Random Verse - This feeling is killing me

I know i said i'll not blog anymore, but dam, i really need to blog this out. I've been struggling over something recently or rather since 2 months ago. =.=

Sometimes i'm afraid, and sometimes i feel regrets. I dunno what to do, whether to get her back or not. Even if i wanna get her back, will she come back or not. Even if she come back, will we still be the same as before or not. All these random thoughts have been bugging me and its effecting the way i chat with her, treat her and everything.

Remember i mentioned a fren whom has problems with his gf? well, i asked him once "why are u so in love with you gf?" people always tends to say "i dunno" but that's not it. I believe that u love someone for a reason, its impossible that there's no reason behind it rite? some tend to say "everything about her" but still they complain certain things about her. But my fren said "i dunno, everything about her i guess, i love the way she call my name, i love the way she stick around, i jst felt like protecting her cos she's very vunerable"

I guess that would be my answer too. sigh*
I can't deny that i love her alot. Pictures that we took together still lingers with me. Remembered her mom wanted pictures of the 2 of us together, and we took it, edit it and printed it out. Are the pictures still with her? i can't tell. What is she thinking anyways? does she still misses me? does she still care about me?

Why do i love her so much when there're so much problems in between? I guess the reasons below are enuff to ignore all the problems and give me strenght to continue on with her:

. i love the way she call my name.
. i love the way she stick around all the time.
. i love the way she asked me to help her out with something.
. i love the way she smiles.
. i love the face she showed when she's done being mad at me.
. i love the way we kissed.
. i love the way we hug together.
. i love the face she showed when she sleeps.
. i guess, i love everything about her.
. She made me feel like protecting her for the rest of my life.

In reality, the phrase "i dunno why i love her" seems to derive becos the reasons that one person love someone is enough to cover up all problems between them.

Baby when are u coming back? Can't u see i'm in hell without you by my side? sigh* i guess i haven't really done anything to show how much i love her, my sincerity... Guess i'm still very uncertain what i should do.

To do, or not to do, that is the question... =.=

i love you baby,
152 <3