Verse 8 - Finally cried

I was randomly thinking about stuff just now, and tears just rushed down my cheeks. I have no idea why, maybe becos of all the pressure i had.

I was thinking, did baby felt this way too?

All the work i've been doing + the feeling of not having my baby around + the feeling of chasing back my baby + i dunno.. alot of other things.

Now i know what it felt like when she needed me and i wasn't there.

How i wish she was here now to share these feelings of mine...

Everything's in a mess, work is a mess, its giving me pressure, my love life is a mess, she's not here to support me, all she wants is freedom right now, i couldn't give up on her, but she's already saying that she dun love me, she wanted to be single and that she wasn't thinking of me at all and stuff. What should i do really? i dunno, i've never cried this hard in my life for quite sometimes now... Everything is just so wrong.

I recalled the day when she said i was lying to her. I didn't lie, i really did left my car keys in my fren's car and was waiting for him to turn around in a shopping complex near by. But i dun blame her for doubting me cos i know she loves me alot. Too much that got her so scared of loosing me. I understand those feelings and i should really let her enjoy herself right now and treat her better if there ever was a time we're together again.

The reasons for my tears are really unknown to me. I guess i need time alone to organize things again. Its really suffocating and i dun think i've ever experienced this feeling before.

Right now the only person i wan by my side is already gone, i guess i had to imagine she was here just to comfort myself... *sigh* really *sigh*....

Somehow i had the feeling that i dun have any chance in getting her back anymore. Are all the things that me and her been through going down the dump? i dunno, i dun wish to think further, maybe this is one cause of my tears, but wtheck, i dun wanna think further...

I felt very "bu gan yen" sometimes, but a girl once told me "ni yao bu gan yen hai shi ni yao ai ta?"... ofcos wo ai ta...

And a different girl told me "ru guo ta zhen de ai ni de hua, ta bu ying gai wei le zhe zian xiao shi ching er li kai ni", but this girl didn't know how wrong i was 1st...

haiii.... i really dunno what the hell i'm talking about, what my main point was to all this. I guess this is it for now... I feel alot better as usual blogging it out.

152 <3