When the engaged couple went to the priest to schedule their wedding, their hearts were beating for each other. It was so loud, the priest could actually hear it. “Dubdub. Dubdub. Dubdub.”
But he’s seen this before. How sweet lovebirds end up almost killing each other a year after the wedding. So he warned them, “As you know, feelings of love won’t last.”
And the couple said, “We know Father.”
But at the back of their minds, they’re saying, “We know Father that feelings of love won’t last for everyone else. But not for us. How can this feeling be fake when it’s as strong as a roaring volcano? It is as clear as the noonday sun, as eternal as the waves of the sea, as beautiful as the stars in the night sky.”
After the wedding ceremony, they have their honeymoon.
On their first night, the new husband watches his bride asleep, the moonlight streaming from the bedroom window onto her lovely face. He gazes at her long eyelashes, her pinkish cheeks, her parted lips. All of a sudden, she snores.
“Ngooorrrk.”
What does he say?
“How cute.”
Six months later, it’s the same scene.
They’re at home. The guy sees his wife asleep, with the moonlight streaming from the window onto her face. All of a sudden, she snores.
“Ngooorrrk.”
What does he say?
“How gross.”
What happened? Infatuation, the pirated version of love, disappeared. Real Love must now kick in.
But only if he has it.
Let me give you another example.
From Gazing To Gossiping
How do you know if a couple in the restaurant are not married?
Easy.
If they’re physically close, touching each other, hand to hand, eye to eye, nose to nose, bad breath to bad breath—they’re not married.
Look underneath their table, and if their legs are intertwined and they’re playing footsies together, they’re not married.
If they don’t look at anything else but each other, they’re not married.
If nuclear bombs fall right beside them and they won’t even notice, they’re not married.
If a flash flood engulfs the entire restaurant and all the guy could say was, “Sweetheart, I love the color of your eyes as it reflects the brownish floodwater around us,” you can bet your life, they’re not married.
And how do you know if a couple in a restaurant are married?
Easy.
If they’re seated far apart, so far a part, a six by six truck could pass in between them, they’re married.
If they look bored, they’re married.
If the whole night, all they do is talk about other people, they’re married. The wife whispers, “Don’t look at her, but the woman behind you is wearing fake eyelashes, fake jewellery, a fake Coach bag, fake anatomical parts, and a fake husband.” Being dense, the man turns around and asks, “Where? Where?”
Once upon a time, they had eyes only for one another.
Now, they barely look at each other.
What has happened? Infatuation, the pirated version of love, disappeared. Real Love must now kick in.
But only if they have it.
Spot The Difference
Let me now share five clear-as-daylight differences between Infatuation and Real Love:
1. Infatuation doesn’t require a decision. It just happens. You see a girl and boom—your hormones kick in and you want her. You don’t know why. It’s her dress. It’s the way her hair falls on her shoulder. It’s her smile. It’s the way she bites her fingernail. That’s why I said that pirated versions are free. But Real Love doesn’t just happen; Real Love requires a decision. That’s why Scott Peck says Real Love can only start after one has “fallen out of love.”
2. Infatuation, no matter what you do, lasts only for a season. You have these feelings of love swirling within you until something happens that breaks the spell. Maybe she’ll open her mouth. Maybe she’ll reveal her fangs. Maybe she’ll pick her nose. Maybe she’ll spend your money. Maybe she’ll introduce you to her mother. Maybe she gains 30 pounds. It could be anything. Infatuation can last for a few days or for a couple of years. But Real Love can last forever precisely because it’s a decision.
3. Infatuation is directed towards a figment of your imagination. You’re not attracted to a real person. You’re attracted to a projection of that person from your own imagination. Like Infatuation itself, you’re in love with a fake. But Real Love is directed towards a real person. You now know her strengths and weaknesses, and have accepted it all.
4. Infatuation is a spontaneous collapse of your boundaries. You get lost and you merge with the other. You’re enmeshed. You can’t survive without each other. But Real Love requires strengthening of both your boundaries; You actually don’t need each other, but you choose each other because you want to serve.
5. Infatuation is all about feelings. Dubdub. Dubdub. Dubdub. Cold palms, giddy spells, dazed looks, and feet on the clouds. But Real Love is about dirty hands. You don’t have to feelanything to love. Love is a verb, not just a feeling. Love is an action, not just a state. Let me repeat my message: I believe love is about dirty hands, not beating hearts. The essence of love isn’t feelings but service. Scott Peck says it so well—the opposite of love isn’t hatred; the opposite of love is laziness.
Your Physiology Affects Your Psychology
Here’s the thing.
I’ve found out that only mature people can love. Only mature people can do the great switcheroo when the pirated copy fails. They just pull out the genuine article.
Why? Only mature people have love within them.
Real Love has very little to do with the other person. A loving person can love because he is a loving person, not because the other person is lovable.
You may be asking me, “But Bo, is love dry? Isn’t there room for feelings?”
Of course, there is.
Here’s a secret mature people know in their hearts even if they don’t know it cognitively: Your physiology affects your psychology. Your feeling follows your action.
If we keep on doing acts of love, we increase our feelings of love. The more we “dirty our hands”, the more we find our “hearts beating” for the other.
To make this practical, let me share seven simple ways of dirtying your hands. They are (1) Help, (2) Prayer, (3) Presence, (4) Touch, (5) Words, (6) Gifts, and (7) Boundaries.
1. Help
Love means giving practical help.
If you’re a mother, I’m sure there are days when you wake up feeling blue and you don’t want to enter the kitchen. But fifteen minutes later, where are you? Cooking in the kitchen, because some little people will get hungry. You don’t feel like doing it. But you do it anyway. That’s love.
If you’re a husband, I’m sure there are days when you go home tired from work. But you see your kids. And even if all you want to do is lie down on the couch, you decide to play with them. You don’t feel like doing it. But you do it anyway. That’s love.
If you’re a child whose parents are older, I’m sure you want to help them. Sure, you’ve got your own problems now, but doesn’t stop you from serving them. You don’t feel like doing it. But you do it anyway. That’s love.
2. Prayer
Love means praying for your loved ones.
Perhaps your father was a horrible man. And you hate him. But you decide to pray for him.
Sooner or later, God will answer your prayer. God will change him, but He’ll change you first. Your father gets blessed, but you get blessed too. Ultimately, you become a more loving person.
You pray whether you feel like it or not.
That’s love.
3. Presence
Love means spending time together.
Not just being physically together, but also being emotionally together.
That could mean a father playing with his kids. Or a daughter visiting her aging parents. Or siblings going shopping together. Or friends laughing over pizza. Or a couple taking a walk.
There’ll be times when you won’t feel like bonding together.
But you do it anyway. That’s love.
4. Touch
Love means physical affection.
One day, a couple walking to work noticed a man passionately kissing a woman. “Why don’t you do that?” said the wife.
“Honey,” replied her husband, “I don’t even know that woman!”
People aren’t machines. They need to be touched. Holding hands, pats on the back, shoulder rubs, hugs, and kisses nourish and heal people more than you can possibly imagine.
Again, there’ll be days when you don’t want to kiss or hold hands or hug. But you do it anyway. That’s love.
5. Words
Love means verbal or written expressions.
When was the last time you told your husband, “Thank you for working so hard for our family”? When was the last time you told your wife, “Thank you for being a great mother to our kids”? When was the last time you told your mother, “Thanks for serving me all these years”? And when was the last time you actually said, “I love you”?
You might argue with me and say, “Bo, I don’t want to be a hypocrite. When I say it, I must feel it.”
Here’s my question: Are you just your emotions?
Or are you much more than your emotions? Are you also your spirit, your soul, your mind, your imagination, your will?
6. Gifts
Love means giving tokens—or symbols of love.
To you, your gift may mean nothing. But to another person, a small, inexpensive gift from you could mean the world.
7. Boundaries
Love means respecting the boundaries of the other.
Love means giving space to the other and letting the other person grow on her own. Love also means letting the other face her own responsibilities.
I like it when my wife goes out with her girlfriends each week. I like it when she takes up other interests. I like it when she grows and flourishes as an individual. I like it when she tells me, “Bo, I need some alone time. I’ll just go window shopping for awhile.” So I pray over her, “Lord, I claim in faith that she’ll be faithful to those words, that she will indeed go ‘window’ shopping only. Thank you, Lord, for this miracle!”
Love Is Service
Many years ago, I met Alice, a Filipina teacher in Brunei.
She was my host and took care of me while I was there. When I woke up early one morning, I noticed that she was on the phone. But she wasn’t speaking.
She explained that it was her beautiful ritual of love to her husband. Years ago, her husband suffered a stroke and he became paralyzed. So she went to Brunei to work for the family.
And what was this ritual of love? Alice would wake up at 4 in the morning to call her husband. (This was before the days of cell phones and text messages.) But because they could not afford long distance calls, they agreed that the husband was not to answer the phone.
Instead, the husband would allow the phone to ring.
And ring.
And ring.
He would allow the love of Alice, symbolized by the ringing, to fill their house and to fill his heart.
For 8 years straight, Alice did this beautiful ritual without fail.
Until he finally passed away.
That’s what love is.
Not like feelings that come and go.
Not like moods that are here today and gone tomorrow.
Love is simply done, day in and day out.
Because it’s eternal.
Constant.
Faithful.
It was Mother Teresa who said, “Service is a fruit of love”.
If you love, you will serve.
Go now, and like Mother Teresa, dirty your hands.
May your dreams come true.
-end-
Baby, i dun mind if u grow fat in the future, have pimples all over ur face. I dun mind if u have bad habits. I dun mind right now, and i wont mind in the future. That's what i came up with after thinking under normal circumstances.
If its becos i've hurt u so much, i would gladly make things better for you, u know i can do it rite?
Yea i was lazy to care about ur feelings at times, that's why i'm realizing it now. They say Real Love can only start after one has “fallen out of love.”
Remembered when i got u back, whenever we quarreled, we always brought up the past to talk about. I kept asking and asking u not to bring up the past, but i failed to realized that there's always a reason why u brought it up. I was hard headed, and sub-consciously i guess i always wanted to win.
They say men are from mars and women are from venus. Women do things through feelings and men do things through logic. I should've put myself in ur shoes and see wat u're feeling baby.
Nothing is ever too late, just as long as i still love you... one day, maybe we can all start over. I promise, i swear, i'll talk with u everyday, accompany u whenever i can. Even if i can't, i'll make an effort to... No matter how lazy i would get. I'll review this blog i made and go straight to u and tell u once again just how much i love you so...
But ofcos, I guess it all depends if u would wanna come back.... sigh*
152 <3
Tuesday, 3 November 2009
New verse 3 - What am i hiding?
Had a very bad conversation with her yesterday. We quarreled over facebook. Imagine that =.=.
The problem with her is, she dun change at all. Instead of understanding and forgiving, she still think she's right all the time, scolding with vulgar words and stuff.
Read her blog too, but i guess i wont be anymore from today on. She seemed very happy, the way she blog also seemed very happy and everything. But i know her. (*i think)
Yea she's a sweet girl, but once things dun go her way. Watch out.
She said someone "sucks balls". I gotta say WOW! that's a new word. Guess the one not changing at all seems to be someone else. *sigh
I've gone through that, tried to settle it with her in a nice way before and it didn't worked out, guess she feels powerful when i'm like soft and tender, and i feel powerful when she's like soft and tender too. Something i think both of us should learn better.
I know, after all the things i put her through. Trying to change her bad habits aint working at all. When we're together, she dun usually say "fuck, suck" and other shits even when she's mad. Guess when u caged a tiger up too long, It'll go wild once u set it free.
Remembered the time when we're so in love, things seems to be working out just fine. We're willing to try to understand each other and work things out. We change for each other, trying to suppress those bad habits. But i guess i've made a mistake. I should've accepted it that way instead of changing it. So, i'm sorry i guess?
She forced herself to forget me for a month, while knowing that we should just sit down and work things out. I dunno wat to say to that actually. But i guess she dun love me? or maybe she wanted something new in life again. Leaving me was the right choice, she kept repeating to her self. But issit really?
I used to think, even until now, that letting her go was the right choice. But sometimes, i still think otherwise. Not all girls are like her, sticking with u everywhere u go, loyal, and loving. I know she's the best girlfriend i could ever had in life, just as long as i treated her with proper care.
I guess i wasn't mad reading her blog, but rather, sad and hurt.
In her mail, she said alot of "thank you", nice words and sounded very reasonable in a way. But after reading her blog, i'm beginning to think that she's still just the way she was. Just wilder.
Issit me or is she hiding something in her heart still? I just can't help but feel that way. Maybe i was too close with her for too long.
Well, i have something i've been hiding. No point saying it now, guess i'll just have to accept the fact that she's gone now.
Just 2 days ago, i had a chat with my fren. He said "u build a bridge hoping to cross it with her. Now that the bridge is finished, she's gonna cross with someone else", and he laughed.
I told him, I'm the one that build the bridge, i'm the one with the experience now, so maybe next time, i can build it faster and better and cross it with either her or someone else i love in the future ^^.
Had another chat with a fren today. He said "if you love her, u wished for her to be happy rite?" i answered "yes". Then he said, if she's not happy with you, what would you do? i answered "i'll change. just as long as she tell me the problems. as long as we get to sit down and talk it over properly, i'll do anything for her". Then he asked again "so what if after all the changes and she's still not happy?". I was speechless for awhile and below are my conclusion:
* Everyone change for the better. But if one changes and the others don't, it wont work. It require both to change, to think in a more mature way. Its called growing up together. If it doesn't work, means there's something wrong.
so what could it be?
Changes take place when one knows each other's mistakes and only after proper communication will changes be effective. Else, it wont... * -end-
They say when u're lazy, love fades. I admit, i was lazy. I used to love talking to u so much. Not being able to hear ur voice for a day, i'd die. But as time goes by, pressure started to build up, i'm concerned about the wedding i'm suppose to give u, concerned about the things i should've bought u, concerned about the promises that i've made. I kept all these to myself, hoping that u'll realise. I should've known better and just talk it out with you whenever we're together. Just like how u kept ur feelings to urself baby, u should've talked it out with me. If i aint serius, scold me and get me serius baby, cos i know u love me then. We could've been together for many more years to come, getting happier and happier if only we had communicated properly. Maybe its my fault, i'm the elder one, i should know better how i should communicate with you baby... I'm sorry.
If our communication after this break up will work out, will u come back then?
Baby, i really dun like it when u say those vulgar words when u're angry. I'd really prefer it if u could've just reason it out or at least try to control it? =). Not only will this benefit me, but urself as well. But no one is perfect like u said.
I guess I love the perfection of your imperfections.
152 <3
The problem with her is, she dun change at all. Instead of understanding and forgiving, she still think she's right all the time, scolding with vulgar words and stuff.
Read her blog too, but i guess i wont be anymore from today on. She seemed very happy, the way she blog also seemed very happy and everything. But i know her. (*i think)
Yea she's a sweet girl, but once things dun go her way. Watch out.
She said someone "sucks balls". I gotta say WOW! that's a new word. Guess the one not changing at all seems to be someone else. *sigh
I've gone through that, tried to settle it with her in a nice way before and it didn't worked out, guess she feels powerful when i'm like soft and tender, and i feel powerful when she's like soft and tender too. Something i think both of us should learn better.
I know, after all the things i put her through. Trying to change her bad habits aint working at all. When we're together, she dun usually say "fuck, suck" and other shits even when she's mad. Guess when u caged a tiger up too long, It'll go wild once u set it free.
Remembered the time when we're so in love, things seems to be working out just fine. We're willing to try to understand each other and work things out. We change for each other, trying to suppress those bad habits. But i guess i've made a mistake. I should've accepted it that way instead of changing it. So, i'm sorry i guess?
She forced herself to forget me for a month, while knowing that we should just sit down and work things out. I dunno wat to say to that actually. But i guess she dun love me? or maybe she wanted something new in life again. Leaving me was the right choice, she kept repeating to her self. But issit really?
I used to think, even until now, that letting her go was the right choice. But sometimes, i still think otherwise. Not all girls are like her, sticking with u everywhere u go, loyal, and loving. I know she's the best girlfriend i could ever had in life, just as long as i treated her with proper care.
I guess i wasn't mad reading her blog, but rather, sad and hurt.
In her mail, she said alot of "thank you", nice words and sounded very reasonable in a way. But after reading her blog, i'm beginning to think that she's still just the way she was. Just wilder.
Issit me or is she hiding something in her heart still? I just can't help but feel that way. Maybe i was too close with her for too long.
Well, i have something i've been hiding. No point saying it now, guess i'll just have to accept the fact that she's gone now.
Just 2 days ago, i had a chat with my fren. He said "u build a bridge hoping to cross it with her. Now that the bridge is finished, she's gonna cross with someone else", and he laughed.
I told him, I'm the one that build the bridge, i'm the one with the experience now, so maybe next time, i can build it faster and better and cross it with either her or someone else i love in the future ^^.
Had another chat with a fren today. He said "if you love her, u wished for her to be happy rite?" i answered "yes". Then he said, if she's not happy with you, what would you do? i answered "i'll change. just as long as she tell me the problems. as long as we get to sit down and talk it over properly, i'll do anything for her". Then he asked again "so what if after all the changes and she's still not happy?". I was speechless for awhile and below are my conclusion:
* Everyone change for the better. But if one changes and the others don't, it wont work. It require both to change, to think in a more mature way. Its called growing up together. If it doesn't work, means there's something wrong.
so what could it be?
Changes take place when one knows each other's mistakes and only after proper communication will changes be effective. Else, it wont... * -end-
They say when u're lazy, love fades. I admit, i was lazy. I used to love talking to u so much. Not being able to hear ur voice for a day, i'd die. But as time goes by, pressure started to build up, i'm concerned about the wedding i'm suppose to give u, concerned about the things i should've bought u, concerned about the promises that i've made. I kept all these to myself, hoping that u'll realise. I should've known better and just talk it out with you whenever we're together. Just like how u kept ur feelings to urself baby, u should've talked it out with me. If i aint serius, scold me and get me serius baby, cos i know u love me then. We could've been together for many more years to come, getting happier and happier if only we had communicated properly. Maybe its my fault, i'm the elder one, i should know better how i should communicate with you baby... I'm sorry.
If our communication after this break up will work out, will u come back then?
Baby, i really dun like it when u say those vulgar words when u're angry. I'd really prefer it if u could've just reason it out or at least try to control it? =). Not only will this benefit me, but urself as well. But no one is perfect like u said.
I guess I love the perfection of your imperfections.
152 <3
New verse 2 - Something i can learn from.
Sunday was suppose to be our day together as always, and i'm stucked at home wondering what she's doing =.= ironic how things turned out to be.
I decided to went to gym later that day around 2 pm. And on the way to gym there are 2 red cars that pass me by with the plate license number "152". I smiled, and gave a bit of laugh... what is god really trying to do to me?
The day passes with me finishing gym and staying home playing a game of "GO" with my fren.
This morning when i reached the office, my partner was using my pc, she opened up a website talking about some stories. She went off to her own pc and left the website open, so i went and read it. I got slapped on the face when i read the parts below:
Two Levels Of Acceptance
The first level of acceptance is tolerance.
The second level is appreciation.
Let me tell you a story.
Jean came up to me one day and said, “Bo, can I share something with you? My story might help women you talk to.”
Jean said that her husband is addicted to watching basketball. She told me that it drove her insane. “Brother Bo, there was a time when his passion for watching basketball made me so angry. I would nag him, I would throw pots and pans in his direction, I would hide the TV remote control—just so he can’t watch.”
She told him, “I think basketball has become your god. And the churches you attend are NBA, PBA, PBL, NCAA, and UAAP. All you talk about is basketball.” And her husband would answer back, “Foul yan.”
“But after a couple of years,” Jean said, “I just gave up. I realized that nothing was going to happen. That he will never change.”
That was the day when Jean began to tolerate her husband’s passion for basketball. Whenever she saw him sitting in front of the TV watching a game, she felt less irritation in her heart.
But one day, Jean had a bigger epiphany.
That fateful morning, Jean’s best friend called her up crying hysterically on the phone. Through many tears, she said that she discovered her husband was having an affair. After an hour of trying to comfort her, Jean’s friend said, “I wish my husband was like your husband, Jean—so faithful to you.”
That one sentence was like a slap on her face.
She woke up.
Jean realized she was blind to the great blessing that her husband was to her.
Because she was so focused on his basketball addiction, she never appreciated how faithful her husband was to her.
She also began to count the many ways he was a wonderful husband: He was hard-working, he loved the kids, he went with her to her prayer meetings, and he was sweet in his own manly, clumsy way.
Today, she sometimes joins him watching basketball.
She still doesn’t appreciate the game. She told her husband once, “Why don’t they just give one ball to each team?” But she enjoys being with her wonderful husband now.
That day, Jean moved from tolerance to appreciation.
And that was the day her marriage became very happy.
-end-
I've been trying to change my girl's temper so much that i didn't realise all her good points.
She was loyal, have a smile that would warm my heart for the whole year, funny in her own way, sweet, and loving.
So tell me, what is god really trying to do? Ask me to wait for her? Give me regrets? Ask me to learn from this?
They say god loves us in many ways and that what we wished for wholeheartedly he will fulfill it for us. So god, can i ask u for one wish? can i have her back..?
152 <3
I decided to went to gym later that day around 2 pm. And on the way to gym there are 2 red cars that pass me by with the plate license number "152". I smiled, and gave a bit of laugh... what is god really trying to do to me?
The day passes with me finishing gym and staying home playing a game of "GO" with my fren.
This morning when i reached the office, my partner was using my pc, she opened up a website talking about some stories. She went off to her own pc and left the website open, so i went and read it. I got slapped on the face when i read the parts below:
Two Levels Of Acceptance
The first level of acceptance is tolerance.
The second level is appreciation.
Let me tell you a story.
Jean came up to me one day and said, “Bo, can I share something with you? My story might help women you talk to.”
Jean said that her husband is addicted to watching basketball. She told me that it drove her insane. “Brother Bo, there was a time when his passion for watching basketball made me so angry. I would nag him, I would throw pots and pans in his direction, I would hide the TV remote control—just so he can’t watch.”
She told him, “I think basketball has become your god. And the churches you attend are NBA, PBA, PBL, NCAA, and UAAP. All you talk about is basketball.” And her husband would answer back, “Foul yan.”
“But after a couple of years,” Jean said, “I just gave up. I realized that nothing was going to happen. That he will never change.”
That was the day when Jean began to tolerate her husband’s passion for basketball. Whenever she saw him sitting in front of the TV watching a game, she felt less irritation in her heart.
But one day, Jean had a bigger epiphany.
That fateful morning, Jean’s best friend called her up crying hysterically on the phone. Through many tears, she said that she discovered her husband was having an affair. After an hour of trying to comfort her, Jean’s friend said, “I wish my husband was like your husband, Jean—so faithful to you.”
That one sentence was like a slap on her face.
She woke up.
Jean realized she was blind to the great blessing that her husband was to her.
Because she was so focused on his basketball addiction, she never appreciated how faithful her husband was to her.
She also began to count the many ways he was a wonderful husband: He was hard-working, he loved the kids, he went with her to her prayer meetings, and he was sweet in his own manly, clumsy way.
Today, she sometimes joins him watching basketball.
She still doesn’t appreciate the game. She told her husband once, “Why don’t they just give one ball to each team?” But she enjoys being with her wonderful husband now.
That day, Jean moved from tolerance to appreciation.
And that was the day her marriage became very happy.
-end-
I've been trying to change my girl's temper so much that i didn't realise all her good points.
She was loyal, have a smile that would warm my heart for the whole year, funny in her own way, sweet, and loving.
So tell me, what is god really trying to do? Ask me to wait for her? Give me regrets? Ask me to learn from this?
They say god loves us in many ways and that what we wished for wholeheartedly he will fulfill it for us. So god, can i ask u for one wish? can i have her back..?
152 <3
Sunday, 1 November 2009
New verse 1 - I'm missing you badly
Once upon a time, i used to have a great gf. She had a hard temper, a perfect smile, attractive eyes and an attitude that i wont get bored of.
Everytime she goes mad at something totally unreasonable, i would get pissed too. I guess both our tempers are bad. Being together is the last thing we should do. That's wat we all thought. But what about the good times?
When she cry, when she felt betrayed, i was there and it hurts me just as deeply. The hugs we gave each other that time is enuff to ease the pain eventho its only for awhile, giving it room to prepare for the fights ahead. The kisses that we gave was enuff to tell each other we'll be together for the rest of our life. Enough to let each other knows "I truely love you"
One day, she hurts me very bad and ask me to leave, so i left. When she wants me back, i told her i couldn't anymore, but i could've made the effort to. Just becos i thought she wont ever leave me... Just becos of that stupid thoughts, i hurt her deeply when all i really want was for her to be strong. I was too self-confident, too dumb.
I got caught up with work, with the thoughts of giving us a better future. But i never thought about what if i loose her.
Yes, i once had a great gf. She had a hard temper, a perfect smile, attractive eyes and an attitude that i wont get bored of. And she left me becos i couldn't understand her...
Its not that i dun understand her... but rather i failed to treat her the way i should. All becos i expected too much from her. All becos of my stupid self-centered ego.
Yes, we've hurt each other deeply before. That's why it'll be different this time around. But i guess there wont be a "this time around" anytime soon.
I'll always be here for her if she needed me again. As a fren / as a lover no one knows.
I'm missing her so badly right now, she told me she misses me from time to time, thinking twice about coming back. So why didn't she? she said its becos she don't want to be hurt again, don't want these never ending heartbreak, and seeing our never changing self, she got tired.
They say love is like picking a stone. She picked me and i picked her, this is fate. Then we started carving each other to become the shape that we want. Time and efforts are needed here, so we wont start carving unless we're sure this is the stone that we would want for the rest of our life.
She was the one i wanted for the rest of my life. There are alot of things that i regret doing. Specially leaving her at home alone while i was out. People make mistakes, and i've learnt from it so why wont she return? If no one was there to interrupt will she return then?
Yes, i once have a, in my eyes, a perfect gf. She had a hard temper, a perfect smile, attractive eyes and an attitude that i wont get bored of. And now she's gone...
-end-
I hope one day, our path will cross again.
Then i'll review this blog everyday, to remind myself just how important you are to me. Just how badly i needed u in my life so that i wont mistreat u ever again.
Everlasting - 152 <3 Baby Laopo.
Everytime she goes mad at something totally unreasonable, i would get pissed too. I guess both our tempers are bad. Being together is the last thing we should do. That's wat we all thought. But what about the good times?
When she cry, when she felt betrayed, i was there and it hurts me just as deeply. The hugs we gave each other that time is enuff to ease the pain eventho its only for awhile, giving it room to prepare for the fights ahead. The kisses that we gave was enuff to tell each other we'll be together for the rest of our life. Enough to let each other knows "I truely love you"
One day, she hurts me very bad and ask me to leave, so i left. When she wants me back, i told her i couldn't anymore, but i could've made the effort to. Just becos i thought she wont ever leave me... Just becos of that stupid thoughts, i hurt her deeply when all i really want was for her to be strong. I was too self-confident, too dumb.
I got caught up with work, with the thoughts of giving us a better future. But i never thought about what if i loose her.
Yes, i once had a great gf. She had a hard temper, a perfect smile, attractive eyes and an attitude that i wont get bored of. And she left me becos i couldn't understand her...
Its not that i dun understand her... but rather i failed to treat her the way i should. All becos i expected too much from her. All becos of my stupid self-centered ego.
Yes, we've hurt each other deeply before. That's why it'll be different this time around. But i guess there wont be a "this time around" anytime soon.
I'll always be here for her if she needed me again. As a fren / as a lover no one knows.
I'm missing her so badly right now, she told me she misses me from time to time, thinking twice about coming back. So why didn't she? she said its becos she don't want to be hurt again, don't want these never ending heartbreak, and seeing our never changing self, she got tired.
They say love is like picking a stone. She picked me and i picked her, this is fate. Then we started carving each other to become the shape that we want. Time and efforts are needed here, so we wont start carving unless we're sure this is the stone that we would want for the rest of our life.
She was the one i wanted for the rest of my life. There are alot of things that i regret doing. Specially leaving her at home alone while i was out. People make mistakes, and i've learnt from it so why wont she return? If no one was there to interrupt will she return then?
Yes, i once have a, in my eyes, a perfect gf. She had a hard temper, a perfect smile, attractive eyes and an attitude that i wont get bored of. And now she's gone...
-end-
I hope one day, our path will cross again.
Then i'll review this blog everyday, to remind myself just how important you are to me. Just how badly i needed u in my life so that i wont mistreat u ever again.
Everlasting - 152 <3 Baby Laopo.
Saturday, 31 October 2009
Never ending Verse
I thought i could get her back if i wanted to. I hesitate a lot of times, and sometimes i just stopped trying. But i never realized the result would be the same even if i tried.
Damn, can't believe i love her so much. For what? Wat good will it bring me?
A lot of times, i mistreated her. Never really been a good bf at all. The things i said, even tho i knew it was against her thoughts, i said it anyways. What was my aim anyways? why was i so dumb?
Remembered i said to never regret, to treat her good even tho she got a new guy. But i jst couldn't do it. Does that mean i'm useless? To forget her, i broke contact with her. I believe its the only way i could get my mind off her, but instead its the direct opposite. I'm sure i'll feel better soon... but when? Can't stop thinking about her. Can't stop thinking that i could've done so much better.
Why does she have to count the numbers of chances she gave me? If she loves me, why can't she forgive and forget? Why can't she just trust that i'll make everything alrite again?
She said she was tired so many times, i know, i know, i really know. But i want her to know that she wont feel this way this time around. I want her to know so badly that i tried going against her thoughts, her will...
How dumb can i get? =.=|| i only think properly when i wasn't in contact with her. Everytime we chat, talk and stuff, i tend to be very panic and rushing things... I dun know how she can just forget about me.
She told me she took a month to totally forget about me. FORCING herself to forget me... when she could've just gave me another chance to make her feel loved again.
Maybe this is for the better. That's what most people said. It might be true too. Maybe i'm just afraid. Afraid that i can't find someone like her again. Loyal, honest and true. Thoughts of getting cheated, not being able to find someone whom would give me chances again and again, stick with me everywhere i go.
I should've treasured her more... sigh****
Everytime she was mad, i know i should've hug her tight, kiss her and say nice words.
Everytime she was being unreasonable, i know i should've just smile and say i'm sorry.
Everytime she wanted something, i know i should've made the effort of getting it for her.
Everytime she is sad, i know i should've been by her side more.
Everytime she's out with me and my frens, i shouldn't had said anything that would put her mood down.
I guess its all too late now...
Maybe one day we'll be together again?
Most likely not when i found a new one i guess...
Either way, i know we both shouldn't regret the decisions made today.
We were so meant to be. She knows it, i knows it. Still, it ended up this way...
If only i did wat i should've done...
Come back baby, come back again... at least for awhile... to see the difference.
Guess she's just too afraid to be hurt again.
152 <3
Damn, can't believe i love her so much. For what? Wat good will it bring me?
A lot of times, i mistreated her. Never really been a good bf at all. The things i said, even tho i knew it was against her thoughts, i said it anyways. What was my aim anyways? why was i so dumb?
Remembered i said to never regret, to treat her good even tho she got a new guy. But i jst couldn't do it. Does that mean i'm useless? To forget her, i broke contact with her. I believe its the only way i could get my mind off her, but instead its the direct opposite. I'm sure i'll feel better soon... but when? Can't stop thinking about her. Can't stop thinking that i could've done so much better.
Why does she have to count the numbers of chances she gave me? If she loves me, why can't she forgive and forget? Why can't she just trust that i'll make everything alrite again?
She said she was tired so many times, i know, i know, i really know. But i want her to know that she wont feel this way this time around. I want her to know so badly that i tried going against her thoughts, her will...
How dumb can i get? =.=|| i only think properly when i wasn't in contact with her. Everytime we chat, talk and stuff, i tend to be very panic and rushing things... I dun know how she can just forget about me.
She told me she took a month to totally forget about me. FORCING herself to forget me... when she could've just gave me another chance to make her feel loved again.
Maybe this is for the better. That's what most people said. It might be true too. Maybe i'm just afraid. Afraid that i can't find someone like her again. Loyal, honest and true. Thoughts of getting cheated, not being able to find someone whom would give me chances again and again, stick with me everywhere i go.
I should've treasured her more... sigh****
Everytime she was mad, i know i should've hug her tight, kiss her and say nice words.
Everytime she was being unreasonable, i know i should've just smile and say i'm sorry.
Everytime she wanted something, i know i should've made the effort of getting it for her.
Everytime she is sad, i know i should've been by her side more.
Everytime she's out with me and my frens, i shouldn't had said anything that would put her mood down.
I guess its all too late now...
Maybe one day we'll be together again?
Most likely not when i found a new one i guess...
Either way, i know we both shouldn't regret the decisions made today.
We were so meant to be. She knows it, i knows it. Still, it ended up this way...
If only i did wat i should've done...
Come back baby, come back again... at least for awhile... to see the difference.
Guess she's just too afraid to be hurt again.
152 <3
Monday, 26 October 2009
Random Verse - This feeling is killing me
I know i said i'll not blog anymore, but dam, i really need to blog this out. I've been struggling over something recently or rather since 2 months ago. =.=
Sometimes i'm afraid, and sometimes i feel regrets. I dunno what to do, whether to get her back or not. Even if i wanna get her back, will she come back or not. Even if she come back, will we still be the same as before or not. All these random thoughts have been bugging me and its effecting the way i chat with her, treat her and everything.
Remember i mentioned a fren whom has problems with his gf? well, i asked him once "why are u so in love with you gf?" people always tends to say "i dunno" but that's not it. I believe that u love someone for a reason, its impossible that there's no reason behind it rite? some tend to say "everything about her" but still they complain certain things about her. But my fren said "i dunno, everything about her i guess, i love the way she call my name, i love the way she stick around, i jst felt like protecting her cos she's very vunerable"
I guess that would be my answer too. sigh*
I can't deny that i love her alot. Pictures that we took together still lingers with me. Remembered her mom wanted pictures of the 2 of us together, and we took it, edit it and printed it out. Are the pictures still with her? i can't tell. What is she thinking anyways? does she still misses me? does she still care about me?
Why do i love her so much when there're so much problems in between? I guess the reasons below are enuff to ignore all the problems and give me strenght to continue on with her:
. i love the way she call my name.
. i love the way she stick around all the time.
. i love the way she asked me to help her out with something.
. i love the way she smiles.
. i love the face she showed when she's done being mad at me.
. i love the way we kissed.
. i love the way we hug together.
. i love the face she showed when she sleeps.
. i guess, i love everything about her.
. She made me feel like protecting her for the rest of my life.
In reality, the phrase "i dunno why i love her" seems to derive becos the reasons that one person love someone is enough to cover up all problems between them.
Baby when are u coming back? Can't u see i'm in hell without you by my side? sigh* i guess i haven't really done anything to show how much i love her, my sincerity... Guess i'm still very uncertain what i should do.
To do, or not to do, that is the question... =.=
i love you baby,
152 <3
Sometimes i'm afraid, and sometimes i feel regrets. I dunno what to do, whether to get her back or not. Even if i wanna get her back, will she come back or not. Even if she come back, will we still be the same as before or not. All these random thoughts have been bugging me and its effecting the way i chat with her, treat her and everything.
Remember i mentioned a fren whom has problems with his gf? well, i asked him once "why are u so in love with you gf?" people always tends to say "i dunno" but that's not it. I believe that u love someone for a reason, its impossible that there's no reason behind it rite? some tend to say "everything about her" but still they complain certain things about her. But my fren said "i dunno, everything about her i guess, i love the way she call my name, i love the way she stick around, i jst felt like protecting her cos she's very vunerable"
I guess that would be my answer too. sigh*
I can't deny that i love her alot. Pictures that we took together still lingers with me. Remembered her mom wanted pictures of the 2 of us together, and we took it, edit it and printed it out. Are the pictures still with her? i can't tell. What is she thinking anyways? does she still misses me? does she still care about me?
Why do i love her so much when there're so much problems in between? I guess the reasons below are enuff to ignore all the problems and give me strenght to continue on with her:
. i love the way she call my name.
. i love the way she stick around all the time.
. i love the way she asked me to help her out with something.
. i love the way she smiles.
. i love the face she showed when she's done being mad at me.
. i love the way we kissed.
. i love the way we hug together.
. i love the face she showed when she sleeps.
. i guess, i love everything about her.
. She made me feel like protecting her for the rest of my life.
In reality, the phrase "i dunno why i love her" seems to derive becos the reasons that one person love someone is enough to cover up all problems between them.
Baby when are u coming back? Can't u see i'm in hell without you by my side? sigh* i guess i haven't really done anything to show how much i love her, my sincerity... Guess i'm still very uncertain what i should do.
To do, or not to do, that is the question... =.=
i love you baby,
152 <3
Tuesday, 20 October 2009
Final Verse - My choice
Its been i dunno how long since me and her broke up, seems to me that she's doing fine without me. Happier maybe? i'm glad to see that. I am still wondering until today if i could give her more happiness than now, but i guess i wouldn't know until we're back together again.
I felt like blogging this last post after so long. Things i've seen, things i've been through.
A fren of mine also had some problems with his gf, but i'm in no position to give advice i guess. Funny, i feel like blogging but i dun have words to say.
Baby, how've u been really? I miss u badly u know? Thought that keeping my distance from her is a good idea. But i guess it has a good and bad side to it. Now i dunno how to start a conversation with her. It'll be easier if she could just come back right now so i can give her a big hug.
Been flirting around lately, but all these are just temporary to get my mind off her =.= i guess. Even when flirting, i tend to hold back certain topics or words to say =.= hopeless*
Am i really fixated on one girl? what would happen if i got her back?
i dunno but i guess i've made my choice.
I love you baby
Can't believe i still do after all these time =.=
until my heart dies from this break up, only then will i be able to really flirt around. God knows when =.=||| sigh*
At last,
152 <3
Thanks peeps for tuning in...
I felt like blogging this last post after so long. Things i've seen, things i've been through.
A fren of mine also had some problems with his gf, but i'm in no position to give advice i guess. Funny, i feel like blogging but i dun have words to say.
Baby, how've u been really? I miss u badly u know? Thought that keeping my distance from her is a good idea. But i guess it has a good and bad side to it. Now i dunno how to start a conversation with her. It'll be easier if she could just come back right now so i can give her a big hug.
Been flirting around lately, but all these are just temporary to get my mind off her =.= i guess. Even when flirting, i tend to hold back certain topics or words to say =.= hopeless*
Am i really fixated on one girl? what would happen if i got her back?
i dunno but i guess i've made my choice.
I love you baby
Can't believe i still do after all these time =.=
until my heart dies from this break up, only then will i be able to really flirt around. God knows when =.=||| sigh*
At last,
152 <3
Thanks peeps for tuning in...
Thursday, 1 October 2009
Verse 15 - 15, 2 <3
I guess this is the final post, I've pretty much showed how much i love her, what i would do to have her back in my arms again, what i've realized from my mistakes and how i would change in this relationship again. If what she said is true, then with all these intentions, all these changes, maybe i still wont be the type of guy she wants to be with.
Verse 15, 15th was the date we got together, the 2 = february, it also means 2 person. It takes 2 to love and everything.
From today on, i'll focus alot on my objectives, my daily routine. I know, i might not get a chance to have her back, i might meet another girl in the future as well. But all in all, i'll love her till i can't love her anymore. I'll do wat i can to get her back until i can't anymore.
Dunno when will i finally let go or give up but hey, at least i tried my best rite? ^^
I've learnt alot of my mistakes, if she's not the one i can change for then at least i'll get to treat my future girl rite, rite?
I understand that its good to take time apart, i know, so i'll do wat i can till she comes back, IF she comes back. ^^ in the mean time, i'll try to be a fren she wants me to be. I'll try my best to be there when she really needs me... hope she still need me =(
I've never thought this break up was proper, but she does have a point. Why be with a person whom u dun love anymore rite? but i thought "love" can slowly develope? We've been together for 3 and a half years, i should be able to bring it back rite? i hope so...
I dunno, but whatever the answer is, its fated i guess.
I asked her out for a movie on friday/tuesday. She replied saying that she promised someone to go out on friday already. I didn't mentioned "what about tuesday" tho, maybe i was just too depressed? i dunno...
Anyways, here are my last words:
To baby,
Thanks baby, the past 3 years plus had really been a memorable moments and a dream come true as well. We shared alot of feelings together, feelings that mostly we've never experienced before. We took Lust, hate, love, pain, joy, deception, betrayal, lies and forgiveness to the next level didn't we?
Remembered what i said before? You're god's gift for me, and well, i guess i failed to treasure u more than i should. I'm sorry baby... sorry that i failed to make u feel the way u should be feeling, sorry that i failed to make u one of the luckiest girl.
I guess i've finally understood ur feelings now. How painful u must've felt when the person u love aint the one picking u up to school and back, when the person u love is spending more time with frens than with u...
I could have realized earlier that all u want is me by ur side most of the time. sharing with you your problems and also giving u the warmth that u should be feeling.
I know i'm not a very good bf to you for the past years and i hope i'll get the chance to make it up to you someday.
Like i've said before, i've really learnt my lesson le. I know what i should do when u're angry, down or emotional... I just wished you could see it.
Regrets aint gonna do any good, so i wont regret. I'll do a better job next time around.
Till the end, I love you baby laopo <3
p/s: oh yea, i'm still using the cup u gave me ^^ and i'm glad u like the ring.
152 <3
-end-
Verse 15, 15th was the date we got together, the 2 = february, it also means 2 person. It takes 2 to love and everything.
From today on, i'll focus alot on my objectives, my daily routine. I know, i might not get a chance to have her back, i might meet another girl in the future as well. But all in all, i'll love her till i can't love her anymore. I'll do wat i can to get her back until i can't anymore.
Dunno when will i finally let go or give up but hey, at least i tried my best rite? ^^
I've learnt alot of my mistakes, if she's not the one i can change for then at least i'll get to treat my future girl rite, rite?
I understand that its good to take time apart, i know, so i'll do wat i can till she comes back, IF she comes back. ^^ in the mean time, i'll try to be a fren she wants me to be. I'll try my best to be there when she really needs me... hope she still need me =(
I've never thought this break up was proper, but she does have a point. Why be with a person whom u dun love anymore rite? but i thought "love" can slowly develope? We've been together for 3 and a half years, i should be able to bring it back rite? i hope so...
I dunno, but whatever the answer is, its fated i guess.
I asked her out for a movie on friday/tuesday. She replied saying that she promised someone to go out on friday already. I didn't mentioned "what about tuesday" tho, maybe i was just too depressed? i dunno...
Anyways, here are my last words:
To baby,
Thanks baby, the past 3 years plus had really been a memorable moments and a dream come true as well. We shared alot of feelings together, feelings that mostly we've never experienced before. We took Lust, hate, love, pain, joy, deception, betrayal, lies and forgiveness to the next level didn't we?
Remembered what i said before? You're god's gift for me, and well, i guess i failed to treasure u more than i should. I'm sorry baby... sorry that i failed to make u feel the way u should be feeling, sorry that i failed to make u one of the luckiest girl.
I guess i've finally understood ur feelings now. How painful u must've felt when the person u love aint the one picking u up to school and back, when the person u love is spending more time with frens than with u...
I could have realized earlier that all u want is me by ur side most of the time. sharing with you your problems and also giving u the warmth that u should be feeling.
I know i'm not a very good bf to you for the past years and i hope i'll get the chance to make it up to you someday.
Like i've said before, i've really learnt my lesson le. I know what i should do when u're angry, down or emotional... I just wished you could see it.
Regrets aint gonna do any good, so i wont regret. I'll do a better job next time around.
Till the end, I love you baby laopo <3
p/s: oh yea, i'm still using the cup u gave me ^^ and i'm glad u like the ring.
152 <3
-end-
Verse 14 - Kinda hurts
Today is great, i'm at ease doing my work and i have proper planning now. All i had to do is follow it, though something came up that got my mood all down and all =.=
I got to chat with her again today. She find me... *aint good*. She started yapping about not wanting to be friends with me anymore if i asked her frens to help me get her back. Oh well...
I remembered talking to one of her fren, he said that she's been wearing the ring i gave her. I thought maybe there's some meaning behind it? i dunno... so i kinda asked him to find out. But, things turned out just as i expected. She made it clear to me just now saying that she only wore it cos it look nice. =.= i understand... it does look nice.
Kinda hurt abit, but its alrite, compare to what i've put her through, i guess its nothing. Dunno if its the morning mood or wat, but i'm kinda calm when dealing with her, heh... i guess i really know her too well.
Overall today was alrite aside from that little pain. Was planning to go gym but, i forgot to bring my stuff =.=. Oh yea, i think i've started to move on in a way. Though i still love her alot, i guess wanting her back is not the 1st priority anymore. After all those things she said, like "i no more feel for you" and stuff, i'm really begining to think that its true, and whatever i do is kinda hopeless. But i'll still try i guess, until i finally give up. Shouldn't be hard if she keep hurting me unintentionally. I'm actually getting use to the pain now, just as she got used to the pain when she was with me? I know, i might say it today, and forget about it tomorrow =.=
Maybe her fren is rite, neglecting her must be more hurtful than scolding her. Ah well, just let her be i guess.
Baby, i dunno if we'll ever be together again. If i'll be able to show u just how much this relationship has changed. But whatever the end result might be, i wont have any regrets anymore, cos at least i know we've once loved each other wholeheartedly...
152 <3
I got to chat with her again today. She find me... *aint good*. She started yapping about not wanting to be friends with me anymore if i asked her frens to help me get her back. Oh well...
I remembered talking to one of her fren, he said that she's been wearing the ring i gave her. I thought maybe there's some meaning behind it? i dunno... so i kinda asked him to find out. But, things turned out just as i expected. She made it clear to me just now saying that she only wore it cos it look nice. =.= i understand... it does look nice.
Kinda hurt abit, but its alrite, compare to what i've put her through, i guess its nothing. Dunno if its the morning mood or wat, but i'm kinda calm when dealing with her, heh... i guess i really know her too well.
Overall today was alrite aside from that little pain. Was planning to go gym but, i forgot to bring my stuff =.=. Oh yea, i think i've started to move on in a way. Though i still love her alot, i guess wanting her back is not the 1st priority anymore. After all those things she said, like "i no more feel for you" and stuff, i'm really begining to think that its true, and whatever i do is kinda hopeless. But i'll still try i guess, until i finally give up. Shouldn't be hard if she keep hurting me unintentionally. I'm actually getting use to the pain now, just as she got used to the pain when she was with me? I know, i might say it today, and forget about it tomorrow =.=
Maybe her fren is rite, neglecting her must be more hurtful than scolding her. Ah well, just let her be i guess.
Baby, i dunno if we'll ever be together again. If i'll be able to show u just how much this relationship has changed. But whatever the end result might be, i wont have any regrets anymore, cos at least i know we've once loved each other wholeheartedly...
152 <3
Wednesday, 30 September 2009
Verse 13 - Forgive me
HOT day today =.=, work ain't that stressing anymore, finally got everything organized.
Today's topic "forgive me"
I never fail to think about her everyday when we're together or when we're apart. Seriusly, when i was neglecting her, i was also thinking of her tho not as much. Today i thought about how i always let other ppl pick her up and bring her everywhere. When i'm in the office working. Even tho i know that i can finished my work on time, even tho i knew that i should've spent at least a little time with her, it'll make her happy, i didn't... Really, i should've done better than that *sigh*
I was told by her today that i am a boring friend. Gotta admit that. I've been asking questions which i already knew the answer to. Tho the beginning was a nice chat. She was angry becos my sister said something again this time. Oh well, what happened, happened u know, nothing much i can do about it cept to make it better in the future.
Anyways, back to where she said i'm a boring friend. I dunno how to treat her as just a friend after 3 years plus of being together and everything. She should have known. All i know is how to treat her as someone i love alot. How to treat her good and how i can take care of her and stuff.. oh well.
Today i've stopped calling her "baby" when we're chatting. I heard that she doesn't like it when i call her that, since we're not together and all. I guess i should respect that. I hope its alrite to call her baby here tho, since she wont know, i guess it wouldn't hurt. Its hard really, there are times when i wanna call out "baby" but i had to pull back my hands and stuff just so i can think before i type anything =.=|||
Anyway, the topic today is just as it says:
Baby, forgive me for the times i've hurt you.
Forgive me for the times i left u alone.
Forgive me for the times i wasn't there when u needed me.
Forgive me for being a jerk sometimes.
Forgive me for always wanting to win in a quarrel with you.
Forgive me for not being considerate.
Forgive me for not being understanding.
Forgive me for my lack of care for you.
Forgive me for making you doubt me.
Forgive me for not taking what u said seriusly sometimes.
and most of all,
Forgive me baby, for always realizing only when its too late.
I love you...
152 <3
Today's topic "forgive me"
I never fail to think about her everyday when we're together or when we're apart. Seriusly, when i was neglecting her, i was also thinking of her tho not as much. Today i thought about how i always let other ppl pick her up and bring her everywhere. When i'm in the office working. Even tho i know that i can finished my work on time, even tho i knew that i should've spent at least a little time with her, it'll make her happy, i didn't... Really, i should've done better than that *sigh*
I was told by her today that i am a boring friend. Gotta admit that. I've been asking questions which i already knew the answer to. Tho the beginning was a nice chat. She was angry becos my sister said something again this time. Oh well, what happened, happened u know, nothing much i can do about it cept to make it better in the future.
Anyways, back to where she said i'm a boring friend. I dunno how to treat her as just a friend after 3 years plus of being together and everything. She should have known. All i know is how to treat her as someone i love alot. How to treat her good and how i can take care of her and stuff.. oh well.
Today i've stopped calling her "baby" when we're chatting. I heard that she doesn't like it when i call her that, since we're not together and all. I guess i should respect that. I hope its alrite to call her baby here tho, since she wont know, i guess it wouldn't hurt. Its hard really, there are times when i wanna call out "baby" but i had to pull back my hands and stuff just so i can think before i type anything =.=|||
Anyway, the topic today is just as it says:
Baby, forgive me for the times i've hurt you.
Forgive me for the times i left u alone.
Forgive me for the times i wasn't there when u needed me.
Forgive me for being a jerk sometimes.
Forgive me for always wanting to win in a quarrel with you.
Forgive me for not being considerate.
Forgive me for not being understanding.
Forgive me for my lack of care for you.
Forgive me for making you doubt me.
Forgive me for not taking what u said seriusly sometimes.
and most of all,
Forgive me baby, for always realizing only when its too late.
I love you...
152 <3
Tuesday, 29 September 2009
Verse 12 - Loving is forgiving
Funny how i never thought of this word before "loving is forgiving". Everytime i quarrel with her, i always thought that she wasn't understanding and everything, that i never realized that i should just let her win since she's the one i love so much. They say relationships are never fair, u must let the girl win, becos u love her. I guess i was really too focus on being "fair" that i didn't realize that all she hoped for is just for me to shut the hell up and hug her...
Today was a fine day overall aside from the little chat with her. I reached home early, the way she wanted, and deleted wat she told me to... i guess i've really calmed down and realized what my real objectives are.
My Objectives:
1. she's the only person i'll love, and if i have to give her up just so she'll be happy, i'll do so even if it's the hardest thing to do.
2. i've gotta concerntrate on my career nevertheless, just in case when she comes back, i'll have the ability to take care of her, to get her wat she wanted.
3. i'm to become the most understanding, the most caring future husband.
well... i guess that is it.
baby, dun worry anymore, i know what u mean when u say u no feel for me le...
i guess there's nothing much i can do,
I hope u'll come back again baby laopo...
152 <3
Today was a fine day overall aside from the little chat with her. I reached home early, the way she wanted, and deleted wat she told me to... i guess i've really calmed down and realized what my real objectives are.
My Objectives:
1. she's the only person i'll love, and if i have to give her up just so she'll be happy, i'll do so even if it's the hardest thing to do.
2. i've gotta concerntrate on my career nevertheless, just in case when she comes back, i'll have the ability to take care of her, to get her wat she wanted.
3. i'm to become the most understanding, the most caring future husband.
well... i guess that is it.
baby, dun worry anymore, i know what u mean when u say u no feel for me le...
i guess there's nothing much i can do,
I hope u'll come back again baby laopo...
152 <3
Verse 11 - Pain i deserved
Chatted with her today, about something she wants me to delete. She said that since we're not together anymore, better just delete it.
At one point, i hesitated cos i was thinking, what if we got together again? But i guess in the end, i ended up deleting it =.=.
We had yet another painful conversation today. Well, painful for me anyways. I saw it coming actually, guess i deserve it too after all the things i've put her through. heh, this reminds me of the song by Akon - Be with you "and no one knows the things we've been through, can never measure up to half of what i put u through".
She said she dun feel for me anymore, that she's not happy with me, that our personalities aren't matching, and a whole bunch of other stuff. I dunno what i can reply her... so maybe here i can say it?
We've been together for 3 years plus just to say we aren't meant for each other.
The person who made you cry, is the one that can make you laugh again.
The person who made you laugh is the one that can give u happiness.
We've been through so much, changed so much, just so that in the end, we can give up and say we dun match...
I understand that she's tired u know... tired of worrying tired of being hurt.
Would i really do those to the person i love most intentionally?
In the conversation between me and her, i can feel that she's very angry at me. Enuff to say that she hates me for treating her the way i did.
At the same time, maybe, angry at me for always noticing only when its too late...
I dunno what else to say, i dunno how else i can convince her to come back this time around. I really wanted to show her what our new relationship will be like. I really wanted to make everything up to her again.
Its like, what i say, it doesn't get through to her. Understandable really. Before i chase her back that time, i told her that things would be different, i dunno maybe to her things are still the same? But i never bought anyone a ring before u know, this might be a tiny prove that things aren't the same as before rite?
I dunno to her a ring has what meaning in it, but to me its something so important that i would never thought of buying for anyone other then the one i wanna spent my life taking care of... haii... baby, where are u now? =(
She keeps saying that she dun have the feel towards me anymore. That i'm not the type of guy she wants to be with. But we've been together for 3 years plus just to end up here today saying all these.... *sigh* She even told me that she likes someone else already and asked me to move on.... =(
It hurts really, hurts alot... but what can i do? i dun have the rights to complain since this all started becos of me. I know i've hurt her quite deep by neglecting her, maybe this is punishment then? i dunno...
If this really is punishment, i would gladly take all the pain for myself if she would come back in the end...
baby, how i miss u so...
152 <3
At one point, i hesitated cos i was thinking, what if we got together again? But i guess in the end, i ended up deleting it =.=.
We had yet another painful conversation today. Well, painful for me anyways. I saw it coming actually, guess i deserve it too after all the things i've put her through. heh, this reminds me of the song by Akon - Be with you "and no one knows the things we've been through, can never measure up to half of what i put u through".
She said she dun feel for me anymore, that she's not happy with me, that our personalities aren't matching, and a whole bunch of other stuff. I dunno what i can reply her... so maybe here i can say it?
We've been together for 3 years plus just to say we aren't meant for each other.
The person who made you cry, is the one that can make you laugh again.
The person who made you laugh is the one that can give u happiness.
We've been through so much, changed so much, just so that in the end, we can give up and say we dun match...
I understand that she's tired u know... tired of worrying tired of being hurt.
Would i really do those to the person i love most intentionally?
In the conversation between me and her, i can feel that she's very angry at me. Enuff to say that she hates me for treating her the way i did.
At the same time, maybe, angry at me for always noticing only when its too late...
I dunno what else to say, i dunno how else i can convince her to come back this time around. I really wanted to show her what our new relationship will be like. I really wanted to make everything up to her again.
Its like, what i say, it doesn't get through to her. Understandable really. Before i chase her back that time, i told her that things would be different, i dunno maybe to her things are still the same? But i never bought anyone a ring before u know, this might be a tiny prove that things aren't the same as before rite?
I dunno to her a ring has what meaning in it, but to me its something so important that i would never thought of buying for anyone other then the one i wanna spent my life taking care of... haii... baby, where are u now? =(
She keeps saying that she dun have the feel towards me anymore. That i'm not the type of guy she wants to be with. But we've been together for 3 years plus just to end up here today saying all these.... *sigh* She even told me that she likes someone else already and asked me to move on.... =(
It hurts really, hurts alot... but what can i do? i dun have the rights to complain since this all started becos of me. I know i've hurt her quite deep by neglecting her, maybe this is punishment then? i dunno...
If this really is punishment, i would gladly take all the pain for myself if she would come back in the end...
baby, how i miss u so...
152 <3
Monday, 28 September 2009
Verse 10 - Everywhere i go...
Its gonna be another short post again today. Woke up around 10 and had to send my grandma to a salon. At 12, me and my fren went to the gym. Today was a long workout till 4pm. Did some treadmill, situps, chest workout and swimming.
Funny how small the world is. Today at gym, i bump into my collegue who worked with me at a cyber cafe in the past. She sure had slim down =.=, and i'm still.... well... still me =.=|||. Just found out that she joined a member with the gym today. I guess i wont have to depend on my fren for company anymore ^^.
I've never liked going to gym alone, and i never did went alone before, so before i go to gym, i'll have to check with my fren to see if he's up for it. Like i said, guess not anymore ^^.
After gym, we went to GIANT supermarket, and BOOM =.= i thought of her again. Its like everywhere i go, i'll sure think of her... We've been to GIANT together and it was like, well, husband and wife, shopping for some stuff and sometimes, it was like bf and gf going here and there, doesn't matter as long as we're together... =.= missed her so much *sigh*
After GIANT, we went to HUA HO, and there it is again, an image of her by my side, clinging to me at all time. *sigh* i really wish i had her right there and then. I would get her watever she wanted this time for sure.
When i thought back, i really negelected her alot =.= no wonder she's so pissed off, or her feelings fade, watever, guess i wasn't really being a bf at all.
There are stuff which she wanted but, its either i really couldn't get it for her, or i'm lazy to get it for her =.=... But hey, dun blame me yet u know, cos i was really saving up for her ring. One by one la.... haiii... i'm not a millionaire yet u know.
I've told her alot of times that i'll get her wat she wanted, and it never delivers. No wonder she left =.=
I haven't been chatting with her recently, i dunno, i just dunno what to say. I'm afraid that if i chat with her all the time, she'll treat me more and more as a fren, and maybe she wont even miss me at all =.=.
Oh yea, today is sunday. *sigh* its suppose to be our day together...
Ah well, i dunno whatelse i can say but i love her more than anything.
152 <3
Funny how small the world is. Today at gym, i bump into my collegue who worked with me at a cyber cafe in the past. She sure had slim down =.=, and i'm still.... well... still me =.=|||. Just found out that she joined a member with the gym today. I guess i wont have to depend on my fren for company anymore ^^.
I've never liked going to gym alone, and i never did went alone before, so before i go to gym, i'll have to check with my fren to see if he's up for it. Like i said, guess not anymore ^^.
After gym, we went to GIANT supermarket, and BOOM =.= i thought of her again. Its like everywhere i go, i'll sure think of her... We've been to GIANT together and it was like, well, husband and wife, shopping for some stuff and sometimes, it was like bf and gf going here and there, doesn't matter as long as we're together... =.= missed her so much *sigh*
After GIANT, we went to HUA HO, and there it is again, an image of her by my side, clinging to me at all time. *sigh* i really wish i had her right there and then. I would get her watever she wanted this time for sure.
When i thought back, i really negelected her alot =.= no wonder she's so pissed off, or her feelings fade, watever, guess i wasn't really being a bf at all.
There are stuff which she wanted but, its either i really couldn't get it for her, or i'm lazy to get it for her =.=... But hey, dun blame me yet u know, cos i was really saving up for her ring. One by one la.... haiii... i'm not a millionaire yet u know.
I've told her alot of times that i'll get her wat she wanted, and it never delivers. No wonder she left =.=
I haven't been chatting with her recently, i dunno, i just dunno what to say. I'm afraid that if i chat with her all the time, she'll treat me more and more as a fren, and maybe she wont even miss me at all =.=.
Oh yea, today is sunday. *sigh* its suppose to be our day together...
Ah well, i dunno whatelse i can say but i love her more than anything.
152 <3
Sunday, 27 September 2009
Verse 9 - Hao ma?
Today was a fine day for me i guess. Xing li you yi dian shuan shuan de gan jue... dun ask me why =.=
Its gonna be a very short post today tho, since i've already made up my mind on what i should do before and after.
Just wanna have the chance to say this to her, but i guess its still a long way to go:
"Baby, dui bu chi, wo shang hai dau ni, shean zai, ni yea shang hai dau wo ler... ta ping ba hao ma? ba yi chian de dou wang le ta, wo men chong xin lai guo hao ma?"
Oh well, saying it out here is better then saying it to her right now =.= at least my blog wont reject me =.=|||
So, what have i learn today?
Well, only one thing tho, know how to differs between her joke and seriusness =.=... it can be quite confusing sometimes. Sometimes her joke aint really a joke and if you find that out, its gonna hurt. *sigh* BUT that goes the same for me too i suppose... lol... fair la.. haii =.=
When are u coming back baby?
*silences*
152 <3
Its gonna be a very short post today tho, since i've already made up my mind on what i should do before and after.
Just wanna have the chance to say this to her, but i guess its still a long way to go:
"Baby, dui bu chi, wo shang hai dau ni, shean zai, ni yea shang hai dau wo ler... ta ping ba hao ma? ba yi chian de dou wang le ta, wo men chong xin lai guo hao ma?"
Oh well, saying it out here is better then saying it to her right now =.= at least my blog wont reject me =.=|||
So, what have i learn today?
Well, only one thing tho, know how to differs between her joke and seriusness =.=... it can be quite confusing sometimes. Sometimes her joke aint really a joke and if you find that out, its gonna hurt. *sigh* BUT that goes the same for me too i suppose... lol... fair la.. haii =.=
When are u coming back baby?
*silences*
152 <3
Saturday, 26 September 2009
Verse 8 - Finally cried
I was randomly thinking about stuff just now, and tears just rushed down my cheeks. I have no idea why, maybe becos of all the pressure i had.
I was thinking, did baby felt this way too?
All the work i've been doing + the feeling of not having my baby around + the feeling of chasing back my baby + i dunno.. alot of other things.
Now i know what it felt like when she needed me and i wasn't there.
How i wish she was here now to share these feelings of mine...
Everything's in a mess, work is a mess, its giving me pressure, my love life is a mess, she's not here to support me, all she wants is freedom right now, i couldn't give up on her, but she's already saying that she dun love me, she wanted to be single and that she wasn't thinking of me at all and stuff. What should i do really? i dunno, i've never cried this hard in my life for quite sometimes now... Everything is just so wrong.
I recalled the day when she said i was lying to her. I didn't lie, i really did left my car keys in my fren's car and was waiting for him to turn around in a shopping complex near by. But i dun blame her for doubting me cos i know she loves me alot. Too much that got her so scared of loosing me. I understand those feelings and i should really let her enjoy herself right now and treat her better if there ever was a time we're together again.
The reasons for my tears are really unknown to me. I guess i need time alone to organize things again. Its really suffocating and i dun think i've ever experienced this feeling before.
Right now the only person i wan by my side is already gone, i guess i had to imagine she was here just to comfort myself... *sigh* really *sigh*....
Somehow i had the feeling that i dun have any chance in getting her back anymore. Are all the things that me and her been through going down the dump? i dunno, i dun wish to think further, maybe this is one cause of my tears, but wtheck, i dun wanna think further...
I felt very "bu gan yen" sometimes, but a girl once told me "ni yao bu gan yen hai shi ni yao ai ta?"... ofcos wo ai ta...
And a different girl told me "ru guo ta zhen de ai ni de hua, ta bu ying gai wei le zhe zian xiao shi ching er li kai ni", but this girl didn't know how wrong i was 1st...
haiii.... i really dunno what the hell i'm talking about, what my main point was to all this. I guess this is it for now... I feel alot better as usual blogging it out.
152 <3
I was thinking, did baby felt this way too?
All the work i've been doing + the feeling of not having my baby around + the feeling of chasing back my baby + i dunno.. alot of other things.
Now i know what it felt like when she needed me and i wasn't there.
How i wish she was here now to share these feelings of mine...
Everything's in a mess, work is a mess, its giving me pressure, my love life is a mess, she's not here to support me, all she wants is freedom right now, i couldn't give up on her, but she's already saying that she dun love me, she wanted to be single and that she wasn't thinking of me at all and stuff. What should i do really? i dunno, i've never cried this hard in my life for quite sometimes now... Everything is just so wrong.
I recalled the day when she said i was lying to her. I didn't lie, i really did left my car keys in my fren's car and was waiting for him to turn around in a shopping complex near by. But i dun blame her for doubting me cos i know she loves me alot. Too much that got her so scared of loosing me. I understand those feelings and i should really let her enjoy herself right now and treat her better if there ever was a time we're together again.
The reasons for my tears are really unknown to me. I guess i need time alone to organize things again. Its really suffocating and i dun think i've ever experienced this feeling before.
Right now the only person i wan by my side is already gone, i guess i had to imagine she was here just to comfort myself... *sigh* really *sigh*....
Somehow i had the feeling that i dun have any chance in getting her back anymore. Are all the things that me and her been through going down the dump? i dunno, i dun wish to think further, maybe this is one cause of my tears, but wtheck, i dun wanna think further...
I felt very "bu gan yen" sometimes, but a girl once told me "ni yao bu gan yen hai shi ni yao ai ta?"... ofcos wo ai ta...
And a different girl told me "ru guo ta zhen de ai ni de hua, ta bu ying gai wei le zhe zian xiao shi ching er li kai ni", but this girl didn't know how wrong i was 1st...
haiii.... i really dunno what the hell i'm talking about, what my main point was to all this. I guess this is it for now... I feel alot better as usual blogging it out.
152 <3
Verse 7 - Me1 and Me2 (crazy)
I was thinking to myself, will i ever get another chance?
I mean i've realized that i've hurt her, but hey, why couldn't she trust me a little while longer... *sigh*
Me1: If i had another chance, i'll make everything rite.
Me2: That's what u said the last time, look at what happened?
Me1: I know, i know, but this time its different.
Me2: U said that the last time too.
Me1: I dunno what to say...
Me2: I'm sorry but i guess u're not getting ur chance.
Me1: ..... maybe, but i'll try no matter what. I know somehow that last time i did change and i got knock off track again that's all.
Me2: What if the same thing happens this time?
Me1: It wont, i'll make sure it wont.
Me2: U said that the last timeeee...
Me1: I know, i know, i can't guarantee that we'll not quarrel in the future, but i'll let her win at times... i know what i should do, and i really have learn my mistakes. So please, give me one more chance.
Me2: Oh wtheck, i'm not the one whom's gonna give u another chance u know, just make sure u treat her well if u ever got her back.
Me1: =.= ........... *sigh*
Me1: That i can promise you. I hope she'll come back and see the difference this time around.
I know i'm going crazy, listen to the songs below u'll know =.=|||
I believe that if my heart for her is true, one day she'll come back..
What if she doesn't u say?
Well, i've never thought of that before... I guess i'll never think about it. Getting her back is what i want. There should be no negative thinking i guess...
Anyways, here are 2 songs that describe what i'm feeling these days. Both are by N'sync.
"Thinking of you"
Lying in your arms
So close together
Didnt know just what I had
Now I toss and turn
Cause Im without you
How Im missing you so bad
Where was my head?
Where was my heart?
Now I cry alone in the dark
I lay awake
I drive myself crazy
Drive myself crazy
Thinking of you
Made a mistake
When I let you go baby
I drive myself crazy
Wanting you the way that I do
I was such a fool
I couldnt see it
Just how good you were to me
You confessed your love
Undying devotion
I confessed my need to be free
And now Im left
With all this pain
I only got myself to blame
(chorus)
Why didnt I know
(how much I loved you baby)
Why couldnt show it
(if I had only told you)
When I had the chance
Oh I had the chance
"This i Promise you"
When the visions around you,
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surround you,
Are secrets and lies
I'll be your strength,
I'll give you hope,
Keeping your faith when it's gone
The one you should call,
Was standing here all along..
And I will take
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you
I've loved you forever,
In lifetimes before
And I promise you never...
Will you hurt anymore
I give you my word
I give you my heart (give you my heart)
This is a battle we've won
And with this vow,
Forever has now begun...
Just close your eyes (close your eyes)
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you..
This I promise you..
Over and over I fall (over and over I fall)
When I hear you call
Without you in my life baby
I just wouldn't be living at all...
And I will take (I will take you in my arms)
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong (right where you belong)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you baby
Just close your eyes
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Every word I say is true
This I promise you
Every word I say is true
This I promise you
Ooh, I promise you...
Come back soon baby....
152 <3
I mean i've realized that i've hurt her, but hey, why couldn't she trust me a little while longer... *sigh*
Me1: If i had another chance, i'll make everything rite.
Me2: That's what u said the last time, look at what happened?
Me1: I know, i know, but this time its different.
Me2: U said that the last time too.
Me1: I dunno what to say...
Me2: I'm sorry but i guess u're not getting ur chance.
Me1: ..... maybe, but i'll try no matter what. I know somehow that last time i did change and i got knock off track again that's all.
Me2: What if the same thing happens this time?
Me1: It wont, i'll make sure it wont.
Me2: U said that the last timeeee...
Me1: I know, i know, i can't guarantee that we'll not quarrel in the future, but i'll let her win at times... i know what i should do, and i really have learn my mistakes. So please, give me one more chance.
Me2: Oh wtheck, i'm not the one whom's gonna give u another chance u know, just make sure u treat her well if u ever got her back.
Me1: =.= ........... *sigh*
Me1: That i can promise you. I hope she'll come back and see the difference this time around.
I know i'm going crazy, listen to the songs below u'll know =.=|||
I believe that if my heart for her is true, one day she'll come back..
What if she doesn't u say?
Well, i've never thought of that before... I guess i'll never think about it. Getting her back is what i want. There should be no negative thinking i guess...
Anyways, here are 2 songs that describe what i'm feeling these days. Both are by N'sync.
"Thinking of you"
Lying in your arms
So close together
Didnt know just what I had
Now I toss and turn
Cause Im without you
How Im missing you so bad
Where was my head?
Where was my heart?
Now I cry alone in the dark
I lay awake
I drive myself crazy
Drive myself crazy
Thinking of you
Made a mistake
When I let you go baby
I drive myself crazy
Wanting you the way that I do
I was such a fool
I couldnt see it
Just how good you were to me
You confessed your love
Undying devotion
I confessed my need to be free
And now Im left
With all this pain
I only got myself to blame
(chorus)
Why didnt I know
(how much I loved you baby)
Why couldnt show it
(if I had only told you)
When I had the chance
Oh I had the chance
"This i Promise you"
When the visions around you,
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surround you,
Are secrets and lies
I'll be your strength,
I'll give you hope,
Keeping your faith when it's gone
The one you should call,
Was standing here all along..
And I will take
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you
I've loved you forever,
In lifetimes before
And I promise you never...
Will you hurt anymore
I give you my word
I give you my heart (give you my heart)
This is a battle we've won
And with this vow,
Forever has now begun...
Just close your eyes (close your eyes)
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you..
This I promise you..
Over and over I fall (over and over I fall)
When I hear you call
Without you in my life baby
I just wouldn't be living at all...
And I will take (I will take you in my arms)
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong (right where you belong)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you baby
Just close your eyes
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Every word I say is true
This I promise you
Every word I say is true
This I promise you
Ooh, I promise you...
Come back soon baby....
152 <3
Friday, 25 September 2009
Verse 6 - Lesson learnt
Get to hear her voice today. I was emo as always, specially when i am talking to her and knowing that she's not my girl anymore. I was afraid of alot of things, ridiculous things i guess.
She said that she has enuff troubles already and asked me not to pressure her more. Maybe she didn't get what the whole conversation was about? i dunno... i just wanted her to know that, i understand, she wanted to be single and have fun, she dun wanna go back to those days where she had to worry about our relationship.
She said she was suffocating being with me and wasn't happy at all. I disagree to that, cos i know, i've seen her smile, hear her laughter alot of time when we're together... I dunno what happen to us, maybe becos there are alot of sad times as well.
I really wanted to change all that. She told me that i wasn't the one she wanted to marry in the future. She dun see any changes when we're together. I disagree tho i didn't say much, maybe i couldn't as she was already very suffocating.
I realize now what blogs are about, its a diary yes, but i've never tried writing down before. It actually releases alot of stress in ur mind. Aside from that, you get to be true to yourself, u get to write down how u truely feel, write down what u truely wanted to say without messing it out.
I just wanna say this:
Baby, i know u're suffocating, i know, thus i tried to make it better for u. But i was too late. You told me before that u really wanted to marry me, that's why i disagree to what u said today. I understand why u're having doubts, and i understand why u're saying no. That's why until now, i couldn't let u go...
I know exactly how i should treat u, but i was too lazy to bother when i have u around, i thought that u should be understanding and everything and i never realize that i should be the one being understanding at certain time. I should know better...
You say that i never change, but you didn't realize the changes that's been made already.
You say its not easy to change, then so you should know that it takes time.
You say why so xing ku, i guess i should really tell you, i never regreted changing for you.
Xing ku or not, its something that i must do to be a better person, to be a better husband in the future. My thoughts will always be the same, if there's a problem with my attitude, i'll proudly change for you.
Maybe you are still abit young to understand, that changes are what makes this relationship advance to the next level.
Its been a long time since i was sweet to you huh? u gave me so much hints and even told me up front and u thought i ignored it. I didn't baby, i didn't, i was really planning already, i just needed to save up 1st in order to get u the things that u'd love.
I know everything can be different after that surprise, but sadly it never happened. Maybe you are rite, maybe zhen de shi you yuan mei fen.
-end-
Before i hung up the fon with her, i told her to keep the ring safely, cos one day, i'll put it on her finger formally, one day wo men yuan fen yi ding hui zai lai.
She said she wanted to buy a fon "sony ericsson w508" but the color she wanted "white" was out of stock already in most shops. She almost gave up trying to look for it =.= *well that's the way she is...
Ended up, me looking all over for it. I know i haven't been a good bf to her for quite sometimes, this is one thing i really wanna do for her, maybe its a start of everything that i should do for her from now on. If it weren't for this break up, i might never have realize the mistakes i made, and i might never had thought of taking care of her properly in the future. All i know is, thinking that she should be the one understanding, never thought that i should be understanding at times as well... regrets filled this heart of mine now, and i swore never to let it happen again.
In the end, i found the fon she was looking for and abit of complication turned up. I dun even have the heart to quarrel with her anymore, cos i know her too well by now. Like i said, i know exactly how to treat her, but i couldn't be bothered when i'm with her. A lesson learnt indeed.
Went to gym, and after that, hand it to her personally outside her house. I said she look like a tomboy tho, hahaha didn't know where that came from =.= who am i kidding rite, she looked very feminine to me =.= really wanted to give her a kiss on the cheek before going, but her frens are around... wtheck, i guess she wouldn't let me either *sigh*
Ah well, i guess that's about it for today. I'll never forget the lesson i've learn today:
I learn that seeing her happy was the only thing i wanted.
I learn that i was suffocating her alot and its not what she should be feeling right now.
I learn that she has alot of personal problems which i never had the chance to even share with her.
I learn that i should do a better job as a boyfriend.
I learn that i should never had treated her the way i didn't intended to, now she dun see me as a person she wants to live with anymore =.=
I learn that if i want her to see how i really wanted to treat her, i should start now, not when i got her back.
I learn that she doesn't wanna take the risk of going back to where she had to be worried all the time and being hurt by words i said wrongly.
I learn that it is ok if we're apart, I'll be her guardian angel.
And i finally learn and understood the words "yuan fen" and "zi hui".
I never believe that moving on was the answer to everything. There's something that held us together for 3 and a half years and i believe that by learning the mistakes, we can treat each other better.
We've really been through alot, and from day 1 till now, there are dramatic changes. Its such a waste to just stop here now. Specially when there's only one step left to take.
There's no guarantee that we won't quarrel in the future as well, i mean, which couples never quarrel rite? Those that never did, never lasted long anyways =.=.
But i'll make the happy days more than the sad days from now on, just u all watch.
gd nite ppl,
152 <3
She said that she has enuff troubles already and asked me not to pressure her more. Maybe she didn't get what the whole conversation was about? i dunno... i just wanted her to know that, i understand, she wanted to be single and have fun, she dun wanna go back to those days where she had to worry about our relationship.
She said she was suffocating being with me and wasn't happy at all. I disagree to that, cos i know, i've seen her smile, hear her laughter alot of time when we're together... I dunno what happen to us, maybe becos there are alot of sad times as well.
I really wanted to change all that. She told me that i wasn't the one she wanted to marry in the future. She dun see any changes when we're together. I disagree tho i didn't say much, maybe i couldn't as she was already very suffocating.
I realize now what blogs are about, its a diary yes, but i've never tried writing down before. It actually releases alot of stress in ur mind. Aside from that, you get to be true to yourself, u get to write down how u truely feel, write down what u truely wanted to say without messing it out.
I just wanna say this:
Baby, i know u're suffocating, i know, thus i tried to make it better for u. But i was too late. You told me before that u really wanted to marry me, that's why i disagree to what u said today. I understand why u're having doubts, and i understand why u're saying no. That's why until now, i couldn't let u go...
I know exactly how i should treat u, but i was too lazy to bother when i have u around, i thought that u should be understanding and everything and i never realize that i should be the one being understanding at certain time. I should know better...
You say that i never change, but you didn't realize the changes that's been made already.
You say its not easy to change, then so you should know that it takes time.
You say why so xing ku, i guess i should really tell you, i never regreted changing for you.
Xing ku or not, its something that i must do to be a better person, to be a better husband in the future. My thoughts will always be the same, if there's a problem with my attitude, i'll proudly change for you.
Maybe you are still abit young to understand, that changes are what makes this relationship advance to the next level.
Its been a long time since i was sweet to you huh? u gave me so much hints and even told me up front and u thought i ignored it. I didn't baby, i didn't, i was really planning already, i just needed to save up 1st in order to get u the things that u'd love.
I know everything can be different after that surprise, but sadly it never happened. Maybe you are rite, maybe zhen de shi you yuan mei fen.
-end-
Before i hung up the fon with her, i told her to keep the ring safely, cos one day, i'll put it on her finger formally, one day wo men yuan fen yi ding hui zai lai.
She said she wanted to buy a fon "sony ericsson w508" but the color she wanted "white" was out of stock already in most shops. She almost gave up trying to look for it =.= *well that's the way she is...
Ended up, me looking all over for it. I know i haven't been a good bf to her for quite sometimes, this is one thing i really wanna do for her, maybe its a start of everything that i should do for her from now on. If it weren't for this break up, i might never have realize the mistakes i made, and i might never had thought of taking care of her properly in the future. All i know is, thinking that she should be the one understanding, never thought that i should be understanding at times as well... regrets filled this heart of mine now, and i swore never to let it happen again.
In the end, i found the fon she was looking for and abit of complication turned up. I dun even have the heart to quarrel with her anymore, cos i know her too well by now. Like i said, i know exactly how to treat her, but i couldn't be bothered when i'm with her. A lesson learnt indeed.
Went to gym, and after that, hand it to her personally outside her house. I said she look like a tomboy tho, hahaha didn't know where that came from =.= who am i kidding rite, she looked very feminine to me =.= really wanted to give her a kiss on the cheek before going, but her frens are around... wtheck, i guess she wouldn't let me either *sigh*
Ah well, i guess that's about it for today. I'll never forget the lesson i've learn today:
I learn that seeing her happy was the only thing i wanted.
I learn that i was suffocating her alot and its not what she should be feeling right now.
I learn that she has alot of personal problems which i never had the chance to even share with her.
I learn that i should do a better job as a boyfriend.
I learn that i should never had treated her the way i didn't intended to, now she dun see me as a person she wants to live with anymore =.=
I learn that if i want her to see how i really wanted to treat her, i should start now, not when i got her back.
I learn that she doesn't wanna take the risk of going back to where she had to be worried all the time and being hurt by words i said wrongly.
I learn that it is ok if we're apart, I'll be her guardian angel.
And i finally learn and understood the words "yuan fen" and "zi hui".
I never believe that moving on was the answer to everything. There's something that held us together for 3 and a half years and i believe that by learning the mistakes, we can treat each other better.
We've really been through alot, and from day 1 till now, there are dramatic changes. Its such a waste to just stop here now. Specially when there's only one step left to take.
There's no guarantee that we won't quarrel in the future as well, i mean, which couples never quarrel rite? Those that never did, never lasted long anyways =.=.
But i'll make the happy days more than the sad days from now on, just u all watch.
gd nite ppl,
152 <3
Thursday, 24 September 2009
Verse 5 - Troubles?
sigh* seems like my baby had another nose bleed. She got me worried all the time =.=.
I came to realize that our relationship was troubling her. Aside from that, she had some other troubles as well. Great* i feel very useless right now, can't believe i didn't realized this earlier.
What can i do if i realize?
Well, not much i suppose, but at least i'll be there most of the time to care for her, be a companion she can turn to. She still loves me that time, i can actually made a huge difference in her life... Argh! regrets aint gonna do anything good i guess. Lets see what i can cook up "indirectly" =.=
baby, i'm sorry, i should've paid more attention to you...
I should do a better job next time =.=|||
152 <3
I came to realize that our relationship was troubling her. Aside from that, she had some other troubles as well. Great* i feel very useless right now, can't believe i didn't realized this earlier.
What can i do if i realize?
Well, not much i suppose, but at least i'll be there most of the time to care for her, be a companion she can turn to. She still loves me that time, i can actually made a huge difference in her life... Argh! regrets aint gonna do anything good i guess. Lets see what i can cook up "indirectly" =.=
baby, i'm sorry, i should've paid more attention to you...
I should do a better job next time =.=|||
152 <3
Verse 4 - Wanna make up right now
A song that i once used to listen to 24/7. It was during the time when i tried everything to have her back in my arms again. Baby, come back soon, let me share ur problems with you. This time, i'll make everything right... *sigh* dunno how many times i have to repeat... =(
"Right Now (Na Na Na)"
[Verse 1]
Its been so long (long, long)
That I haven't seen your face
I'm trying be strong (strong)
But the strength I have is washing away (way)
It wont be long (long)
Before I get you by my side
And just hold you, tease you, squeeze you
Tell you whats been on my mind
[Chorus:]
I wanna make up right now (na na)
I wanna make up right now (na na)
Wish we never broke up right now (na na)
We need to link up right now (na na)
I wanna make up right now (na na)
I wanna make up right now (na na)
Wish we never broke up right now (na na)
We need to link up right now (na na)
[Verse 2]
Girl I know (know, know)
Mistakes were made between us two
And we show (show)
Ourselves that night, even said some things weren't true.
Why'd you go? (go)
I haven't seen my girl since then (then)
Why can't it be that way it was?
Cause you were my homie, lover, and friend
[Chorus]
[Verse 3]
I can't lie (I miss you much)
Watching everyday that goes by (I miss you much)
Until I get you back I'm gonna try (yes, I miss you much)
Cause you are the apple of my eye (girl, I miss you much, I miss you much)
I can't lie (I miss you much)
Watching everyday that goes by (I miss you much)
Until I get you back I'm gonna try (yes, I miss you much)
Cause you are the apple of my eye (girl, I miss you much, I miss you much)
[Chorus]
[Verse 4]
I want you to fly with me (want you to fly)
I miss how you lie with me (miss how you lie)
Just wish you could dine with me (wish you could dine with me)
The one that'll grind with me (said, that that'll grind with me)
I want you to fly with me (want you to fly)
I miss how you lie with me (Oh, miss how you lie)
Just wish you could dine with me (wish you could dine)
The one that'll grind with me (Oh, one that'll grind)
Yeah!
[Chorus]
I wanna make up right now (na na)
I wanna make up right now (na na) (make up) (Oh)
Wish we never broke up right now (na na)
We need to link up right now (na na) (live up, baby)
I wanna make up right now (na na)
I wanna make up right now (na na)
Wish we never broke up right now (na na)
We need to link up right now (na na) (make up)
[Thanks to Katiee for these lyrics]
[Thanks to Misty, Irene for correcting these lyrics]
"Right Now (Na Na Na)"
[Verse 1]
Its been so long (long, long)
That I haven't seen your face
I'm trying be strong (strong)
But the strength I have is washing away (way)
It wont be long (long)
Before I get you by my side
And just hold you, tease you, squeeze you
Tell you whats been on my mind
[Chorus:]
I wanna make up right now (na na)
I wanna make up right now (na na)
Wish we never broke up right now (na na)
We need to link up right now (na na)
I wanna make up right now (na na)
I wanna make up right now (na na)
Wish we never broke up right now (na na)
We need to link up right now (na na)
[Verse 2]
Girl I know (know, know)
Mistakes were made between us two
And we show (show)
Ourselves that night, even said some things weren't true.
Why'd you go? (go)
I haven't seen my girl since then (then)
Why can't it be that way it was?
Cause you were my homie, lover, and friend
[Chorus]
[Verse 3]
I can't lie (I miss you much)
Watching everyday that goes by (I miss you much)
Until I get you back I'm gonna try (yes, I miss you much)
Cause you are the apple of my eye (girl, I miss you much, I miss you much)
I can't lie (I miss you much)
Watching everyday that goes by (I miss you much)
Until I get you back I'm gonna try (yes, I miss you much)
Cause you are the apple of my eye (girl, I miss you much, I miss you much)
[Chorus]
[Verse 4]
I want you to fly with me (want you to fly)
I miss how you lie with me (miss how you lie)
Just wish you could dine with me (wish you could dine with me)
The one that'll grind with me (said, that that'll grind with me)
I want you to fly with me (want you to fly)
I miss how you lie with me (Oh, miss how you lie)
Just wish you could dine with me (wish you could dine)
The one that'll grind with me (Oh, one that'll grind)
Yeah!
[Chorus]
I wanna make up right now (na na)
I wanna make up right now (na na) (make up) (Oh)
Wish we never broke up right now (na na)
We need to link up right now (na na) (live up, baby)
I wanna make up right now (na na)
I wanna make up right now (na na)
Wish we never broke up right now (na na)
We need to link up right now (na na) (make up)
[Thanks to Katiee for these lyrics]
[Thanks to Misty, Irene for correcting these lyrics]
Verse 3 - Making a decision
Just got off chatting with her just now, she said thanks for the cookies and she only ate one piece. Reasons, she dun like it =.= ah well, at least she ate one rite. *sigh* who am i kidding, guess Attempts 01 was a failure.
The whole conversation was very weird. I chatted with her few days ago and she's alrite, but today, i dunno.. its back to the weird weird feeling again. Maybe she's trying to change who she is? or maybe she's just hiding something? or changing into a happier person perhaps? i dunno.. but watever it is, i'm not used to it at all.
Sometimes i wonder, did she leave me just so she could get closer to her guy frens? just so she could party here and there without worrying if i'm angry or not? i dunno, i never seem to have done that to her before tho... so what issit that i do that made her have to do this to me?
I'm not complaining about her party-ing but hey, she can always do it even if we're together. Its not as if i mind. I used to get jealous very easily, she dun like it. Now, i wont even get jealous, she still dun like it, complaining that i dun care about her anymore, i dun love her anymore, bla bla bla... =.=
I used to wonder how a girl can change so fast, and i'm feddup trying to find an answer.
I'm trying my best,
but you can't see,
the way u are now,
its killing me.
There are just so much things i can do together with her, like, going to the beach, bbq party, private clubing and stuff. I just didn't know she wants to. She used to say she hate the beach, she dun like bbq and stuff. She's just closed up when she's with me. Maybe she just wanted me but, i dunno...
There's this one time that she said her frens aren't like themselves when i'm around. That's why i sorta "beh ngam" with them. =.=||| ridiculous, though i find it quite true. Remembered the time when we had sushi together, me and her and her bunch of frens, i find it quite weird also, though i did try to find a topic to talk about. But hey, u dun expect me to be "Ehhhh,, wassup my man, how've u been? we should party sometimes yea?" when i'm still so new to them rite? wthell, we've never even got the chance to go out frequently yet =.=.
On the other hand, she can be ok with my frens, say e.g. shawn? Aywen? Ong? know why? cos i introduced, i made the topic, i was the one who made the mood not so "stranger" like. She contributed alot too though, being my girl and all. She was great.
I've made a decision, i should really stop contact with her, as long as she's healthy, happy and all, i guess i should be happy too. If there ever was a time she needs me, i'll be there for sure. I think this is the best way to avoid situation whereby i got hurt or got this weird weird feeling when i'm chatting with her. People say, if i love her, i should be able to endure the days without her. Seriusly, seeing her smile is what i wanted more than anything. Indirect contact is what i should do, yup yup ^^, baby like being single for now, then let her be single ba...
Don't even know if she still keep the heart-shaped box, but it didn't matter anymore i guess... she's right on one thing though... we'll never know what the future holds.
Till the day we're together again baby.
152 <3
The whole conversation was very weird. I chatted with her few days ago and she's alrite, but today, i dunno.. its back to the weird weird feeling again. Maybe she's trying to change who she is? or maybe she's just hiding something? or changing into a happier person perhaps? i dunno.. but watever it is, i'm not used to it at all.
Sometimes i wonder, did she leave me just so she could get closer to her guy frens? just so she could party here and there without worrying if i'm angry or not? i dunno, i never seem to have done that to her before tho... so what issit that i do that made her have to do this to me?
I'm not complaining about her party-ing but hey, she can always do it even if we're together. Its not as if i mind. I used to get jealous very easily, she dun like it. Now, i wont even get jealous, she still dun like it, complaining that i dun care about her anymore, i dun love her anymore, bla bla bla... =.=
I used to wonder how a girl can change so fast, and i'm feddup trying to find an answer.
I'm trying my best,
but you can't see,
the way u are now,
its killing me.
There are just so much things i can do together with her, like, going to the beach, bbq party, private clubing and stuff. I just didn't know she wants to. She used to say she hate the beach, she dun like bbq and stuff. She's just closed up when she's with me. Maybe she just wanted me but, i dunno...
There's this one time that she said her frens aren't like themselves when i'm around. That's why i sorta "beh ngam" with them. =.=||| ridiculous, though i find it quite true. Remembered the time when we had sushi together, me and her and her bunch of frens, i find it quite weird also, though i did try to find a topic to talk about. But hey, u dun expect me to be "Ehhhh,, wassup my man, how've u been? we should party sometimes yea?" when i'm still so new to them rite? wthell, we've never even got the chance to go out frequently yet =.=.
On the other hand, she can be ok with my frens, say e.g. shawn? Aywen? Ong? know why? cos i introduced, i made the topic, i was the one who made the mood not so "stranger" like. She contributed alot too though, being my girl and all. She was great.
I've made a decision, i should really stop contact with her, as long as she's healthy, happy and all, i guess i should be happy too. If there ever was a time she needs me, i'll be there for sure. I think this is the best way to avoid situation whereby i got hurt or got this weird weird feeling when i'm chatting with her. People say, if i love her, i should be able to endure the days without her. Seriusly, seeing her smile is what i wanted more than anything. Indirect contact is what i should do, yup yup ^^, baby like being single for now, then let her be single ba...
Don't even know if she still keep the heart-shaped box, but it didn't matter anymore i guess... she's right on one thing though... we'll never know what the future holds.
Till the day we're together again baby.
152 <3
Verse 2 - Attempts 01
Went to a shopping complex yesterday with a fren of mine. Was in a very depressed mood that day, no idea what happen. I thought about baby alot, but she seems to be enjoying herself, so i was kinda happy, but also not happy. She's been mixing around with some guy frens of hers. You know the feeling when u saw someone u love being so close to another guy? well i kinda had that feeling. I don't mind actually if we're still together and all, but this feeling just came automatically specially when knowing she's not mine anymore =.=||| in my mind i was thinking, why do i have to go through all this? did i make her go through all these? =.= life is unfair, gotta deal with it i guess.
Was walking around when i saw this heart shaped box and, what a coincidence, they're selling cookies =.=, great, it made me think of her directly since she's been craving for cookies at a certain time. So, i bought the heart shaped box and a pack of cookies. Now all that's left is how to hand it to her =.= her mom is back so i dunno, maybe its not that appropriate to go her house and stuff, did that before and i kinda regreted it in a sense. I was thinking while walking along with my fren asking him for some advice. He never had any good advices =.=. That was when we passed by a shop selling cloths. Me and her know the boss there so i kinda talked with the boss for awhile. As usual, she's very talkative =.= but i had to admit that some of the things she said is very meaningful since its an "experience" thing and all. At that point i knew that this is the best option to hand this gift to her. I told the boss that i wanna try to bring my ex back to me again and i asked if she could hand this gift to her. She asked "why dun u hand it to her urself?"... its not like i didn't ask myself that before. I just thought that she might not wanna see me or maybe i just dun wanna see her. The "no feeling" face of hers... =.= it's just heart breaking u know. So i asked the boss to sms her that there's a promotion or something jst so that she'll visit her store and that's about it i guess. Me and my fren left the shopping complex as i was very tired already and i'm not really in the mood, dun wanna affect my sensitive fren =.= he's always effected by my mood =.=.
Home, i got a call from the boss, she said she hand the gift to my ex already, i asked her what did my ex say? she said she didn't say anything, she's just beside her =.=||| wtheck... why call me when she's still beside you =.=. At that point, i really wanted to hear her voice again. I always thought back of the time i get to hug and kiss her =.= dam. In the end, the boss told me if i had any last word to say to her. I asked her to tell my ex that i love her and that's it i guess.
I really wonder if she still have me in her heart, but maybe she's right at one point, maybe i should just let her go. Its just very regretting that i didn't get to treat her the way i really wanted to. *sigh* i guess i'll never have that chance, but i'll keep trying till i finally give up.
Baby, when will u come back? can't u see how much i've missed u? why are u leaving me like this? did i really break your heart again this time? I've told her alot of times, that if there's a problem, we can always talk it out properly. If i'm not paying much attention, she could've reminded me. Though i also know that i should be more observant and remember without her reminding me =.=.. oh well... leave it for next time if there ever is a next time i guess.
As always baby,
i love you <3
Was walking around when i saw this heart shaped box and, what a coincidence, they're selling cookies =.=, great, it made me think of her directly since she's been craving for cookies at a certain time. So, i bought the heart shaped box and a pack of cookies. Now all that's left is how to hand it to her =.= her mom is back so i dunno, maybe its not that appropriate to go her house and stuff, did that before and i kinda regreted it in a sense. I was thinking while walking along with my fren asking him for some advice. He never had any good advices =.=. That was when we passed by a shop selling cloths. Me and her know the boss there so i kinda talked with the boss for awhile. As usual, she's very talkative =.= but i had to admit that some of the things she said is very meaningful since its an "experience" thing and all. At that point i knew that this is the best option to hand this gift to her. I told the boss that i wanna try to bring my ex back to me again and i asked if she could hand this gift to her. She asked "why dun u hand it to her urself?"... its not like i didn't ask myself that before. I just thought that she might not wanna see me or maybe i just dun wanna see her. The "no feeling" face of hers... =.= it's just heart breaking u know. So i asked the boss to sms her that there's a promotion or something jst so that she'll visit her store and that's about it i guess. Me and my fren left the shopping complex as i was very tired already and i'm not really in the mood, dun wanna affect my sensitive fren =.= he's always effected by my mood =.=.
Home, i got a call from the boss, she said she hand the gift to my ex already, i asked her what did my ex say? she said she didn't say anything, she's just beside her =.=||| wtheck... why call me when she's still beside you =.=. At that point, i really wanted to hear her voice again. I always thought back of the time i get to hug and kiss her =.= dam. In the end, the boss told me if i had any last word to say to her. I asked her to tell my ex that i love her and that's it i guess.
I really wonder if she still have me in her heart, but maybe she's right at one point, maybe i should just let her go. Its just very regretting that i didn't get to treat her the way i really wanted to. *sigh* i guess i'll never have that chance, but i'll keep trying till i finally give up.
Baby, when will u come back? can't u see how much i've missed u? why are u leaving me like this? did i really break your heart again this time? I've told her alot of times, that if there's a problem, we can always talk it out properly. If i'm not paying much attention, she could've reminded me. Though i also know that i should be more observant and remember without her reminding me =.=.. oh well... leave it for next time if there ever is a next time i guess.
As always baby,
i love you <3
Monday, 21 September 2009
Verse 1 - The Begining
We were chatting after 3 years, u blocked me for the most ridiculous reasons, haha. Remember me asking u your race, after telling me and me replying, u said "why? something bothering you? dun worry, i dun bite". Remembered the 1st time i asked u out was on valentine's day after days of chatting. I was 20 i guess and you 16. You told me your address and i have no idea where that is =.= so i kinda asked ur god bro for direction. He brought me directly to your house, i was feeling kinda nervous, dunno why. He said "u remember already? i aint bringing u here anymore u know" and i was like "erm... ok.. i think i got it". On the way out to a restaurant nearby, i sorta blured out, i think i forgot where ur house is =.=|||. knowing he aint gonna bring me for another, i just kept it to myself. Later that day after he sent me home, i drove out in search of your house again, luckily the road i took was the right one and i somehow got lost in a junction or 2, but i somehow manage to find ur house. I never tend to remember directions properly unless i'm driving, heh =.=. And wat's more surprising is that u lived so close by, guess we're fated eh?
Tomorrow is valentine's day, I've prepared the whole nite just for today. What to say, what to do, bla bla bla... but when i saw you, i was totally speechless =.= love at 1st sight maybe? i dunno, i dun really know until our movies together, when we talk to each other, when u bump into me and when u held my hands.
The day ends and i sent u back, hoping that we could spend a little more time together. I was almost out of your house's simpang when u smsed me that u have nothing to eat at home, "alrite this is my chance, its now or never", i picked u up again... we went to mamih and ur god bro joined in.
Remembered that i dun have a car of my own yet that time, my dad needed to use the car so i had to go home 1st and he sent me back to mamih afterwards where i join u and ur god bro again. I remember when ur god bro was sending me home 1st with you in the car. He made a joke asking me to chase after you. Like wtheck =.= i was already planning to do that and i somehow know that u'll accept too. But i dunno... its like, i'm certain you'll accept yet afraid that i might be wrong.
I said the silliest thing trying to get you as my girl didn't i.
The next day i proposed, u said yes and there, we're together. Everlasting 152<3 me and you.
Remembered how mad u were when i didn't hold your hand in yayasan ^^
And how your mood just came back once i held your hand =.=
We started out sweet like any other relationship. We made promises to each other, promises that's so hard to keep. I came to realize that words like "i'll be with you forever" means nothing at all. Though its nice to hear it, at least, we'll feel more secure. Remembered that i can't live without you and u can't live without me too. We steal a kiss every chance we get. So what happened? i wonder. I used to be afraid of loosing you that's why i put up with most of the shits u said. I guess it goes the same for you baby.
It was time for me to go further my studies outside. Did u know? that when i see u cry, i wished so much to stay, yet i cant, i just cant. Alot of things happened during the time i was overseas. I somehow got the courage to go against ur will. Guess i'm not so afraid of loosing you anymore baby. But becos of that, i was over confident and took advantage becos i knew u'll never leave me. Things got out of hand and u left me for another. Regrets, hate, doubts, hope, love, insecurity, trusts, etc, we felt that all during that time. U left me during the most critical time =.= when i knew that u're not mine anymore and that u had someone else, i sorta flunked my degree and rush back asap. That's when we 1st slapped each other =.=
2 months later i remember i sms u about something and u replied saying that u wanted to see me. U have no idea how happy i was. We got back together after sometime, but the things u did really left a deep mark in my heart. I was so focused on revenge and you had no rights at all in my heart. I treated u badly and even got another girl. I was glad i picked u in the end. But my way towards you haven't improve and you left once more.
During that time, I never realized that i would feel so horrible when u left again. I started chasing you back like a mad man. Put alot of effort in it just to get you back again. Didn't know that u'd actually come back. Made a promise never to mistreat u again.
We got together just fine for a few months until something came up again =.= guess i expected too much from you too fast. Scolding you with vulgar words, hurting you and i never realized it. You left again, and this time i guess this is it. Nevertheless, i still chase after u like crazy =.=||| gotta admit, if not for this break up, i would've never learn my lesson. During the months we were apart, i learn the biggest lesson in life and i wrote it down "the 30 days without my baby". Finding ways to improve myself in hope that u'll come back one day. Guess what, we got back together again after all the flowers, all the surprises... girl, you're hard to get back u know that? but its all worth it, to see ur smile, to hear ur voice, to have you by my side again.
We really did change ever since the 1st time we meet each other huh baby? i never used vulgar words against u anymore and you automatically changed ur temper for me. I was very happy being with you. Then things started happening again *urgh*. I guess i was too focus on my work trying to make a brighter future for both of us that i forgot about ur existence. Neglected you in a way and never realized that u're all alone at home. When u needed me i wasn't there. When i started realizing, preparing for the surprise of ur life, i was too late.
So here we are, apart from each other once more. My only regret was that i never get to treat u the way i should, the way u wanted. Guess the chances of getting you back are slimmer than before.
Its been 3 and a half year now haven't it baby? alot of happy memories and painful memories lingers in our heart and mind. Missed those days we use to laugh together, go out together and do things for each other. I've learn my lesson baby, would you give me another chance? *sigh*.... if i have the chance to do it all over again, it'll be so different.
Here's a song i've been listening to, dunno if there's any meaning to it for ya'll, but it sure is meaningful to me...
Akon - Keep You Much Longer
"Keep You Much Longer"
Wish I could keep you much longer
I know you gotta go cuz you got things to do
Wish I could keep you much longer
Now you to busy for me girl like I was to you
Wish I could stop by
And maybe say hi
Wish I could jus stop by
And lay by your side
The tables have turned
And I've finally learned
That this is makin up for every day I was gone
And that's why I'm concerned
But now it's confirmed
That you spread your wings and learned to fly all alone
Darkness in the night
I'll find that light for you
As long as I got eyes
I'll have a sight for you
Long as I am alive baby I'd die for you
I wanna be with you
Wish I could keep you much longer
I know you gotta go cuz you got things to do
Wish I could keep you much longer
Now you to busy for me girl like I was to you
Wish I could stop by
And maybe say hi
Wish I could jus stop by
And lay by your side
You're always on my mind
While I'm racin
While I'm paper chasin
You were there when I said one day I'd get up out that basement
Playin as my agent
For you, there's no replacement
You will always be my girl
And you can hold me on that statement
Darkness in the night
I'll find that light for you
As long as I got eyes
I'll have a sight for you
Long as I am alive baby I'd die for you
Wanna be with you
Wish I could keep you much longer
I know you gotta go cuz you got things to do
Wish I could keep you much longer
Now you to busy for me girl like I was to you
Wish I could stop by
And maybe say hi
Wish I could jus stop by
And lay by your side
Baby I know you
And how we do
Doin exactly what I taught you
Gotta get that money first
Before you come spend that precious time with your boo
And I know I gotta just take it
Even though it's drivin me crazy
Always wanted to see my girl make it
Wish I could keep you much longer
I know you gotta go cuz you got things to do
Wish I could keep you much longer
Now you to busy for me girl like I was to you
Wish I could keep you so much longer
Wish I could stop by
And maybe say "hi"
Wish I could jus stop by
And lay by your side
Wish I could keep you much longer
I know you gotta go cuz you got things to do
Wish I could keep you much longer
Now you to busy for me girl like I was to you
Wish I could keep you baby
I just wanna keep you longer
How i wish to keep you longer in my arms. Waking with you by my side everyday. Eating together with you on every meals.
Come back soon baby, i miss u alot... <3
Tomorrow is valentine's day, I've prepared the whole nite just for today. What to say, what to do, bla bla bla... but when i saw you, i was totally speechless =.= love at 1st sight maybe? i dunno, i dun really know until our movies together, when we talk to each other, when u bump into me and when u held my hands.
The day ends and i sent u back, hoping that we could spend a little more time together. I was almost out of your house's simpang when u smsed me that u have nothing to eat at home, "alrite this is my chance, its now or never", i picked u up again... we went to mamih and ur god bro joined in.
Remembered that i dun have a car of my own yet that time, my dad needed to use the car so i had to go home 1st and he sent me back to mamih afterwards where i join u and ur god bro again. I remember when ur god bro was sending me home 1st with you in the car. He made a joke asking me to chase after you. Like wtheck =.= i was already planning to do that and i somehow know that u'll accept too. But i dunno... its like, i'm certain you'll accept yet afraid that i might be wrong.
I said the silliest thing trying to get you as my girl didn't i.
The next day i proposed, u said yes and there, we're together. Everlasting 152<3 me and you.
Remembered how mad u were when i didn't hold your hand in yayasan ^^
And how your mood just came back once i held your hand =.=
We started out sweet like any other relationship. We made promises to each other, promises that's so hard to keep. I came to realize that words like "i'll be with you forever" means nothing at all. Though its nice to hear it, at least, we'll feel more secure. Remembered that i can't live without you and u can't live without me too. We steal a kiss every chance we get. So what happened? i wonder. I used to be afraid of loosing you that's why i put up with most of the shits u said. I guess it goes the same for you baby.
It was time for me to go further my studies outside. Did u know? that when i see u cry, i wished so much to stay, yet i cant, i just cant. Alot of things happened during the time i was overseas. I somehow got the courage to go against ur will. Guess i'm not so afraid of loosing you anymore baby. But becos of that, i was over confident and took advantage becos i knew u'll never leave me. Things got out of hand and u left me for another. Regrets, hate, doubts, hope, love, insecurity, trusts, etc, we felt that all during that time. U left me during the most critical time =.= when i knew that u're not mine anymore and that u had someone else, i sorta flunked my degree and rush back asap. That's when we 1st slapped each other =.=
2 months later i remember i sms u about something and u replied saying that u wanted to see me. U have no idea how happy i was. We got back together after sometime, but the things u did really left a deep mark in my heart. I was so focused on revenge and you had no rights at all in my heart. I treated u badly and even got another girl. I was glad i picked u in the end. But my way towards you haven't improve and you left once more.
During that time, I never realized that i would feel so horrible when u left again. I started chasing you back like a mad man. Put alot of effort in it just to get you back again. Didn't know that u'd actually come back. Made a promise never to mistreat u again.
We got together just fine for a few months until something came up again =.= guess i expected too much from you too fast. Scolding you with vulgar words, hurting you and i never realized it. You left again, and this time i guess this is it. Nevertheless, i still chase after u like crazy =.=||| gotta admit, if not for this break up, i would've never learn my lesson. During the months we were apart, i learn the biggest lesson in life and i wrote it down "the 30 days without my baby". Finding ways to improve myself in hope that u'll come back one day. Guess what, we got back together again after all the flowers, all the surprises... girl, you're hard to get back u know that? but its all worth it, to see ur smile, to hear ur voice, to have you by my side again.
We really did change ever since the 1st time we meet each other huh baby? i never used vulgar words against u anymore and you automatically changed ur temper for me. I was very happy being with you. Then things started happening again *urgh*. I guess i was too focus on my work trying to make a brighter future for both of us that i forgot about ur existence. Neglected you in a way and never realized that u're all alone at home. When u needed me i wasn't there. When i started realizing, preparing for the surprise of ur life, i was too late.
So here we are, apart from each other once more. My only regret was that i never get to treat u the way i should, the way u wanted. Guess the chances of getting you back are slimmer than before.
Its been 3 and a half year now haven't it baby? alot of happy memories and painful memories lingers in our heart and mind. Missed those days we use to laugh together, go out together and do things for each other. I've learn my lesson baby, would you give me another chance? *sigh*.... if i have the chance to do it all over again, it'll be so different.
Here's a song i've been listening to, dunno if there's any meaning to it for ya'll, but it sure is meaningful to me...
Akon - Keep You Much Longer
"Keep You Much Longer"
Wish I could keep you much longer
I know you gotta go cuz you got things to do
Wish I could keep you much longer
Now you to busy for me girl like I was to you
Wish I could stop by
And maybe say hi
Wish I could jus stop by
And lay by your side
The tables have turned
And I've finally learned
That this is makin up for every day I was gone
And that's why I'm concerned
But now it's confirmed
That you spread your wings and learned to fly all alone
Darkness in the night
I'll find that light for you
As long as I got eyes
I'll have a sight for you
Long as I am alive baby I'd die for you
I wanna be with you
Wish I could keep you much longer
I know you gotta go cuz you got things to do
Wish I could keep you much longer
Now you to busy for me girl like I was to you
Wish I could stop by
And maybe say hi
Wish I could jus stop by
And lay by your side
You're always on my mind
While I'm racin
While I'm paper chasin
You were there when I said one day I'd get up out that basement
Playin as my agent
For you, there's no replacement
You will always be my girl
And you can hold me on that statement
Darkness in the night
I'll find that light for you
As long as I got eyes
I'll have a sight for you
Long as I am alive baby I'd die for you
Wanna be with you
Wish I could keep you much longer
I know you gotta go cuz you got things to do
Wish I could keep you much longer
Now you to busy for me girl like I was to you
Wish I could stop by
And maybe say hi
Wish I could jus stop by
And lay by your side
Baby I know you
And how we do
Doin exactly what I taught you
Gotta get that money first
Before you come spend that precious time with your boo
And I know I gotta just take it
Even though it's drivin me crazy
Always wanted to see my girl make it
Wish I could keep you much longer
I know you gotta go cuz you got things to do
Wish I could keep you much longer
Now you to busy for me girl like I was to you
Wish I could keep you so much longer
Wish I could stop by
And maybe say "hi"
Wish I could jus stop by
And lay by your side
Wish I could keep you much longer
I know you gotta go cuz you got things to do
Wish I could keep you much longer
Now you to busy for me girl like I was to you
Wish I could keep you baby
I just wanna keep you longer
How i wish to keep you longer in my arms. Waking with you by my side everyday. Eating together with you on every meals.
Come back soon baby, i miss u alot... <3
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