Yeap, just like the topic today says. I'm taking another step forward. Before i start with today's story, i would like to say, i really miss baby alot, i really love baby alot and whatever happens, i'll always be there for u. If not as ur lover, then as ur fren =)
Went partying yesterday nite, and it was one hell of a nite! Meet this girl whom i think is quite attractive. I usually dun approach girls whom are attractive as i tend to have nothing to say =.= But that nite was different because, well... i lost the love of my life to another guy =.= so yea, i was thinking 'what the heck" and just go towards this girl and started introducing myself.
Like i said, that nite was different, not becos of me being daring and everything, but becos of that girl. She is dam open and before i even started introducing myself, she said "hello, nice party rite? wat's ur name?" and i was like "..... ye..yea... I'm wingz, what bout u?"
At that point i thought of "her" again, and i got kinda moody. I was hoping that my thoughts of her wont spoil the mood of the party with that girl. So, i shook the thoughts off and continued with my talks with her. Found out she's older than me and is married already. But i didn't mind, (hey, viewers out there, i aint hitting on this chick yet ok.)* cos i wasn't gonna hit on her. Its just that she's pretty, and she's open and down to earth. U guys know the feeling rite? yeap! =)
Here are part of our conversation:
girl: so where's ur girl?
me: i dun have one. just broke up 2 months + ago.
girl: aw.. that's sad, dun worry, u'll get a new one. ^^
me: yea, i know, it aint easy tho.
girl: well, its never easy finding the right person.
me: well, i found her, but i lost her =.=
girl: then find another one... hahaha. u found it once, so u can find it again.
me: yea well, i still love her so.
girl: so u want her back? hahaha...
me: er... yea.. sorta...
girl: well, why dun u try finding someone and wait for her at the same time? This way, its either she'll be back with you or u'll be with a new girl whom u fell in love with.
me: i am...
girl: dun seem like it. there's a girl over there, go!
-end-
That was "part" of our conversation in mandarin.
Later on that day, still in the party, i thought of what the girl said.
Really, have i really been waiting for her and going after another girl? or am i just waiting for her? What if she doesn't come back? am i gonna be a monk? =.=|||
In a conversation with my dad, i said before "let fate decide" and my dad went "fate, fate ur head, u dun go look where got fate?"
Seriusly tho, its true =.=. So have i really been looking and waiting at the same time? or just waiting?
Found out i was only waiting =.=||| so from that nite on, i aint gonna just wait around anymore. I thought to myself, i aint bad, i aint that poor, its not like i'm fugly or something, i'm willing to change for the better, i somewat know how to treat a girl i love and i got plans for myself before. So why am i just waiting around?
So that nite was one hell of a party, cos i actually went hitting on girls =.= and got myself 2 numbers. Now, i aint gonna rush things so, i'll start with a little "hi" and do some research. kekekeke.
This morning, i was gonna sms those girls but then i didn't. I hesitated cos i thought "what if things got serius?" am i really ready to move on with the new girl? do i even have the cash to treat them to drinks and foods and stuff when i got either one of them? =.=||| ah well.. i guess i'll just develop some relation with them 1st. At least by doing this, even if we can't be together, we'll still remain as frens ^^
So yea, this morning have been good, cos the pain i had in my chest every morning is gone. I'm actually waiting while moving on now. And i got options again. Wat's a guy without options rite? =.=|||
I've decided to stop blogging here from today on as well, its inappropriate as i created this blog solely for "her". If u find me blogging here again, its gonna be becos i'm back with her =) but i'll review this blog over and over again from time to time just so to remind myself that i still love her so much. And If viewers wanna see what i'm up to, then visit my new blog at bbwingzlife.blogspot.com. This blog aint up yet. It will soon ^^. Over there, i will touch up on "her" as well whenever i miss her or thought of something related to her.
Minor notice: there aint gonna be pictures in that blog too so yea... hahaha
152 <3 always and forever
Sunday, 8 November 2009
New verse 7 - A promise fulfilled too late
Lets start by telling what i did yesterday. Nothing. there.. =)
Boring rite? whenever someone replies me with "nothing", there's nothing else to talk about =.=|||
Anyways, i went home early yesterday cos i got dizzy staring at the computer in the office for so long. I kept thinking about her blog and at one point, i almost wanted to visit it again. So i had to stop myself by going to the toilet and getting my face washed =.=. Success!
I went home and took a short nap. Later on, i asked 2 of my frens out to shop around, kai kai and stuff. The thing about them is, one of them is like so dam childish =.=||| seriusly, very annoying. Believe me, when i say its annoying, its really annoying =.=. She was like pushing my face while i was driving. It got me so pissed at one point that i almost "ALMOST" scolded her =.=||| seriusly tho, i'll never bring that girl shopping again =.=.
Anyways, the other girl she's with was abit decent and how lucky, she works in the shopping mall we're in. There's this watch section that i passed by with "her" once. And i told her that i'll buy a heart shaped watch for her. She didn't commented on anything at 1st until i showed her the poster. I guess she likes it alot? =) i can see the glow in her eyes already that time =.=|||. It was then, that i vowed to myself and promised her that i'll get it for her as soon as i got the cash. But then the ring have to come 1st =.=||| oh well.
So i passed by that section and i dunno if i got emo or not. But i remembered her saying in cheezebox once, after we've broken up, "you buy for me la" when i asked her to get a new watch. SOOooo... i sorta asked the sales lady if that watch was still available. The sales lady said no. Sad~ really..
Then the other girl fren whom i said just now was "decent" =.= says that there's one at the bandar branch. Without thinking, i flew down to bandar with the "decent" girl and the "childish" girl =.=|||| *yea, i'm hoping that girl will see this blog and realize that i was really mad* lol...
We rushed down and up to the section where the watch was laying. It's so beautiful, i'm sure it'll suit "her" alot. Without thinking twice, i bought it =.=||| and becos ms.decent works there, i get to have 10% discount... lol. Lets not talk about the price of the watch =.=|||
After shopping around for awhile, we got hungry... so we went to "sempurna restaurant" that nite to have something to eat. Love the american style fried rice there. Think i'll be going there again soon =)
The day ended with us feeling tired and sleepy. After i got home, i layed in bed with my window's curtain opened and stared at the watch, thinking how happy she would be, thinking about her smile. Then i thought to myself, "how am i suppose to give it to her now?" =.=||| just like the ring, the reason i bought this watch is for her, so it'll be very inappropriate to give it to someone else =.=. sigh* God, i miss her so much. As i looked up to the moon i thought to myself, "When u're thinking of someone all the time, that person will come home one day". So when will baby come home to me? cos there's not one day that passed by without baby in my mind.... and i fell asleep. =.=
Lesson learn today? nothing... ^^ and there, end of topic =)
This is like the longest time i've been alone without her in my arms, without her in my life. I can't believe i'm still missing her so much...
152 <3
Boring rite? whenever someone replies me with "nothing", there's nothing else to talk about =.=|||
Anyways, i went home early yesterday cos i got dizzy staring at the computer in the office for so long. I kept thinking about her blog and at one point, i almost wanted to visit it again. So i had to stop myself by going to the toilet and getting my face washed =.=. Success!
I went home and took a short nap. Later on, i asked 2 of my frens out to shop around, kai kai and stuff. The thing about them is, one of them is like so dam childish =.=||| seriusly, very annoying. Believe me, when i say its annoying, its really annoying =.=. She was like pushing my face while i was driving. It got me so pissed at one point that i almost "ALMOST" scolded her =.=||| seriusly tho, i'll never bring that girl shopping again =.=.
Anyways, the other girl she's with was abit decent and how lucky, she works in the shopping mall we're in. There's this watch section that i passed by with "her" once. And i told her that i'll buy a heart shaped watch for her. She didn't commented on anything at 1st until i showed her the poster. I guess she likes it alot? =) i can see the glow in her eyes already that time =.=|||. It was then, that i vowed to myself and promised her that i'll get it for her as soon as i got the cash. But then the ring have to come 1st =.=||| oh well.
So i passed by that section and i dunno if i got emo or not. But i remembered her saying in cheezebox once, after we've broken up, "you buy for me la" when i asked her to get a new watch. SOOooo... i sorta asked the sales lady if that watch was still available. The sales lady said no. Sad~ really..
Then the other girl fren whom i said just now was "decent" =.= says that there's one at the bandar branch. Without thinking, i flew down to bandar with the "decent" girl and the "childish" girl =.=|||| *yea, i'm hoping that girl will see this blog and realize that i was really mad* lol...
We rushed down and up to the section where the watch was laying. It's so beautiful, i'm sure it'll suit "her" alot. Without thinking twice, i bought it =.=||| and becos ms.decent works there, i get to have 10% discount... lol. Lets not talk about the price of the watch =.=|||
After shopping around for awhile, we got hungry... so we went to "sempurna restaurant" that nite to have something to eat. Love the american style fried rice there. Think i'll be going there again soon =)
The day ended with us feeling tired and sleepy. After i got home, i layed in bed with my window's curtain opened and stared at the watch, thinking how happy she would be, thinking about her smile. Then i thought to myself, "how am i suppose to give it to her now?" =.=||| just like the ring, the reason i bought this watch is for her, so it'll be very inappropriate to give it to someone else =.=. sigh* God, i miss her so much. As i looked up to the moon i thought to myself, "When u're thinking of someone all the time, that person will come home one day". So when will baby come home to me? cos there's not one day that passed by without baby in my mind.... and i fell asleep. =.=
Lesson learn today? nothing... ^^ and there, end of topic =)
This is like the longest time i've been alone without her in my arms, without her in my life. I can't believe i'm still missing her so much...
152 <3
Friday, 6 November 2009
New verse 6 - misunderstandings handled improperly
*I wont be disclosing her blog, cos then, all u viewers will be busy reading hers and not mine =.= and i dun really wan ppl to know who she is anyways. ^^ This blog is between my relationship with her's. Names and info aren't required =)
I just read her blog. I said i wouldn't visit her blog ever again, and i did... hence i dunno what happened until someone told me about it. They say curiousity kills the cat. Somewat i find it quite true. =.=||| i'm just lucky i aint dead yet.
What can i say? i've been through worse...
Its regarding my previous post. I posted that my fren says that she's "immature" (*lol.. i told u she'll be furious*) and she totally were and still is i suppose? F.u.r.i.o.u.s.
Well... maybe its my fault too for not saying what is to be said. She thinks that i've been saying bad things behind her back, leading to my frens or ppl that's i've talked to (*only 4 so far jst so she know, to cleansed her from curiousity and further fury) thinking that she's immature =.=|||
I dunno how to explain it but the fact is, they all concluded she's immature in a way and i didn't say anything fake. All 100% truth.
Maybe she wont be so mad at me if i've posted other things that this "girl friend" of mine said yesterday.
For her info, and all u viewers too, my fren said that i'm immature too =) and i admit that. I used to be so immature that i couldn't bare the sight of it. Not saying that i've changed everything now. Even a 50 year old man have a certain immaturity in him ^^.
Why'd my fren say i was immature? cos i gets mad at "her" most of the time over little things in the past, scolding her bitch and everything, cos i always stopped by the road side fighting with her in the car, cos i couldn't control my urge of wanting to stop this senseless fight right now *as in then*, i couldn't even wait till we all calmed down 1st, cos i waited outside her house that time until she came out to see me.
Seriusly, i sorta know the reason why she was this furious after reading my previous post. If u were thinking "this bastard were talking bad things behind me while saying nice words infront of me just to get me back" i would bet u'll be mad like a bull too =)
Lesson to be learn here? well.. always ask and find out everything, truth and facts before going mad. I dun blame her, i blame myself. why? cos i used to be like her too and i should know better than to comment on her blog. I just added some gasoline to a fire breathing dragon... lol.
She told me that she saw my conversation with a girl in facebook. And here's what i have to say. "so?"
I hope before she goes berserk again, my "so?" is meant in a nice way. Yea, i told that girl that i have to move on BECOS u dun wanna come back anymore. Yea, i told her that u left me and that we're not a match from the begining. Yea, i told her that u have a bad temper. And here's my question "so?"
I never mentioned to her about our past, nor did i mention to her ur name, ur URL, or who u were. This girl i added after we've broken up for about a few weeks i think? hm... can't remember. And i was moody, i just said things out without making much effort to explain things. WHY? cos i'm not very fond with "pin yin" and its freaking facebook... u know how hard it is to chat in facebook? =.=|||
She says she knows i'm going nuts without her and "heheheheheh" =.=||| here my answer to that again... "so?"
Everyone here knows that. Everyone who's reading my blog anyways. Inc my frens and the ppl i've talked to just so i could get some advice and opinions.
She says i've been bugging her. But i haven't been in contact with her for 2-3 days already =S
Baby have a bad day just becos she thought this and that without knowing facts. I have a bad day today, correction "tonite" cos baby had to be this way and wat's worse is at the end of the blog, she commented "why must you make me do this =( lol"
But hey, i'm gonna tell everyone here right now that i'm not blaming her for that. WHY? cos those who don't know, have no guilt. And becos i'm going NUTS without her, and i love her.
Baby said to make up my mind, dun be a 2 face, a poker face. But i've already made up my mind. What was baby doing reading my blog? remembering the word "immature" only?
To all my viewers, I've gotta be one professional Liar huh? to make u all believe that i'm still madly in love with this girl and that i wanted her back so badly. To my frens, i think i can make it to hollywood with my tears act huh? lol... Anyways, i'm gonna take a time out until i've something to post again ^^ i'll make sure to get my words rite or sentences rite before posting, just so to prevent any misunderstandings again.
I hope i've somehow calmed baby down tonite, and as always, please drink lotsa water everday, and try ur best to finish ur assignments on time k? gd luck with everything <3
152 <3
I just read her blog. I said i wouldn't visit her blog ever again, and i did... hence i dunno what happened until someone told me about it. They say curiousity kills the cat. Somewat i find it quite true. =.=||| i'm just lucky i aint dead yet.
What can i say? i've been through worse...
Its regarding my previous post. I posted that my fren says that she's "immature" (*lol.. i told u she'll be furious*) and she totally were and still is i suppose? F.u.r.i.o.u.s.
Well... maybe its my fault too for not saying what is to be said. She thinks that i've been saying bad things behind her back, leading to my frens or ppl that's i've talked to (*only 4 so far jst so she know, to cleansed her from curiousity and further fury) thinking that she's immature =.=|||
I dunno how to explain it but the fact is, they all concluded she's immature in a way and i didn't say anything fake. All 100% truth.
Maybe she wont be so mad at me if i've posted other things that this "girl friend" of mine said yesterday.
For her info, and all u viewers too, my fren said that i'm immature too =) and i admit that. I used to be so immature that i couldn't bare the sight of it. Not saying that i've changed everything now. Even a 50 year old man have a certain immaturity in him ^^.
Why'd my fren say i was immature? cos i gets mad at "her" most of the time over little things in the past, scolding her bitch and everything, cos i always stopped by the road side fighting with her in the car, cos i couldn't control my urge of wanting to stop this senseless fight right now *as in then*, i couldn't even wait till we all calmed down 1st, cos i waited outside her house that time until she came out to see me.
Seriusly, i sorta know the reason why she was this furious after reading my previous post. If u were thinking "this bastard were talking bad things behind me while saying nice words infront of me just to get me back" i would bet u'll be mad like a bull too =)
Lesson to be learn here? well.. always ask and find out everything, truth and facts before going mad. I dun blame her, i blame myself. why? cos i used to be like her too and i should know better than to comment on her blog. I just added some gasoline to a fire breathing dragon... lol.
She told me that she saw my conversation with a girl in facebook. And here's what i have to say. "so?"
I hope before she goes berserk again, my "so?" is meant in a nice way. Yea, i told that girl that i have to move on BECOS u dun wanna come back anymore. Yea, i told her that u left me and that we're not a match from the begining. Yea, i told her that u have a bad temper. And here's my question "so?"
I never mentioned to her about our past, nor did i mention to her ur name, ur URL, or who u were. This girl i added after we've broken up for about a few weeks i think? hm... can't remember. And i was moody, i just said things out without making much effort to explain things. WHY? cos i'm not very fond with "pin yin" and its freaking facebook... u know how hard it is to chat in facebook? =.=|||
She says she knows i'm going nuts without her and "heheheheheh" =.=||| here my answer to that again... "so?"
Everyone here knows that. Everyone who's reading my blog anyways. Inc my frens and the ppl i've talked to just so i could get some advice and opinions.
She says i've been bugging her. But i haven't been in contact with her for 2-3 days already =S
Baby have a bad day just becos she thought this and that without knowing facts. I have a bad day today, correction "tonite" cos baby had to be this way and wat's worse is at the end of the blog, she commented "why must you make me do this =( lol"
But hey, i'm gonna tell everyone here right now that i'm not blaming her for that. WHY? cos those who don't know, have no guilt. And becos i'm going NUTS without her, and i love her.
Baby said to make up my mind, dun be a 2 face, a poker face. But i've already made up my mind. What was baby doing reading my blog? remembering the word "immature" only?
To all my viewers, I've gotta be one professional Liar huh? to make u all believe that i'm still madly in love with this girl and that i wanted her back so badly. To my frens, i think i can make it to hollywood with my tears act huh? lol... Anyways, i'm gonna take a time out until i've something to post again ^^ i'll make sure to get my words rite or sentences rite before posting, just so to prevent any misunderstandings again.
I hope i've somehow calmed baby down tonite, and as always, please drink lotsa water everday, and try ur best to finish ur assignments on time k? gd luck with everything <3
152 <3
New verse 5 - What else can i do?
Yesterday, i was talking to one of my fren and here are part of our conversation:
her: do u know how to love?
me: i dunno, i do i guess?
her: no, u don't...
me: .......... what makes u say that?
her: cos u're starving urself ever since i meet you a few weeks back. u've been so emotionally down. sure, u can talk straight, make sense in what u say, know what u should do and what you shouldn't, but u're still being controlled by ur emotions. and your emotions, ur feelings are saying "get her back, even if u have wait a year or 2, just get her back". I understand that you love her, but do u think u can love her properly even if u got her back now?
me: i can, just as long as she's back, i would feel so... (she stops me here)
her: don't lie to yourself wingz, u have this thoughts of treating her better, treating her good and everything. but didn't u realise? everything you do is about her, her, her... If i were ur gf, i would probably feel that u're too sticky. What i'm trying to say is, if u love her, let her do wat she wants and just catch her when she falls. Isn't that what u said in ur blog? In order for u to love her properly if she ever comes back, 1st u must learn to love urself.
me: u could've just said that u know? =.=||| no need to go through all this talks.
and we continue yapping =.=.
Lesson learnt? nothing basically... it just reminded me about her. About the time we spent together, laughing and holding hands. I browse through the pictures i took with her. I can't believe its all over. Really, why does she have to leave?
Later that day, we touched on this topic.
me: bla bla bla... cos i hurt her and she needs a time out from me.
her: yea, a time out, so why did she leave?
me: she says she dun wanna come back to this hell hole. waiting for a guy to come home every nite.
her: ur gf, sorry, ur ex, is just too young, immature.. a time out is a time out, every couple have that once in awhile, specially when everything seems to just go so wrong at times. But a break up? ridiculous~ have u ever cheated on her?
me: no, but thinking back, there're words that i used that hurt her i guess..
her: that's why she's immature, she should understand that words aren't everything. I said i hate my ex alot of time too, i even called him a bastard. If he takes my word seriusly, then what about my actions when i'm with him? the time we kiss? wow! i'm kissing someone i dun even love. I must be a whore then?
me: lol... u dun have to go into that extent =.=
her: do u get my point now?
me: yea, i got it ^^, i'm sure she'll be pissed when she hear u saying that she's immature. hahaha...
me: i understand wat u're trying to say, but understand that she's only 19, yea... maybe immature abit, i am "immature" too, but i can't blame her rite? me being 24, i should know better and treat her better. Break things down to her gently... I know she's very fragile and yet, i handled her so roughly =.=
her: stop blaming urself wingz.
me: i'm not, we all make mistakes, i'm not saying that she's all rite too. i'm just saying that i'm learning from this that's all...
-end-
Just for my viewer's info, the sentences above are translated from mandarin language and some mixed english. The exact words might not be there, but the meanings are more or less the same.
To my fren: dun blame me, u dared me to blog it remember? =.=
Anyways, lesson supposed to be learn from all this is "learn to love yourself before you love others" am i rite? =)
I've been loving myself really.. Been going to gym, been eating healthy food. Tho i must admit i dun have the appetite to eat every time i thought of her, or rather, thought of us being together in the past. The days we spent on every occasions, Valentine's day, Anniversary, Birthdays, Chinese new year, and so on... Its really unforgettable and it'll always remain in my heart. But yea, i've been eating even when my appetite is in an all time low.
Cant explain how much i miss her anymore, Cant be bothered to think about how long more must i wait for her to come back. But i'm sure, like most people say, time is still ticking, i'll have to move on one day too. I gotta make a success in my career 1st else things wont change even if she comes back. Its just too bad she's not by my side going through all these changes with me. I understand, its hard for her, painful and everything, i wouldn't want her to go through it with me either. So i'll go through it myself and i'm keeping my promise baby, I'll catch u if ever u were to fall...
152 <3
her: do u know how to love?
me: i dunno, i do i guess?
her: no, u don't...
me: .......... what makes u say that?
her: cos u're starving urself ever since i meet you a few weeks back. u've been so emotionally down. sure, u can talk straight, make sense in what u say, know what u should do and what you shouldn't, but u're still being controlled by ur emotions. and your emotions, ur feelings are saying "get her back, even if u have wait a year or 2, just get her back". I understand that you love her, but do u think u can love her properly even if u got her back now?
me: i can, just as long as she's back, i would feel so... (she stops me here)
her: don't lie to yourself wingz, u have this thoughts of treating her better, treating her good and everything. but didn't u realise? everything you do is about her, her, her... If i were ur gf, i would probably feel that u're too sticky. What i'm trying to say is, if u love her, let her do wat she wants and just catch her when she falls. Isn't that what u said in ur blog? In order for u to love her properly if she ever comes back, 1st u must learn to love urself.
me: u could've just said that u know? =.=||| no need to go through all this talks.
and we continue yapping =.=.
Lesson learnt? nothing basically... it just reminded me about her. About the time we spent together, laughing and holding hands. I browse through the pictures i took with her. I can't believe its all over. Really, why does she have to leave?
Later that day, we touched on this topic.
me: bla bla bla... cos i hurt her and she needs a time out from me.
her: yea, a time out, so why did she leave?
me: she says she dun wanna come back to this hell hole. waiting for a guy to come home every nite.
her: ur gf, sorry, ur ex, is just too young, immature.. a time out is a time out, every couple have that once in awhile, specially when everything seems to just go so wrong at times. But a break up? ridiculous~ have u ever cheated on her?
me: no, but thinking back, there're words that i used that hurt her i guess..
her: that's why she's immature, she should understand that words aren't everything. I said i hate my ex alot of time too, i even called him a bastard. If he takes my word seriusly, then what about my actions when i'm with him? the time we kiss? wow! i'm kissing someone i dun even love. I must be a whore then?
me: lol... u dun have to go into that extent =.=
her: do u get my point now?
me: yea, i got it ^^, i'm sure she'll be pissed when she hear u saying that she's immature. hahaha...
me: i understand wat u're trying to say, but understand that she's only 19, yea... maybe immature abit, i am "immature" too, but i can't blame her rite? me being 24, i should know better and treat her better. Break things down to her gently... I know she's very fragile and yet, i handled her so roughly =.=
her: stop blaming urself wingz.
me: i'm not, we all make mistakes, i'm not saying that she's all rite too. i'm just saying that i'm learning from this that's all...
-end-
Just for my viewer's info, the sentences above are translated from mandarin language and some mixed english. The exact words might not be there, but the meanings are more or less the same.
To my fren: dun blame me, u dared me to blog it remember? =.=
Anyways, lesson supposed to be learn from all this is "learn to love yourself before you love others" am i rite? =)
I've been loving myself really.. Been going to gym, been eating healthy food. Tho i must admit i dun have the appetite to eat every time i thought of her, or rather, thought of us being together in the past. The days we spent on every occasions, Valentine's day, Anniversary, Birthdays, Chinese new year, and so on... Its really unforgettable and it'll always remain in my heart. But yea, i've been eating even when my appetite is in an all time low.
Cant explain how much i miss her anymore, Cant be bothered to think about how long more must i wait for her to come back. But i'm sure, like most people say, time is still ticking, i'll have to move on one day too. I gotta make a success in my career 1st else things wont change even if she comes back. Its just too bad she's not by my side going through all these changes with me. I understand, its hard for her, painful and everything, i wouldn't want her to go through it with me either. So i'll go through it myself and i'm keeping my promise baby, I'll catch u if ever u were to fall...
152 <3
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
New verse 4 - Its love...
Here's something that woke me up and made me decide what i should do next. It explained what is this feelings i'm having all these while. It explains why after so many complaints about her, i'm still missing her right now, wishing i could change something or make things better. God, u must really be playing me right now =.=
Is Your Love Genuine Or Fake?
“Buy Rolex. $20 only.”
A moustached guy offered it to me while walking in a busy street.
Wow. Didn’t Rolex watches sell at $5000 each?
Because he thought I was interested, the man opened his jacket and displayed other designer watches—such as Patek Phillip, Cartier, and Omega. “Choose what you want. $20 only each.”
That was shocking. I knew some high-end Patek watches cost $200,000. So how in the world could this man be selling them for $20?
Too bad for the watch guy, I don’t use watches. Stopped using them 25 years ago. To know the time, I look at the sun. On a cloudy day, I look at someone else’s watch.
But my buddy bought a $20 Rolex. It was a steal, he said.
Hey, it looked like a Rolex. It worked like a Rolex. It felt like a Rolex. But it wasn’t a Rolex.
Five months later, my friend was sad because his watch broke down. I told him, “What did you expect?”
Let me use this to explain why we have problems in our relationships.
How To Do The Great Switcheroo
Why do so many marriages have problems today?
Because many couples built their marriage on a pirated version of Love, not Love.
The pirated version of Love is Infatuation.
There was a time when I thought Infatuation was only for pimple-faced teenyboppers. Not true. Old fogies like myself aren’t exempted.
Not that Infatuation is a bad thing. It’s totally normal. Infatuation only becomes a bad thing if a person thinks it was Love.
I repeat: Infatuation is like a pirated copy of Love.
Foolish people think the pirated copy is real. When it breaks down, they panic or get depressed. They realize it’s fake. And their whole world crumbles.
Wise people know Infatuation is a pirated copy. They enjoy it while it lasts, but they know it was brittle and wouldn’t last. So secretly, they also bought the genuine article. (Note: Pirated versions are given; Real versions are bought. I’ll explain later.) So when the pirated version breaks down, the wise person does the great switcheroo. He pulls out the real thing.
Today, I’ll tell you how to spot the genuine from the fake.
I’ll describe the real deal—and how it’s the only thing that can save your marriage. But not only your marriage, but every other relationship you have.
Oh yes, so many people have relationship problems with their parents, or children, or siblings, or friends—because they don’t know what Real Love is.
I’m going to explain to you that Real Love is about dirty hands, not beating hearts.
Let me explain how this great switcheroo works…
“Ngooorrrk!”
“Father, we want to get married.”
When the engaged couple went to the priest to schedule their wedding, their hearts were beating for each other. It was so loud, the priest could actually hear it. “Dubdub. Dubdub. Dubdub.”
But he’s seen this before. How sweet lovebirds end up almost killing each other a year after the wedding. So he warned them, “As you know, feelings of love won’t last.”
And the couple said, “We know Father.”
But at the back of their minds, they’re saying, “We know Father that feelings of love won’t last for everyone else. But not for us. How can this feeling be fake when it’s as strong as a roaring volcano? It is as clear as the noonday sun, as eternal as the waves of the sea, as beautiful as the stars in the night sky.”
After the wedding ceremony, they have their honeymoon.
On their first night, the new husband watches his bride asleep, the moonlight streaming from the bedroom window onto her lovely face. He gazes at her long eyelashes, her pinkish cheeks, her parted lips. All of a sudden, she snores.
“Ngooorrrk.”
What does he say?
“How cute.”
Six months later, it’s the same scene.
They’re at home. The guy sees his wife asleep, with the moonlight streaming from the window onto her face. All of a sudden, she snores.
“Ngooorrrk.”
What does he say?
“How gross.”
What happened? Infatuation, the pirated version of love, disappeared. Real Love must now kick in.
But only if he has it.
Let me give you another example.
From Gazing To Gossiping
How do you know if a couple in the restaurant are not married?
Easy.
If they’re physically close, touching each other, hand to hand, eye to eye, nose to nose, bad breath to bad breath—they’re not married.
Look underneath their table, and if their legs are intertwined and they’re playing footsies together, they’re not married.
If they don’t look at anything else but each other, they’re not married.
If nuclear bombs fall right beside them and they won’t even notice, they’re not married.
If a flash flood engulfs the entire restaurant and all the guy could say was, “Sweetheart, I love the color of your eyes as it reflects the brownish floodwater around us,” you can bet your life, they’re not married.
And how do you know if a couple in a restaurant are married?
Easy.
If they’re seated far apart, so far a part, a six by six truck could pass in between them, they’re married.
If they look bored, they’re married.
If the whole night, all they do is talk about other people, they’re married. The wife whispers, “Don’t look at her, but the woman behind you is wearing fake eyelashes, fake jewellery, a fake Coach bag, fake anatomical parts, and a fake husband.” Being dense, the man turns around and asks, “Where? Where?”
Once upon a time, they had eyes only for one another.
Now, they barely look at each other.
What has happened? Infatuation, the pirated version of love, disappeared. Real Love must now kick in.
But only if they have it.
Spot The Difference
Let me now share five clear-as-daylight differences between Infatuation and Real Love:
1. Infatuation doesn’t require a decision. It just happens. You see a girl and boom—your hormones kick in and you want her. You don’t know why. It’s her dress. It’s the way her hair falls on her shoulder. It’s her smile. It’s the way she bites her fingernail. That’s why I said that pirated versions are free. But Real Love doesn’t just happen; Real Love requires a decision. That’s why Scott Peck says Real Love can only start after one has “fallen out of love.”
2. Infatuation, no matter what you do, lasts only for a season. You have these feelings of love swirling within you until something happens that breaks the spell. Maybe she’ll open her mouth. Maybe she’ll reveal her fangs. Maybe she’ll pick her nose. Maybe she’ll spend your money. Maybe she’ll introduce you to her mother. Maybe she gains 30 pounds. It could be anything. Infatuation can last for a few days or for a couple of years. But Real Love can last forever precisely because it’s a decision.
3. Infatuation is directed towards a figment of your imagination. You’re not attracted to a real person. You’re attracted to a projection of that person from your own imagination. Like Infatuation itself, you’re in love with a fake. But Real Love is directed towards a real person. You now know her strengths and weaknesses, and have accepted it all.
4. Infatuation is a spontaneous collapse of your boundaries. You get lost and you merge with the other. You’re enmeshed. You can’t survive without each other. But Real Love requires strengthening of both your boundaries; You actually don’t need each other, but you choose each other because you want to serve.
5. Infatuation is all about feelings. Dubdub. Dubdub. Dubdub. Cold palms, giddy spells, dazed looks, and feet on the clouds. But Real Love is about dirty hands. You don’t have to feelanything to love. Love is a verb, not just a feeling. Love is an action, not just a state. Let me repeat my message: I believe love is about dirty hands, not beating hearts. The essence of love isn’t feelings but service. Scott Peck says it so well—the opposite of love isn’t hatred; the opposite of love is laziness.
Your Physiology Affects Your Psychology
Here’s the thing.
I’ve found out that only mature people can love. Only mature people can do the great switcheroo when the pirated copy fails. They just pull out the genuine article.
Why? Only mature people have love within them.
Real Love has very little to do with the other person. A loving person can love because he is a loving person, not because the other person is lovable.
You may be asking me, “But Bo, is love dry? Isn’t there room for feelings?”
Of course, there is.
Here’s a secret mature people know in their hearts even if they don’t know it cognitively: Your physiology affects your psychology. Your feeling follows your action.
If we keep on doing acts of love, we increase our feelings of love. The more we “dirty our hands”, the more we find our “hearts beating” for the other.
To make this practical, let me share seven simple ways of dirtying your hands. They are (1) Help, (2) Prayer, (3) Presence, (4) Touch, (5) Words, (6) Gifts, and (7) Boundaries.
1. Help
Love means giving practical help.
If you’re a mother, I’m sure there are days when you wake up feeling blue and you don’t want to enter the kitchen. But fifteen minutes later, where are you? Cooking in the kitchen, because some little people will get hungry. You don’t feel like doing it. But you do it anyway. That’s love.
If you’re a husband, I’m sure there are days when you go home tired from work. But you see your kids. And even if all you want to do is lie down on the couch, you decide to play with them. You don’t feel like doing it. But you do it anyway. That’s love.
If you’re a child whose parents are older, I’m sure you want to help them. Sure, you’ve got your own problems now, but doesn’t stop you from serving them. You don’t feel like doing it. But you do it anyway. That’s love.
2. Prayer
Love means praying for your loved ones.
Perhaps your father was a horrible man. And you hate him. But you decide to pray for him.
Sooner or later, God will answer your prayer. God will change him, but He’ll change you first. Your father gets blessed, but you get blessed too. Ultimately, you become a more loving person.
You pray whether you feel like it or not.
That’s love.
3. Presence
Love means spending time together.
Not just being physically together, but also being emotionally together.
That could mean a father playing with his kids. Or a daughter visiting her aging parents. Or siblings going shopping together. Or friends laughing over pizza. Or a couple taking a walk.
There’ll be times when you won’t feel like bonding together.
But you do it anyway. That’s love.
4. Touch
Love means physical affection.
One day, a couple walking to work noticed a man passionately kissing a woman. “Why don’t you do that?” said the wife.
“Honey,” replied her husband, “I don’t even know that woman!”
People aren’t machines. They need to be touched. Holding hands, pats on the back, shoulder rubs, hugs, and kisses nourish and heal people more than you can possibly imagine.
Again, there’ll be days when you don’t want to kiss or hold hands or hug. But you do it anyway. That’s love.
5. Words
Love means verbal or written expressions.
When was the last time you told your husband, “Thank you for working so hard for our family”? When was the last time you told your wife, “Thank you for being a great mother to our kids”? When was the last time you told your mother, “Thanks for serving me all these years”? And when was the last time you actually said, “I love you”?
You might argue with me and say, “Bo, I don’t want to be a hypocrite. When I say it, I must feel it.”
Here’s my question: Are you just your emotions?
Or are you much more than your emotions? Are you also your spirit, your soul, your mind, your imagination, your will?
6. Gifts
Love means giving tokens—or symbols of love.
To you, your gift may mean nothing. But to another person, a small, inexpensive gift from you could mean the world.
7. Boundaries
Love means respecting the boundaries of the other.
Love means giving space to the other and letting the other person grow on her own. Love also means letting the other face her own responsibilities.
I like it when my wife goes out with her girlfriends each week. I like it when she takes up other interests. I like it when she grows and flourishes as an individual. I like it when she tells me, “Bo, I need some alone time. I’ll just go window shopping for awhile.” So I pray over her, “Lord, I claim in faith that she’ll be faithful to those words, that she will indeed go ‘window’ shopping only. Thank you, Lord, for this miracle!”
Love Is Service
Many years ago, I met Alice, a Filipina teacher in Brunei.
She was my host and took care of me while I was there. When I woke up early one morning, I noticed that she was on the phone. But she wasn’t speaking.
She explained that it was her beautiful ritual of love to her husband. Years ago, her husband suffered a stroke and he became paralyzed. So she went to Brunei to work for the family.
And what was this ritual of love? Alice would wake up at 4 in the morning to call her husband. (This was before the days of cell phones and text messages.) But because they could not afford long distance calls, they agreed that the husband was not to answer the phone.
Instead, the husband would allow the phone to ring.
And ring.
And ring.
He would allow the love of Alice, symbolized by the ringing, to fill their house and to fill his heart.
For 8 years straight, Alice did this beautiful ritual without fail.
Until he finally passed away.
That’s what love is.
Not like feelings that come and go.
Not like moods that are here today and gone tomorrow.
Love is simply done, day in and day out.
Because it’s eternal.
Constant.
Faithful.
It was Mother Teresa who said, “Service is a fruit of love”.
If you love, you will serve.
Go now, and like Mother Teresa, dirty your hands.
May your dreams come true.
-end-
Baby, i dun mind if u grow fat in the future, have pimples all over ur face. I dun mind if u have bad habits. I dun mind right now, and i wont mind in the future. That's what i came up with after thinking under normal circumstances.
If its becos i've hurt u so much, i would gladly make things better for you, u know i can do it rite?
Yea i was lazy to care about ur feelings at times, that's why i'm realizing it now. They say Real Love can only start after one has “fallen out of love.”
Remembered when i got u back, whenever we quarreled, we always brought up the past to talk about. I kept asking and asking u not to bring up the past, but i failed to realized that there's always a reason why u brought it up. I was hard headed, and sub-consciously i guess i always wanted to win.
They say men are from mars and women are from venus. Women do things through feelings and men do things through logic. I should've put myself in ur shoes and see wat u're feeling baby.
Nothing is ever too late, just as long as i still love you... one day, maybe we can all start over. I promise, i swear, i'll talk with u everyday, accompany u whenever i can. Even if i can't, i'll make an effort to... No matter how lazy i would get. I'll review this blog i made and go straight to u and tell u once again just how much i love you so...
But ofcos, I guess it all depends if u would wanna come back.... sigh*
152 <3
Is Your Love Genuine Or Fake?
“Buy Rolex. $20 only.”
A moustached guy offered it to me while walking in a busy street.
Wow. Didn’t Rolex watches sell at $5000 each?
Because he thought I was interested, the man opened his jacket and displayed other designer watches—such as Patek Phillip, Cartier, and Omega. “Choose what you want. $20 only each.”
That was shocking. I knew some high-end Patek watches cost $200,000. So how in the world could this man be selling them for $20?
Too bad for the watch guy, I don’t use watches. Stopped using them 25 years ago. To know the time, I look at the sun. On a cloudy day, I look at someone else’s watch.
But my buddy bought a $20 Rolex. It was a steal, he said.
Hey, it looked like a Rolex. It worked like a Rolex. It felt like a Rolex. But it wasn’t a Rolex.
Five months later, my friend was sad because his watch broke down. I told him, “What did you expect?”
Let me use this to explain why we have problems in our relationships.
How To Do The Great Switcheroo
Why do so many marriages have problems today?
Because many couples built their marriage on a pirated version of Love, not Love.
The pirated version of Love is Infatuation.
There was a time when I thought Infatuation was only for pimple-faced teenyboppers. Not true. Old fogies like myself aren’t exempted.
Not that Infatuation is a bad thing. It’s totally normal. Infatuation only becomes a bad thing if a person thinks it was Love.
I repeat: Infatuation is like a pirated copy of Love.
Foolish people think the pirated copy is real. When it breaks down, they panic or get depressed. They realize it’s fake. And their whole world crumbles.
Wise people know Infatuation is a pirated copy. They enjoy it while it lasts, but they know it was brittle and wouldn’t last. So secretly, they also bought the genuine article. (Note: Pirated versions are given; Real versions are bought. I’ll explain later.) So when the pirated version breaks down, the wise person does the great switcheroo. He pulls out the real thing.
Today, I’ll tell you how to spot the genuine from the fake.
I’ll describe the real deal—and how it’s the only thing that can save your marriage. But not only your marriage, but every other relationship you have.
Oh yes, so many people have relationship problems with their parents, or children, or siblings, or friends—because they don’t know what Real Love is.
I’m going to explain to you that Real Love is about dirty hands, not beating hearts.
Let me explain how this great switcheroo works…
“Ngooorrrk!”
“Father, we want to get married.”
When the engaged couple went to the priest to schedule their wedding, their hearts were beating for each other. It was so loud, the priest could actually hear it. “Dubdub. Dubdub. Dubdub.”
But he’s seen this before. How sweet lovebirds end up almost killing each other a year after the wedding. So he warned them, “As you know, feelings of love won’t last.”
And the couple said, “We know Father.”
But at the back of their minds, they’re saying, “We know Father that feelings of love won’t last for everyone else. But not for us. How can this feeling be fake when it’s as strong as a roaring volcano? It is as clear as the noonday sun, as eternal as the waves of the sea, as beautiful as the stars in the night sky.”
After the wedding ceremony, they have their honeymoon.
On their first night, the new husband watches his bride asleep, the moonlight streaming from the bedroom window onto her lovely face. He gazes at her long eyelashes, her pinkish cheeks, her parted lips. All of a sudden, she snores.
“Ngooorrrk.”
What does he say?
“How cute.”
Six months later, it’s the same scene.
They’re at home. The guy sees his wife asleep, with the moonlight streaming from the window onto her face. All of a sudden, she snores.
“Ngooorrrk.”
What does he say?
“How gross.”
What happened? Infatuation, the pirated version of love, disappeared. Real Love must now kick in.
But only if he has it.
Let me give you another example.
From Gazing To Gossiping
How do you know if a couple in the restaurant are not married?
Easy.
If they’re physically close, touching each other, hand to hand, eye to eye, nose to nose, bad breath to bad breath—they’re not married.
Look underneath their table, and if their legs are intertwined and they’re playing footsies together, they’re not married.
If they don’t look at anything else but each other, they’re not married.
If nuclear bombs fall right beside them and they won’t even notice, they’re not married.
If a flash flood engulfs the entire restaurant and all the guy could say was, “Sweetheart, I love the color of your eyes as it reflects the brownish floodwater around us,” you can bet your life, they’re not married.
And how do you know if a couple in a restaurant are married?
Easy.
If they’re seated far apart, so far a part, a six by six truck could pass in between them, they’re married.
If they look bored, they’re married.
If the whole night, all they do is talk about other people, they’re married. The wife whispers, “Don’t look at her, but the woman behind you is wearing fake eyelashes, fake jewellery, a fake Coach bag, fake anatomical parts, and a fake husband.” Being dense, the man turns around and asks, “Where? Where?”
Once upon a time, they had eyes only for one another.
Now, they barely look at each other.
What has happened? Infatuation, the pirated version of love, disappeared. Real Love must now kick in.
But only if they have it.
Spot The Difference
Let me now share five clear-as-daylight differences between Infatuation and Real Love:
1. Infatuation doesn’t require a decision. It just happens. You see a girl and boom—your hormones kick in and you want her. You don’t know why. It’s her dress. It’s the way her hair falls on her shoulder. It’s her smile. It’s the way she bites her fingernail. That’s why I said that pirated versions are free. But Real Love doesn’t just happen; Real Love requires a decision. That’s why Scott Peck says Real Love can only start after one has “fallen out of love.”
2. Infatuation, no matter what you do, lasts only for a season. You have these feelings of love swirling within you until something happens that breaks the spell. Maybe she’ll open her mouth. Maybe she’ll reveal her fangs. Maybe she’ll pick her nose. Maybe she’ll spend your money. Maybe she’ll introduce you to her mother. Maybe she gains 30 pounds. It could be anything. Infatuation can last for a few days or for a couple of years. But Real Love can last forever precisely because it’s a decision.
3. Infatuation is directed towards a figment of your imagination. You’re not attracted to a real person. You’re attracted to a projection of that person from your own imagination. Like Infatuation itself, you’re in love with a fake. But Real Love is directed towards a real person. You now know her strengths and weaknesses, and have accepted it all.
4. Infatuation is a spontaneous collapse of your boundaries. You get lost and you merge with the other. You’re enmeshed. You can’t survive without each other. But Real Love requires strengthening of both your boundaries; You actually don’t need each other, but you choose each other because you want to serve.
5. Infatuation is all about feelings. Dubdub. Dubdub. Dubdub. Cold palms, giddy spells, dazed looks, and feet on the clouds. But Real Love is about dirty hands. You don’t have to feelanything to love. Love is a verb, not just a feeling. Love is an action, not just a state. Let me repeat my message: I believe love is about dirty hands, not beating hearts. The essence of love isn’t feelings but service. Scott Peck says it so well—the opposite of love isn’t hatred; the opposite of love is laziness.
Your Physiology Affects Your Psychology
Here’s the thing.
I’ve found out that only mature people can love. Only mature people can do the great switcheroo when the pirated copy fails. They just pull out the genuine article.
Why? Only mature people have love within them.
Real Love has very little to do with the other person. A loving person can love because he is a loving person, not because the other person is lovable.
You may be asking me, “But Bo, is love dry? Isn’t there room for feelings?”
Of course, there is.
Here’s a secret mature people know in their hearts even if they don’t know it cognitively: Your physiology affects your psychology. Your feeling follows your action.
If we keep on doing acts of love, we increase our feelings of love. The more we “dirty our hands”, the more we find our “hearts beating” for the other.
To make this practical, let me share seven simple ways of dirtying your hands. They are (1) Help, (2) Prayer, (3) Presence, (4) Touch, (5) Words, (6) Gifts, and (7) Boundaries.
1. Help
Love means giving practical help.
If you’re a mother, I’m sure there are days when you wake up feeling blue and you don’t want to enter the kitchen. But fifteen minutes later, where are you? Cooking in the kitchen, because some little people will get hungry. You don’t feel like doing it. But you do it anyway. That’s love.
If you’re a husband, I’m sure there are days when you go home tired from work. But you see your kids. And even if all you want to do is lie down on the couch, you decide to play with them. You don’t feel like doing it. But you do it anyway. That’s love.
If you’re a child whose parents are older, I’m sure you want to help them. Sure, you’ve got your own problems now, but doesn’t stop you from serving them. You don’t feel like doing it. But you do it anyway. That’s love.
2. Prayer
Love means praying for your loved ones.
Perhaps your father was a horrible man. And you hate him. But you decide to pray for him.
Sooner or later, God will answer your prayer. God will change him, but He’ll change you first. Your father gets blessed, but you get blessed too. Ultimately, you become a more loving person.
You pray whether you feel like it or not.
That’s love.
3. Presence
Love means spending time together.
Not just being physically together, but also being emotionally together.
That could mean a father playing with his kids. Or a daughter visiting her aging parents. Or siblings going shopping together. Or friends laughing over pizza. Or a couple taking a walk.
There’ll be times when you won’t feel like bonding together.
But you do it anyway. That’s love.
4. Touch
Love means physical affection.
One day, a couple walking to work noticed a man passionately kissing a woman. “Why don’t you do that?” said the wife.
“Honey,” replied her husband, “I don’t even know that woman!”
People aren’t machines. They need to be touched. Holding hands, pats on the back, shoulder rubs, hugs, and kisses nourish and heal people more than you can possibly imagine.
Again, there’ll be days when you don’t want to kiss or hold hands or hug. But you do it anyway. That’s love.
5. Words
Love means verbal or written expressions.
When was the last time you told your husband, “Thank you for working so hard for our family”? When was the last time you told your wife, “Thank you for being a great mother to our kids”? When was the last time you told your mother, “Thanks for serving me all these years”? And when was the last time you actually said, “I love you”?
You might argue with me and say, “Bo, I don’t want to be a hypocrite. When I say it, I must feel it.”
Here’s my question: Are you just your emotions?
Or are you much more than your emotions? Are you also your spirit, your soul, your mind, your imagination, your will?
6. Gifts
Love means giving tokens—or symbols of love.
To you, your gift may mean nothing. But to another person, a small, inexpensive gift from you could mean the world.
7. Boundaries
Love means respecting the boundaries of the other.
Love means giving space to the other and letting the other person grow on her own. Love also means letting the other face her own responsibilities.
I like it when my wife goes out with her girlfriends each week. I like it when she takes up other interests. I like it when she grows and flourishes as an individual. I like it when she tells me, “Bo, I need some alone time. I’ll just go window shopping for awhile.” So I pray over her, “Lord, I claim in faith that she’ll be faithful to those words, that she will indeed go ‘window’ shopping only. Thank you, Lord, for this miracle!”
Love Is Service
Many years ago, I met Alice, a Filipina teacher in Brunei.
She was my host and took care of me while I was there. When I woke up early one morning, I noticed that she was on the phone. But she wasn’t speaking.
She explained that it was her beautiful ritual of love to her husband. Years ago, her husband suffered a stroke and he became paralyzed. So she went to Brunei to work for the family.
And what was this ritual of love? Alice would wake up at 4 in the morning to call her husband. (This was before the days of cell phones and text messages.) But because they could not afford long distance calls, they agreed that the husband was not to answer the phone.
Instead, the husband would allow the phone to ring.
And ring.
And ring.
He would allow the love of Alice, symbolized by the ringing, to fill their house and to fill his heart.
For 8 years straight, Alice did this beautiful ritual without fail.
Until he finally passed away.
That’s what love is.
Not like feelings that come and go.
Not like moods that are here today and gone tomorrow.
Love is simply done, day in and day out.
Because it’s eternal.
Constant.
Faithful.
It was Mother Teresa who said, “Service is a fruit of love”.
If you love, you will serve.
Go now, and like Mother Teresa, dirty your hands.
May your dreams come true.
-end-
Baby, i dun mind if u grow fat in the future, have pimples all over ur face. I dun mind if u have bad habits. I dun mind right now, and i wont mind in the future. That's what i came up with after thinking under normal circumstances.
If its becos i've hurt u so much, i would gladly make things better for you, u know i can do it rite?
Yea i was lazy to care about ur feelings at times, that's why i'm realizing it now. They say Real Love can only start after one has “fallen out of love.”
Remembered when i got u back, whenever we quarreled, we always brought up the past to talk about. I kept asking and asking u not to bring up the past, but i failed to realized that there's always a reason why u brought it up. I was hard headed, and sub-consciously i guess i always wanted to win.
They say men are from mars and women are from venus. Women do things through feelings and men do things through logic. I should've put myself in ur shoes and see wat u're feeling baby.
Nothing is ever too late, just as long as i still love you... one day, maybe we can all start over. I promise, i swear, i'll talk with u everyday, accompany u whenever i can. Even if i can't, i'll make an effort to... No matter how lazy i would get. I'll review this blog i made and go straight to u and tell u once again just how much i love you so...
But ofcos, I guess it all depends if u would wanna come back.... sigh*
152 <3
Tuesday, 3 November 2009
New verse 3 - What am i hiding?
Had a very bad conversation with her yesterday. We quarreled over facebook. Imagine that =.=.
The problem with her is, she dun change at all. Instead of understanding and forgiving, she still think she's right all the time, scolding with vulgar words and stuff.
Read her blog too, but i guess i wont be anymore from today on. She seemed very happy, the way she blog also seemed very happy and everything. But i know her. (*i think)
Yea she's a sweet girl, but once things dun go her way. Watch out.
She said someone "sucks balls". I gotta say WOW! that's a new word. Guess the one not changing at all seems to be someone else. *sigh
I've gone through that, tried to settle it with her in a nice way before and it didn't worked out, guess she feels powerful when i'm like soft and tender, and i feel powerful when she's like soft and tender too. Something i think both of us should learn better.
I know, after all the things i put her through. Trying to change her bad habits aint working at all. When we're together, she dun usually say "fuck, suck" and other shits even when she's mad. Guess when u caged a tiger up too long, It'll go wild once u set it free.
Remembered the time when we're so in love, things seems to be working out just fine. We're willing to try to understand each other and work things out. We change for each other, trying to suppress those bad habits. But i guess i've made a mistake. I should've accepted it that way instead of changing it. So, i'm sorry i guess?
She forced herself to forget me for a month, while knowing that we should just sit down and work things out. I dunno wat to say to that actually. But i guess she dun love me? or maybe she wanted something new in life again. Leaving me was the right choice, she kept repeating to her self. But issit really?
I used to think, even until now, that letting her go was the right choice. But sometimes, i still think otherwise. Not all girls are like her, sticking with u everywhere u go, loyal, and loving. I know she's the best girlfriend i could ever had in life, just as long as i treated her with proper care.
I guess i wasn't mad reading her blog, but rather, sad and hurt.
In her mail, she said alot of "thank you", nice words and sounded very reasonable in a way. But after reading her blog, i'm beginning to think that she's still just the way she was. Just wilder.
Issit me or is she hiding something in her heart still? I just can't help but feel that way. Maybe i was too close with her for too long.
Well, i have something i've been hiding. No point saying it now, guess i'll just have to accept the fact that she's gone now.
Just 2 days ago, i had a chat with my fren. He said "u build a bridge hoping to cross it with her. Now that the bridge is finished, she's gonna cross with someone else", and he laughed.
I told him, I'm the one that build the bridge, i'm the one with the experience now, so maybe next time, i can build it faster and better and cross it with either her or someone else i love in the future ^^.
Had another chat with a fren today. He said "if you love her, u wished for her to be happy rite?" i answered "yes". Then he said, if she's not happy with you, what would you do? i answered "i'll change. just as long as she tell me the problems. as long as we get to sit down and talk it over properly, i'll do anything for her". Then he asked again "so what if after all the changes and she's still not happy?". I was speechless for awhile and below are my conclusion:
* Everyone change for the better. But if one changes and the others don't, it wont work. It require both to change, to think in a more mature way. Its called growing up together. If it doesn't work, means there's something wrong.
so what could it be?
Changes take place when one knows each other's mistakes and only after proper communication will changes be effective. Else, it wont... * -end-
They say when u're lazy, love fades. I admit, i was lazy. I used to love talking to u so much. Not being able to hear ur voice for a day, i'd die. But as time goes by, pressure started to build up, i'm concerned about the wedding i'm suppose to give u, concerned about the things i should've bought u, concerned about the promises that i've made. I kept all these to myself, hoping that u'll realise. I should've known better and just talk it out with you whenever we're together. Just like how u kept ur feelings to urself baby, u should've talked it out with me. If i aint serius, scold me and get me serius baby, cos i know u love me then. We could've been together for many more years to come, getting happier and happier if only we had communicated properly. Maybe its my fault, i'm the elder one, i should know better how i should communicate with you baby... I'm sorry.
If our communication after this break up will work out, will u come back then?
Baby, i really dun like it when u say those vulgar words when u're angry. I'd really prefer it if u could've just reason it out or at least try to control it? =). Not only will this benefit me, but urself as well. But no one is perfect like u said.
I guess I love the perfection of your imperfections.
152 <3
The problem with her is, she dun change at all. Instead of understanding and forgiving, she still think she's right all the time, scolding with vulgar words and stuff.
Read her blog too, but i guess i wont be anymore from today on. She seemed very happy, the way she blog also seemed very happy and everything. But i know her. (*i think)
Yea she's a sweet girl, but once things dun go her way. Watch out.
She said someone "sucks balls". I gotta say WOW! that's a new word. Guess the one not changing at all seems to be someone else. *sigh
I've gone through that, tried to settle it with her in a nice way before and it didn't worked out, guess she feels powerful when i'm like soft and tender, and i feel powerful when she's like soft and tender too. Something i think both of us should learn better.
I know, after all the things i put her through. Trying to change her bad habits aint working at all. When we're together, she dun usually say "fuck, suck" and other shits even when she's mad. Guess when u caged a tiger up too long, It'll go wild once u set it free.
Remembered the time when we're so in love, things seems to be working out just fine. We're willing to try to understand each other and work things out. We change for each other, trying to suppress those bad habits. But i guess i've made a mistake. I should've accepted it that way instead of changing it. So, i'm sorry i guess?
She forced herself to forget me for a month, while knowing that we should just sit down and work things out. I dunno wat to say to that actually. But i guess she dun love me? or maybe she wanted something new in life again. Leaving me was the right choice, she kept repeating to her self. But issit really?
I used to think, even until now, that letting her go was the right choice. But sometimes, i still think otherwise. Not all girls are like her, sticking with u everywhere u go, loyal, and loving. I know she's the best girlfriend i could ever had in life, just as long as i treated her with proper care.
I guess i wasn't mad reading her blog, but rather, sad and hurt.
In her mail, she said alot of "thank you", nice words and sounded very reasonable in a way. But after reading her blog, i'm beginning to think that she's still just the way she was. Just wilder.
Issit me or is she hiding something in her heart still? I just can't help but feel that way. Maybe i was too close with her for too long.
Well, i have something i've been hiding. No point saying it now, guess i'll just have to accept the fact that she's gone now.
Just 2 days ago, i had a chat with my fren. He said "u build a bridge hoping to cross it with her. Now that the bridge is finished, she's gonna cross with someone else", and he laughed.
I told him, I'm the one that build the bridge, i'm the one with the experience now, so maybe next time, i can build it faster and better and cross it with either her or someone else i love in the future ^^.
Had another chat with a fren today. He said "if you love her, u wished for her to be happy rite?" i answered "yes". Then he said, if she's not happy with you, what would you do? i answered "i'll change. just as long as she tell me the problems. as long as we get to sit down and talk it over properly, i'll do anything for her". Then he asked again "so what if after all the changes and she's still not happy?". I was speechless for awhile and below are my conclusion:
* Everyone change for the better. But if one changes and the others don't, it wont work. It require both to change, to think in a more mature way. Its called growing up together. If it doesn't work, means there's something wrong.
so what could it be?
Changes take place when one knows each other's mistakes and only after proper communication will changes be effective. Else, it wont... * -end-
They say when u're lazy, love fades. I admit, i was lazy. I used to love talking to u so much. Not being able to hear ur voice for a day, i'd die. But as time goes by, pressure started to build up, i'm concerned about the wedding i'm suppose to give u, concerned about the things i should've bought u, concerned about the promises that i've made. I kept all these to myself, hoping that u'll realise. I should've known better and just talk it out with you whenever we're together. Just like how u kept ur feelings to urself baby, u should've talked it out with me. If i aint serius, scold me and get me serius baby, cos i know u love me then. We could've been together for many more years to come, getting happier and happier if only we had communicated properly. Maybe its my fault, i'm the elder one, i should know better how i should communicate with you baby... I'm sorry.
If our communication after this break up will work out, will u come back then?
Baby, i really dun like it when u say those vulgar words when u're angry. I'd really prefer it if u could've just reason it out or at least try to control it? =). Not only will this benefit me, but urself as well. But no one is perfect like u said.
I guess I love the perfection of your imperfections.
152 <3
New verse 2 - Something i can learn from.
Sunday was suppose to be our day together as always, and i'm stucked at home wondering what she's doing =.= ironic how things turned out to be.
I decided to went to gym later that day around 2 pm. And on the way to gym there are 2 red cars that pass me by with the plate license number "152". I smiled, and gave a bit of laugh... what is god really trying to do to me?
The day passes with me finishing gym and staying home playing a game of "GO" with my fren.
This morning when i reached the office, my partner was using my pc, she opened up a website talking about some stories. She went off to her own pc and left the website open, so i went and read it. I got slapped on the face when i read the parts below:
Two Levels Of Acceptance
The first level of acceptance is tolerance.
The second level is appreciation.
Let me tell you a story.
Jean came up to me one day and said, “Bo, can I share something with you? My story might help women you talk to.”
Jean said that her husband is addicted to watching basketball. She told me that it drove her insane. “Brother Bo, there was a time when his passion for watching basketball made me so angry. I would nag him, I would throw pots and pans in his direction, I would hide the TV remote control—just so he can’t watch.”
She told him, “I think basketball has become your god. And the churches you attend are NBA, PBA, PBL, NCAA, and UAAP. All you talk about is basketball.” And her husband would answer back, “Foul yan.”
“But after a couple of years,” Jean said, “I just gave up. I realized that nothing was going to happen. That he will never change.”
That was the day when Jean began to tolerate her husband’s passion for basketball. Whenever she saw him sitting in front of the TV watching a game, she felt less irritation in her heart.
But one day, Jean had a bigger epiphany.
That fateful morning, Jean’s best friend called her up crying hysterically on the phone. Through many tears, she said that she discovered her husband was having an affair. After an hour of trying to comfort her, Jean’s friend said, “I wish my husband was like your husband, Jean—so faithful to you.”
That one sentence was like a slap on her face.
She woke up.
Jean realized she was blind to the great blessing that her husband was to her.
Because she was so focused on his basketball addiction, she never appreciated how faithful her husband was to her.
She also began to count the many ways he was a wonderful husband: He was hard-working, he loved the kids, he went with her to her prayer meetings, and he was sweet in his own manly, clumsy way.
Today, she sometimes joins him watching basketball.
She still doesn’t appreciate the game. She told her husband once, “Why don’t they just give one ball to each team?” But she enjoys being with her wonderful husband now.
That day, Jean moved from tolerance to appreciation.
And that was the day her marriage became very happy.
-end-
I've been trying to change my girl's temper so much that i didn't realise all her good points.
She was loyal, have a smile that would warm my heart for the whole year, funny in her own way, sweet, and loving.
So tell me, what is god really trying to do? Ask me to wait for her? Give me regrets? Ask me to learn from this?
They say god loves us in many ways and that what we wished for wholeheartedly he will fulfill it for us. So god, can i ask u for one wish? can i have her back..?
152 <3
I decided to went to gym later that day around 2 pm. And on the way to gym there are 2 red cars that pass me by with the plate license number "152". I smiled, and gave a bit of laugh... what is god really trying to do to me?
The day passes with me finishing gym and staying home playing a game of "GO" with my fren.
This morning when i reached the office, my partner was using my pc, she opened up a website talking about some stories. She went off to her own pc and left the website open, so i went and read it. I got slapped on the face when i read the parts below:
Two Levels Of Acceptance
The first level of acceptance is tolerance.
The second level is appreciation.
Let me tell you a story.
Jean came up to me one day and said, “Bo, can I share something with you? My story might help women you talk to.”
Jean said that her husband is addicted to watching basketball. She told me that it drove her insane. “Brother Bo, there was a time when his passion for watching basketball made me so angry. I would nag him, I would throw pots and pans in his direction, I would hide the TV remote control—just so he can’t watch.”
She told him, “I think basketball has become your god. And the churches you attend are NBA, PBA, PBL, NCAA, and UAAP. All you talk about is basketball.” And her husband would answer back, “Foul yan.”
“But after a couple of years,” Jean said, “I just gave up. I realized that nothing was going to happen. That he will never change.”
That was the day when Jean began to tolerate her husband’s passion for basketball. Whenever she saw him sitting in front of the TV watching a game, she felt less irritation in her heart.
But one day, Jean had a bigger epiphany.
That fateful morning, Jean’s best friend called her up crying hysterically on the phone. Through many tears, she said that she discovered her husband was having an affair. After an hour of trying to comfort her, Jean’s friend said, “I wish my husband was like your husband, Jean—so faithful to you.”
That one sentence was like a slap on her face.
She woke up.
Jean realized she was blind to the great blessing that her husband was to her.
Because she was so focused on his basketball addiction, she never appreciated how faithful her husband was to her.
She also began to count the many ways he was a wonderful husband: He was hard-working, he loved the kids, he went with her to her prayer meetings, and he was sweet in his own manly, clumsy way.
Today, she sometimes joins him watching basketball.
She still doesn’t appreciate the game. She told her husband once, “Why don’t they just give one ball to each team?” But she enjoys being with her wonderful husband now.
That day, Jean moved from tolerance to appreciation.
And that was the day her marriage became very happy.
-end-
I've been trying to change my girl's temper so much that i didn't realise all her good points.
She was loyal, have a smile that would warm my heart for the whole year, funny in her own way, sweet, and loving.
So tell me, what is god really trying to do? Ask me to wait for her? Give me regrets? Ask me to learn from this?
They say god loves us in many ways and that what we wished for wholeheartedly he will fulfill it for us. So god, can i ask u for one wish? can i have her back..?
152 <3
Sunday, 1 November 2009
New verse 1 - I'm missing you badly
Once upon a time, i used to have a great gf. She had a hard temper, a perfect smile, attractive eyes and an attitude that i wont get bored of.
Everytime she goes mad at something totally unreasonable, i would get pissed too. I guess both our tempers are bad. Being together is the last thing we should do. That's wat we all thought. But what about the good times?
When she cry, when she felt betrayed, i was there and it hurts me just as deeply. The hugs we gave each other that time is enuff to ease the pain eventho its only for awhile, giving it room to prepare for the fights ahead. The kisses that we gave was enuff to tell each other we'll be together for the rest of our life. Enough to let each other knows "I truely love you"
One day, she hurts me very bad and ask me to leave, so i left. When she wants me back, i told her i couldn't anymore, but i could've made the effort to. Just becos i thought she wont ever leave me... Just becos of that stupid thoughts, i hurt her deeply when all i really want was for her to be strong. I was too self-confident, too dumb.
I got caught up with work, with the thoughts of giving us a better future. But i never thought about what if i loose her.
Yes, i once had a great gf. She had a hard temper, a perfect smile, attractive eyes and an attitude that i wont get bored of. And she left me becos i couldn't understand her...
Its not that i dun understand her... but rather i failed to treat her the way i should. All becos i expected too much from her. All becos of my stupid self-centered ego.
Yes, we've hurt each other deeply before. That's why it'll be different this time around. But i guess there wont be a "this time around" anytime soon.
I'll always be here for her if she needed me again. As a fren / as a lover no one knows.
I'm missing her so badly right now, she told me she misses me from time to time, thinking twice about coming back. So why didn't she? she said its becos she don't want to be hurt again, don't want these never ending heartbreak, and seeing our never changing self, she got tired.
They say love is like picking a stone. She picked me and i picked her, this is fate. Then we started carving each other to become the shape that we want. Time and efforts are needed here, so we wont start carving unless we're sure this is the stone that we would want for the rest of our life.
She was the one i wanted for the rest of my life. There are alot of things that i regret doing. Specially leaving her at home alone while i was out. People make mistakes, and i've learnt from it so why wont she return? If no one was there to interrupt will she return then?
Yes, i once have a, in my eyes, a perfect gf. She had a hard temper, a perfect smile, attractive eyes and an attitude that i wont get bored of. And now she's gone...
-end-
I hope one day, our path will cross again.
Then i'll review this blog everyday, to remind myself just how important you are to me. Just how badly i needed u in my life so that i wont mistreat u ever again.
Everlasting - 152 <3 Baby Laopo.
Everytime she goes mad at something totally unreasonable, i would get pissed too. I guess both our tempers are bad. Being together is the last thing we should do. That's wat we all thought. But what about the good times?
When she cry, when she felt betrayed, i was there and it hurts me just as deeply. The hugs we gave each other that time is enuff to ease the pain eventho its only for awhile, giving it room to prepare for the fights ahead. The kisses that we gave was enuff to tell each other we'll be together for the rest of our life. Enough to let each other knows "I truely love you"
One day, she hurts me very bad and ask me to leave, so i left. When she wants me back, i told her i couldn't anymore, but i could've made the effort to. Just becos i thought she wont ever leave me... Just becos of that stupid thoughts, i hurt her deeply when all i really want was for her to be strong. I was too self-confident, too dumb.
I got caught up with work, with the thoughts of giving us a better future. But i never thought about what if i loose her.
Yes, i once had a great gf. She had a hard temper, a perfect smile, attractive eyes and an attitude that i wont get bored of. And she left me becos i couldn't understand her...
Its not that i dun understand her... but rather i failed to treat her the way i should. All becos i expected too much from her. All becos of my stupid self-centered ego.
Yes, we've hurt each other deeply before. That's why it'll be different this time around. But i guess there wont be a "this time around" anytime soon.
I'll always be here for her if she needed me again. As a fren / as a lover no one knows.
I'm missing her so badly right now, she told me she misses me from time to time, thinking twice about coming back. So why didn't she? she said its becos she don't want to be hurt again, don't want these never ending heartbreak, and seeing our never changing self, she got tired.
They say love is like picking a stone. She picked me and i picked her, this is fate. Then we started carving each other to become the shape that we want. Time and efforts are needed here, so we wont start carving unless we're sure this is the stone that we would want for the rest of our life.
She was the one i wanted for the rest of my life. There are alot of things that i regret doing. Specially leaving her at home alone while i was out. People make mistakes, and i've learnt from it so why wont she return? If no one was there to interrupt will she return then?
Yes, i once have a, in my eyes, a perfect gf. She had a hard temper, a perfect smile, attractive eyes and an attitude that i wont get bored of. And now she's gone...
-end-
I hope one day, our path will cross again.
Then i'll review this blog everyday, to remind myself just how important you are to me. Just how badly i needed u in my life so that i wont mistreat u ever again.
Everlasting - 152 <3 Baby Laopo.
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