Verse 11 - Pain i deserved

Chatted with her today, about something she wants me to delete. She said that since we're not together anymore, better just delete it.

At one point, i hesitated cos i was thinking, what if we got together again? But i guess in the end, i ended up deleting it =.=.

We had yet another painful conversation today. Well, painful for me anyways. I saw it coming actually, guess i deserve it too after all the things i've put her through. heh, this reminds me of the song by Akon - Be with you "and no one knows the things we've been through, can never measure up to half of what i put u through".

She said she dun feel for me anymore, that she's not happy with me, that our personalities aren't matching, and a whole bunch of other stuff. I dunno what i can reply her... so maybe here i can say it?

We've been together for 3 years plus just to say we aren't meant for each other.
The person who made you cry, is the one that can make you laugh again.
The person who made you laugh is the one that can give u happiness.
We've been through so much, changed so much, just so that in the end, we can give up and say we dun match...

I understand that she's tired u know... tired of worrying tired of being hurt.
Would i really do those to the person i love most intentionally?

In the conversation between me and her, i can feel that she's very angry at me. Enuff to say that she hates me for treating her the way i did.
At the same time, maybe, angry at me for always noticing only when its too late...

I dunno what else to say, i dunno how else i can convince her to come back this time around. I really wanted to show her what our new relationship will be like. I really wanted to make everything up to her again.

Its like, what i say, it doesn't get through to her. Understandable really. Before i chase her back that time, i told her that things would be different, i dunno maybe to her things are still the same? But i never bought anyone a ring before u know, this might be a tiny prove that things aren't the same as before rite?

I dunno to her a ring has what meaning in it, but to me its something so important that i would never thought of buying for anyone other then the one i wanna spent my life taking care of... haii... baby, where are u now? =(

She keeps saying that she dun have the feel towards me anymore. That i'm not the type of guy she wants to be with. But we've been together for 3 years plus just to end up here today saying all these.... *sigh* She even told me that she likes someone else already and asked me to move on.... =(

It hurts really, hurts alot... but what can i do? i dun have the rights to complain since this all started becos of me. I know i've hurt her quite deep by neglecting her, maybe this is punishment then? i dunno...

If this really is punishment, i would gladly take all the pain for myself if she would come back in the end...

baby, how i miss u so...

152 <3