Verse 3 - Making a decision

Just got off chatting with her just now, she said thanks for the cookies and she only ate one piece. Reasons, she dun like it =.= ah well, at least she ate one rite. *sigh* who am i kidding, guess Attempts 01 was a failure.

The whole conversation was very weird. I chatted with her few days ago and she's alrite, but today, i dunno.. its back to the weird weird feeling again. Maybe she's trying to change who she is? or maybe she's just hiding something? or changing into a happier person perhaps? i dunno.. but watever it is, i'm not used to it at all.

Sometimes i wonder, did she leave me just so she could get closer to her guy frens? just so she could party here and there without worrying if i'm angry or not? i dunno, i never seem to have done that to her before tho... so what issit that i do that made her have to do this to me?

I'm not complaining about her party-ing but hey, she can always do it even if we're together. Its not as if i mind. I used to get jealous very easily, she dun like it. Now, i wont even get jealous, she still dun like it, complaining that i dun care about her anymore, i dun love her anymore, bla bla bla... =.=

I used to wonder how a girl can change so fast, and i'm feddup trying to find an answer.

I'm trying my best,
but you can't see,
the way u are now,
its killing me.

There are just so much things i can do together with her, like, going to the beach, bbq party, private clubing and stuff. I just didn't know she wants to. She used to say she hate the beach, she dun like bbq and stuff. She's just closed up when she's with me. Maybe she just wanted me but, i dunno...

There's this one time that she said her frens aren't like themselves when i'm around. That's why i sorta "beh ngam" with them. =.=||| ridiculous, though i find it quite true. Remembered the time when we had sushi together, me and her and her bunch of frens, i find it quite weird also, though i did try to find a topic to talk about. But hey, u dun expect me to be "Ehhhh,, wassup my man, how've u been? we should party sometimes yea?" when i'm still so new to them rite? wthell, we've never even got the chance to go out frequently yet =.=.

On the other hand, she can be ok with my frens, say e.g. shawn? Aywen? Ong? know why? cos i introduced, i made the topic, i was the one who made the mood not so "stranger" like. She contributed alot too though, being my girl and all. She was great.

I've made a decision, i should really stop contact with her, as long as she's healthy, happy and all, i guess i should be happy too. If there ever was a time she needs me, i'll be there for sure. I think this is the best way to avoid situation whereby i got hurt or got this weird weird feeling when i'm chatting with her. People say, if i love her, i should be able to endure the days without her. Seriusly, seeing her smile is what i wanted more than anything. Indirect contact is what i should do, yup yup ^^, baby like being single for now, then let her be single ba...

Don't even know if she still keep the heart-shaped box, but it didn't matter anymore i guess... she's right on one thing though... we'll never know what the future holds.

Till the day we're together again baby.
152 <3