I thought i could get her back if i wanted to. I hesitate a lot of times, and sometimes i just stopped trying. But i never realized the result would be the same even if i tried.
Damn, can't believe i love her so much. For what? Wat good will it bring me?
A lot of times, i mistreated her. Never really been a good bf at all. The things i said, even tho i knew it was against her thoughts, i said it anyways. What was my aim anyways? why was i so dumb?
Remembered i said to never regret, to treat her good even tho she got a new guy. But i jst couldn't do it. Does that mean i'm useless? To forget her, i broke contact with her. I believe its the only way i could get my mind off her, but instead its the direct opposite. I'm sure i'll feel better soon... but when? Can't stop thinking about her. Can't stop thinking that i could've done so much better.
Why does she have to count the numbers of chances she gave me? If she loves me, why can't she forgive and forget? Why can't she just trust that i'll make everything alrite again?
She said she was tired so many times, i know, i know, i really know. But i want her to know that she wont feel this way this time around. I want her to know so badly that i tried going against her thoughts, her will...
How dumb can i get? =.=|| i only think properly when i wasn't in contact with her. Everytime we chat, talk and stuff, i tend to be very panic and rushing things... I dun know how she can just forget about me.
She told me she took a month to totally forget about me. FORCING herself to forget me... when she could've just gave me another chance to make her feel loved again.
Maybe this is for the better. That's what most people said. It might be true too. Maybe i'm just afraid. Afraid that i can't find someone like her again. Loyal, honest and true. Thoughts of getting cheated, not being able to find someone whom would give me chances again and again, stick with me everywhere i go.
I should've treasured her more... sigh****
Everytime she was mad, i know i should've hug her tight, kiss her and say nice words.
Everytime she was being unreasonable, i know i should've just smile and say i'm sorry.
Everytime she wanted something, i know i should've made the effort of getting it for her.
Everytime she is sad, i know i should've been by her side more.
Everytime she's out with me and my frens, i shouldn't had said anything that would put her mood down.
I guess its all too late now...
Maybe one day we'll be together again?
Most likely not when i found a new one i guess...
Either way, i know we both shouldn't regret the decisions made today.
We were so meant to be. She knows it, i knows it. Still, it ended up this way...
If only i did wat i should've done...
Come back baby, come back again... at least for awhile... to see the difference.
Guess she's just too afraid to be hurt again.
152 <3
Saturday, 31 October 2009
Monday, 26 October 2009
Random Verse - This feeling is killing me
I know i said i'll not blog anymore, but dam, i really need to blog this out. I've been struggling over something recently or rather since 2 months ago. =.=
Sometimes i'm afraid, and sometimes i feel regrets. I dunno what to do, whether to get her back or not. Even if i wanna get her back, will she come back or not. Even if she come back, will we still be the same as before or not. All these random thoughts have been bugging me and its effecting the way i chat with her, treat her and everything.
Remember i mentioned a fren whom has problems with his gf? well, i asked him once "why are u so in love with you gf?" people always tends to say "i dunno" but that's not it. I believe that u love someone for a reason, its impossible that there's no reason behind it rite? some tend to say "everything about her" but still they complain certain things about her. But my fren said "i dunno, everything about her i guess, i love the way she call my name, i love the way she stick around, i jst felt like protecting her cos she's very vunerable"
I guess that would be my answer too. sigh*
I can't deny that i love her alot. Pictures that we took together still lingers with me. Remembered her mom wanted pictures of the 2 of us together, and we took it, edit it and printed it out. Are the pictures still with her? i can't tell. What is she thinking anyways? does she still misses me? does she still care about me?
Why do i love her so much when there're so much problems in between? I guess the reasons below are enuff to ignore all the problems and give me strenght to continue on with her:
. i love the way she call my name.
. i love the way she stick around all the time.
. i love the way she asked me to help her out with something.
. i love the way she smiles.
. i love the face she showed when she's done being mad at me.
. i love the way we kissed.
. i love the way we hug together.
. i love the face she showed when she sleeps.
. i guess, i love everything about her.
. She made me feel like protecting her for the rest of my life.
In reality, the phrase "i dunno why i love her" seems to derive becos the reasons that one person love someone is enough to cover up all problems between them.
Baby when are u coming back? Can't u see i'm in hell without you by my side? sigh* i guess i haven't really done anything to show how much i love her, my sincerity... Guess i'm still very uncertain what i should do.
To do, or not to do, that is the question... =.=
i love you baby,
152 <3
Sometimes i'm afraid, and sometimes i feel regrets. I dunno what to do, whether to get her back or not. Even if i wanna get her back, will she come back or not. Even if she come back, will we still be the same as before or not. All these random thoughts have been bugging me and its effecting the way i chat with her, treat her and everything.
Remember i mentioned a fren whom has problems with his gf? well, i asked him once "why are u so in love with you gf?" people always tends to say "i dunno" but that's not it. I believe that u love someone for a reason, its impossible that there's no reason behind it rite? some tend to say "everything about her" but still they complain certain things about her. But my fren said "i dunno, everything about her i guess, i love the way she call my name, i love the way she stick around, i jst felt like protecting her cos she's very vunerable"
I guess that would be my answer too. sigh*
I can't deny that i love her alot. Pictures that we took together still lingers with me. Remembered her mom wanted pictures of the 2 of us together, and we took it, edit it and printed it out. Are the pictures still with her? i can't tell. What is she thinking anyways? does she still misses me? does she still care about me?
Why do i love her so much when there're so much problems in between? I guess the reasons below are enuff to ignore all the problems and give me strenght to continue on with her:
. i love the way she call my name.
. i love the way she stick around all the time.
. i love the way she asked me to help her out with something.
. i love the way she smiles.
. i love the face she showed when she's done being mad at me.
. i love the way we kissed.
. i love the way we hug together.
. i love the face she showed when she sleeps.
. i guess, i love everything about her.
. She made me feel like protecting her for the rest of my life.
In reality, the phrase "i dunno why i love her" seems to derive becos the reasons that one person love someone is enough to cover up all problems between them.
Baby when are u coming back? Can't u see i'm in hell without you by my side? sigh* i guess i haven't really done anything to show how much i love her, my sincerity... Guess i'm still very uncertain what i should do.
To do, or not to do, that is the question... =.=
i love you baby,
152 <3
Tuesday, 20 October 2009
Final Verse - My choice
Its been i dunno how long since me and her broke up, seems to me that she's doing fine without me. Happier maybe? i'm glad to see that. I am still wondering until today if i could give her more happiness than now, but i guess i wouldn't know until we're back together again.
I felt like blogging this last post after so long. Things i've seen, things i've been through.
A fren of mine also had some problems with his gf, but i'm in no position to give advice i guess. Funny, i feel like blogging but i dun have words to say.
Baby, how've u been really? I miss u badly u know? Thought that keeping my distance from her is a good idea. But i guess it has a good and bad side to it. Now i dunno how to start a conversation with her. It'll be easier if she could just come back right now so i can give her a big hug.
Been flirting around lately, but all these are just temporary to get my mind off her =.= i guess. Even when flirting, i tend to hold back certain topics or words to say =.= hopeless*
Am i really fixated on one girl? what would happen if i got her back?
i dunno but i guess i've made my choice.
I love you baby
Can't believe i still do after all these time =.=
until my heart dies from this break up, only then will i be able to really flirt around. God knows when =.=||| sigh*
At last,
152 <3
Thanks peeps for tuning in...
I felt like blogging this last post after so long. Things i've seen, things i've been through.
A fren of mine also had some problems with his gf, but i'm in no position to give advice i guess. Funny, i feel like blogging but i dun have words to say.
Baby, how've u been really? I miss u badly u know? Thought that keeping my distance from her is a good idea. But i guess it has a good and bad side to it. Now i dunno how to start a conversation with her. It'll be easier if she could just come back right now so i can give her a big hug.
Been flirting around lately, but all these are just temporary to get my mind off her =.= i guess. Even when flirting, i tend to hold back certain topics or words to say =.= hopeless*
Am i really fixated on one girl? what would happen if i got her back?
i dunno but i guess i've made my choice.
I love you baby
Can't believe i still do after all these time =.=
until my heart dies from this break up, only then will i be able to really flirt around. God knows when =.=||| sigh*
At last,
152 <3
Thanks peeps for tuning in...
Thursday, 1 October 2009
Verse 15 - 15, 2 <3
I guess this is the final post, I've pretty much showed how much i love her, what i would do to have her back in my arms again, what i've realized from my mistakes and how i would change in this relationship again. If what she said is true, then with all these intentions, all these changes, maybe i still wont be the type of guy she wants to be with.
Verse 15, 15th was the date we got together, the 2 = february, it also means 2 person. It takes 2 to love and everything.
From today on, i'll focus alot on my objectives, my daily routine. I know, i might not get a chance to have her back, i might meet another girl in the future as well. But all in all, i'll love her till i can't love her anymore. I'll do wat i can to get her back until i can't anymore.
Dunno when will i finally let go or give up but hey, at least i tried my best rite? ^^
I've learnt alot of my mistakes, if she's not the one i can change for then at least i'll get to treat my future girl rite, rite?
I understand that its good to take time apart, i know, so i'll do wat i can till she comes back, IF she comes back. ^^ in the mean time, i'll try to be a fren she wants me to be. I'll try my best to be there when she really needs me... hope she still need me =(
I've never thought this break up was proper, but she does have a point. Why be with a person whom u dun love anymore rite? but i thought "love" can slowly develope? We've been together for 3 and a half years, i should be able to bring it back rite? i hope so...
I dunno, but whatever the answer is, its fated i guess.
I asked her out for a movie on friday/tuesday. She replied saying that she promised someone to go out on friday already. I didn't mentioned "what about tuesday" tho, maybe i was just too depressed? i dunno...
Anyways, here are my last words:
To baby,
Thanks baby, the past 3 years plus had really been a memorable moments and a dream come true as well. We shared alot of feelings together, feelings that mostly we've never experienced before. We took Lust, hate, love, pain, joy, deception, betrayal, lies and forgiveness to the next level didn't we?
Remembered what i said before? You're god's gift for me, and well, i guess i failed to treasure u more than i should. I'm sorry baby... sorry that i failed to make u feel the way u should be feeling, sorry that i failed to make u one of the luckiest girl.
I guess i've finally understood ur feelings now. How painful u must've felt when the person u love aint the one picking u up to school and back, when the person u love is spending more time with frens than with u...
I could have realized earlier that all u want is me by ur side most of the time. sharing with you your problems and also giving u the warmth that u should be feeling.
I know i'm not a very good bf to you for the past years and i hope i'll get the chance to make it up to you someday.
Like i've said before, i've really learnt my lesson le. I know what i should do when u're angry, down or emotional... I just wished you could see it.
Regrets aint gonna do any good, so i wont regret. I'll do a better job next time around.
Till the end, I love you baby laopo <3
p/s: oh yea, i'm still using the cup u gave me ^^ and i'm glad u like the ring.
152 <3
-end-
Verse 15, 15th was the date we got together, the 2 = february, it also means 2 person. It takes 2 to love and everything.
From today on, i'll focus alot on my objectives, my daily routine. I know, i might not get a chance to have her back, i might meet another girl in the future as well. But all in all, i'll love her till i can't love her anymore. I'll do wat i can to get her back until i can't anymore.
Dunno when will i finally let go or give up but hey, at least i tried my best rite? ^^
I've learnt alot of my mistakes, if she's not the one i can change for then at least i'll get to treat my future girl rite, rite?
I understand that its good to take time apart, i know, so i'll do wat i can till she comes back, IF she comes back. ^^ in the mean time, i'll try to be a fren she wants me to be. I'll try my best to be there when she really needs me... hope she still need me =(
I've never thought this break up was proper, but she does have a point. Why be with a person whom u dun love anymore rite? but i thought "love" can slowly develope? We've been together for 3 and a half years, i should be able to bring it back rite? i hope so...
I dunno, but whatever the answer is, its fated i guess.
I asked her out for a movie on friday/tuesday. She replied saying that she promised someone to go out on friday already. I didn't mentioned "what about tuesday" tho, maybe i was just too depressed? i dunno...
Anyways, here are my last words:
To baby,
Thanks baby, the past 3 years plus had really been a memorable moments and a dream come true as well. We shared alot of feelings together, feelings that mostly we've never experienced before. We took Lust, hate, love, pain, joy, deception, betrayal, lies and forgiveness to the next level didn't we?
Remembered what i said before? You're god's gift for me, and well, i guess i failed to treasure u more than i should. I'm sorry baby... sorry that i failed to make u feel the way u should be feeling, sorry that i failed to make u one of the luckiest girl.
I guess i've finally understood ur feelings now. How painful u must've felt when the person u love aint the one picking u up to school and back, when the person u love is spending more time with frens than with u...
I could have realized earlier that all u want is me by ur side most of the time. sharing with you your problems and also giving u the warmth that u should be feeling.
I know i'm not a very good bf to you for the past years and i hope i'll get the chance to make it up to you someday.
Like i've said before, i've really learnt my lesson le. I know what i should do when u're angry, down or emotional... I just wished you could see it.
Regrets aint gonna do any good, so i wont regret. I'll do a better job next time around.
Till the end, I love you baby laopo <3
p/s: oh yea, i'm still using the cup u gave me ^^ and i'm glad u like the ring.
152 <3
-end-
Verse 14 - Kinda hurts
Today is great, i'm at ease doing my work and i have proper planning now. All i had to do is follow it, though something came up that got my mood all down and all =.=
I got to chat with her again today. She find me... *aint good*. She started yapping about not wanting to be friends with me anymore if i asked her frens to help me get her back. Oh well...
I remembered talking to one of her fren, he said that she's been wearing the ring i gave her. I thought maybe there's some meaning behind it? i dunno... so i kinda asked him to find out. But, things turned out just as i expected. She made it clear to me just now saying that she only wore it cos it look nice. =.= i understand... it does look nice.
Kinda hurt abit, but its alrite, compare to what i've put her through, i guess its nothing. Dunno if its the morning mood or wat, but i'm kinda calm when dealing with her, heh... i guess i really know her too well.
Overall today was alrite aside from that little pain. Was planning to go gym but, i forgot to bring my stuff =.=. Oh yea, i think i've started to move on in a way. Though i still love her alot, i guess wanting her back is not the 1st priority anymore. After all those things she said, like "i no more feel for you" and stuff, i'm really begining to think that its true, and whatever i do is kinda hopeless. But i'll still try i guess, until i finally give up. Shouldn't be hard if she keep hurting me unintentionally. I'm actually getting use to the pain now, just as she got used to the pain when she was with me? I know, i might say it today, and forget about it tomorrow =.=
Maybe her fren is rite, neglecting her must be more hurtful than scolding her. Ah well, just let her be i guess.
Baby, i dunno if we'll ever be together again. If i'll be able to show u just how much this relationship has changed. But whatever the end result might be, i wont have any regrets anymore, cos at least i know we've once loved each other wholeheartedly...
152 <3
I got to chat with her again today. She find me... *aint good*. She started yapping about not wanting to be friends with me anymore if i asked her frens to help me get her back. Oh well...
I remembered talking to one of her fren, he said that she's been wearing the ring i gave her. I thought maybe there's some meaning behind it? i dunno... so i kinda asked him to find out. But, things turned out just as i expected. She made it clear to me just now saying that she only wore it cos it look nice. =.= i understand... it does look nice.
Kinda hurt abit, but its alrite, compare to what i've put her through, i guess its nothing. Dunno if its the morning mood or wat, but i'm kinda calm when dealing with her, heh... i guess i really know her too well.
Overall today was alrite aside from that little pain. Was planning to go gym but, i forgot to bring my stuff =.=. Oh yea, i think i've started to move on in a way. Though i still love her alot, i guess wanting her back is not the 1st priority anymore. After all those things she said, like "i no more feel for you" and stuff, i'm really begining to think that its true, and whatever i do is kinda hopeless. But i'll still try i guess, until i finally give up. Shouldn't be hard if she keep hurting me unintentionally. I'm actually getting use to the pain now, just as she got used to the pain when she was with me? I know, i might say it today, and forget about it tomorrow =.=
Maybe her fren is rite, neglecting her must be more hurtful than scolding her. Ah well, just let her be i guess.
Baby, i dunno if we'll ever be together again. If i'll be able to show u just how much this relationship has changed. But whatever the end result might be, i wont have any regrets anymore, cos at least i know we've once loved each other wholeheartedly...
152 <3
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